Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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~Ant~

09/09/08 6:38AM

~ Ant ~

Ants are master designers and builders, and they never rest. They are always working, and they work together to complete a master project. Look at the many lessons for humans here. Quiet determination to reach your goal, and the willingness to work hard and steadily to accomplish that goal. No false pride that says you have to do everything yourself, and alone. The ability to work in groups for the good of the whole. The great gift of patience which allows us to study our alternatives, and take one step at a time — always moving forward toward that goal. Self discipline, group effort, and the ability to delegate are all part of ant medicine. Never giving up. Patience, patience and PATIENCE. Not falling for a fast and easy solution because, in your heart, you know there is no substitute for your own dedication to your goal, and your willingness to work to get there. Persistence — and the success that comes with persistence — are ant traits.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 21:48

Labels: attraction, love, positive

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 08:45

Self-Preservation: The Meat of My Matter

Current mood: determined
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Hard Realisation: I have been an overly domesticated female. I kept some wildishness/ wolfishness -- I homeschooled and thumbed my nose at those who judged me for it. I was able, though not as prolifically as in the past, to keep my creativity from crumbling into nothingness -- but, I let my Self go.

I lulled myself into believing the little bits and pieces I did to keep me from death was enough. I totally let my music and poetry go. I was hanging onto my Self by a thread. I was going to bury what made me feel alive and free and sharp. I worked to convince myself I didn't care or need what I was missing.

Now, I feel the void; a hollow pit in my torso that I want filled and though I know what will fill it, I am waiting. Waiting because I don't want to be trapped again. Life is full of easy and intricate ways of getting hurt, ensnared and sick. I haven't/ won't jump(ed) at any person, place or thing that catches my eye or ear. Have to stay grounded.

At this time, I feel like I got away from what was starving my soul -- the water filling my lungs whilst clawing and scratching at anything to get away and not drown; running out of burning breath... What kind of way is that to live? I used what I could find and made it what I needed it to be to keep me afloat whilst making the choices to up heave every person, creature and thing in my life.

Sometimes I cringe at myself not making waves sooner just so those around me could be comfortable. Sometimes I think myself selfish for not having it continue. I am healing my injuries on my own for now. I know it is necessary and must do this - understand where my head is at and where I want it to be. It doesn't mean that I don't long for this emptiness to cease; to have it filled; to stop feeling so cold.

I know it will happen though - I hear people calling me; telling me it's time to do real work - to really change the world. I feel that so strong; I feel like I'm gonna explode. But me exploding with no focus won't do any good. I need to become aware of my abilities so I can use my powers for good. There's so much sadness in the world - we need people that recognise there must be balance. So, I tossed my life into the air with absolute regard and conviction; the goal of a better life for me and those I hold closest to my heart.

Shape of My Heart - Sting
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 08:10