Girl With The Curls |
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Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire
__One Percent - 1%__
Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never. 
Are You HOT or NOT?  
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Thursday, January 24, 2002
I thought I was in heaven...
It's late; I just slipped into my robe (it's cold right now, too cold to "naked blog") thinking it's been so long since I've put something in my journal. I feel bad because bad & good & medium have happened and been happening & I've just been busy trying to stay satisfied. Car fixed, but at a larger cost than we almost could afford. I dislike those nasty bits of life sometimes...the frustration. Things are the way I thought would be with my sister...she's beginning to hate. I knew that would happen...oh well, there's always next life to reconcile...if I CARE next life. Kids are growing and learning faster than I can process...Have to stay quick being a parent...can't get lazy. Cool things are headed our way with YMI...I'm real excited and well just EXCITED...I really have to type about that!!! Work in a new setting is awright; different...it's a job, just let it help to get us to our goal: out of debt and starting our portfolio. ...I was driving home from work. It was a pleasant drive...quick and a little dangerous. Once home, B- had made me a sandwich and had fries ready. The kids were all snuggled in their beds, with dreamy sleep encircled about their heads. The kitkats and stuppy were behaving well but somewhat erratic. I was chatting with B- and he fell asleep in our bed looking beautiful and sensuous and lovely...so much so that I had to kiss him passionately which threw him off since he was completely asleep...goodness he's a "god" of men *but I could be totally inlove with him too. And I started brushing my teeth and was settling in bed to sleep...when I smelled a horrible smell emitting from the direction that my dude was sleeping. I can't say for sure that it was him, but "someone" busted ass. It brought me to earth. And made me very thankful that I wasn't in heaven, but that I was breathing...and here...alive. Even with all the rough stuff that has occurred, I'm still here...with my thoughts and my family and my friends and that even the worst I "feel" that life can and has given, I'm still alive...sensing...understanding THIS life...next life will be next...but I'm in THIS moment. I felt special. And I felt I needed to type it down. I wish I could say that I'm here all the time. But I neglect myself. I neglect my journal. I try not to neglect anything else...never my family, my most important accomplishment...even if I won some major award. Awww blah blah blah...I'm out of the moment now. But I miss my moments of reflection. holla@me |
