Girl With The Curls |
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Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire
__One Percent - 1%__
Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never. Are You HOT or NOT? ARCHIVES 04.2001 05.2001 06.2001 07.2001 08.2001 09.2001 10.2001 11.2001 12.2001 01.2002 03.2002 04.2002 05.2002 06.2002 07.2002 08.2002 09.2002 11.2002 01.2003 03.2003 04.2003 05.2003 08.2003 03.2004 04.2004 05.2004 07.2004 11.2004 12.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 04.2006 05.2006 10.2006 11.2006 01.2007 02.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 11.2007 12.2007 05.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 |
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
~Ant~
holla@me Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Knock and the door will be opened. Positivity Attraction Electricity Reaction
Labels: attraction, love, positive holla@me
Self-Preservation: The Meat of My Matter Current mood: determined Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes Hard Realisation: I have been an overly domesticated female. I kept some wildishness/ wolfishness -- I homeschooled and thumbed my nose at those who judged me for it. I was able, though not as prolifically as in the past, to keep my creativity from crumbling into nothingness -- but, I let my Self go. I lulled myself into believing the little bits and pieces I did to keep me from death was enough. I totally let my music and poetry go. I was hanging onto my Self by a thread. I was going to bury what made me feel alive and free and sharp. I worked to convince myself I didn't care or need what I was missing. Now, I feel the void; a hollow pit in my torso that I want filled and though I know what will fill it, I am waiting. Waiting because I don't want to be trapped again. Life is full of easy and intricate ways of getting hurt, ensnared and sick. I haven't/ won't jump(ed) at any person, place or thing that catches my eye or ear. Have to stay grounded. At this time, I feel like I got away from what was starving my soul -- the water filling my lungs whilst clawing and scratching at anything to get away and not drown; running out of burning breath... What kind of way is that to live? I used what I could find and made it what I needed it to be to keep me afloat whilst making the choices to up heave every person, creature and thing in my life. Sometimes I cringe at myself not making waves sooner just so those around me could be comfortable. Sometimes I think myself selfish for not having it continue. I am healing my injuries on my own for now. I know it is necessary and must do this - understand where my head is at and where I want it to be. It doesn't mean that I don't long for this emptiness to cease; to have it filled; to stop feeling so cold. I know it will happen though - I hear people calling me; telling me it's time to do real work - to really change the world. I feel that so strong; I feel like I'm gonna explode. But me exploding with no focus won't do any good. I need to become aware of my abilities so I can use my powers for good. There's so much sadness in the world - we need people that recognise there must be balance. So, I tossed my life into the air with absolute regard and conviction; the goal of a better life for me and those I hold closest to my heart. Shape of My Heart - Sting holla@me |