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Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire
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Tuesday, November 25, 2008
D~, How are you? Did you get my text about going to Ladies Tea on 7Dec? I miss you much and hope to see you before this year is out. I had to share because it is just incredible how galling this man I've been attached to can be! G wants to spend the night at a friends house this coming Friday. I told her it's her fathers weekend so she'd have to ask him if it's all right. She calls and asks, he wants to talk to me. Him murmuring and static on the phone: ...kids on Thanksgiving? Me: sorry, what? Him: Do you have plans on Thanksgiving? Me: Yes, dinner at my folks. Me: you want the kids for Thanksgiving?" Him chuckling: Yeah! it is my year to have the kids. Me: Oh, I didn't know you were going to want them. Strange you're telling me this the week of Thanksgiving. Him: Well if you have plans... Me: No, it's your year for the holidays. I don't want to deny you any privileges. Him: Let me call you back. While I'm waiting for him, G's been in the room the whole time. I asked her if her father told them they'd be with him for Thanksgiving. She says no. He calls back. Me: You haven't taken them for any other of your scheduled holidays this year. So, absolutely have the kids for the holiday. Him: You already have plans so let's just keep them as it is. Me: It's ok. This is your year. Him: No, you keep your plans. Me: Oh, ok. The rest was just blahblah filler. G heard it all. She kept giving me hugs and telling me she loved me afterward. Now that I understand this game, I've adapted and know I have to let the kids see more of the real instead of shielding them from it. I took your advice too and told the kids that as they're off during Winter Holiday, they should go and spend it with their dad. S said, "But you'll be all alone that week!" G looked at me cheekily and said, "you're trying to get rid of us!" It's just those sort of comments that make me realise, no matter what B wants to think, he's not at all slick. The kids do know what side their bread is buttered. I was just a too-good motherwife training the kids to respect a delinquent dad. It's better that they see him for what he is by his actions and deeds than anything I could ever enlighten them about him. It feels good to tell a story. It relieves the stress. I've quit cigarettes again too. I do like a couple on occasion but my body hates me for it. I'm off work until Black Friday and will be out and about grocery shopping but I have to conserve: $325 to change the separation agreement and $710 for the actual divorce. I'm thinking of calling in some favours to my friends! haha Of course, B is true to character; dragging this out and not offering a dime to finish this. I don't see why I should ask, he already owes me $4000 - weak a$MoFo... *wink* Love you Woman, -- A~ Reply Hey Girl: 1. Ladies’ Tea – Definitely!!!! 2. She is of the age that she THINKS she knows everything, and she needs to bounce (just a little bit). He’s just being a guy…going through that phase where you (and others) can see him for the emotional / fatherly slacker he is. Do not feel guilty about her witnessing this. It is the truth and she is old enough to know the truth. His actions speak volumes…there’s nothing else you need to say. G has looked behind the curtain… I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s all so familiar. Good luck on that 4 Grand. L ……………………………………………………… Since he’s not spending any time with you and the kids, I will assume that YMI is wildly popular now and will be nominated for a Grammy. “Measure of a Boy” …or is that Man? (Excuse) Song of the Year Rock On!!! holla@me
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