Girl With The Curls

Girl With The Curls
Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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The current mood of ambercyn@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

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Saturday, April 30, 2005
King of Sorrow – Sade; Lovers Rock
I’m crying everyone’s tears
And there inside our private war
I died the night before
And all of these remnants of joy and disaster
What am I suppose to do

I want to cook you a soup that warms your soul
But nothing would change
Nothing would change at all
It’s just a day that brings it all about
Just another day and nothing’s any good

The DJ’s playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder if this grief will ever let me go
I feel like I am the king
Of sorrow, yeah
The king of sorrow

I suppose I could just walk away
Will I disappoint my future if I stay
It’s just a day that brings it all about
Just another day and nothing’s any good

The DJ’s playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder will this grief ever be gone
Will it ever go
I’m the king
Of sorrow, yeah
The king of sorrow

I’m crying everyone’s tears
I have already paid for all my future sins
There’s nothing anyone
Can say to take this away
It’s just another day and nothing’s any good

I’m the king of sorrow, yeah
King of sorrow
I’m the king of sorrow, yeah
King of sorrow
Repeat above until fade



The private war... I don’t know why it’s a war.
I started it last night perhaps. I slept downstairs in the lower level. I just didn’t want to sleep in bed. I don’t know what set me off. Part was when he came home from pickin’ up some cheesesteak subs, our friend was over and he walked by me, to give her a hug. After, he walked up to me and rubbed my forearm.
Another part has been these looks he gives where he smiles and I’m EXPECTED to smile too. It’s like it’s the whole “you grin you in” scenario. If I don’t, I’m not with the program and then it’s what’s wrong? What the fuck do you think is wrong? I told him I don’t trust him. I have good reason not too! I feel like he expects me to be the one to bring it all together. I’ve done that over and over and over. I need to know he wants this...US. I explained where I was coming from one month before that fateful trip and he did NOTHING. It wasn’t important TO HIM until he came back. Now he’s up in arms and turning resentful…AGAIN.
It’s almost been a month since he’s been back and “we” don’t talk about how to get us back on track. It is him wishing we were close again. Behold, you shall stand at the door (of my heart) and knock. Unfair to have an expectation that I’ll just let a person back in over and over and over. I don’t trust him. I told him he had to win my heart back…if he wanted it. I’ve already said it. Now he’s mad `cause he isn’t doing anything to and OF COURSE it’s my job and I'm not doing anything so, it's my fault. Fuck that!
And my question is, How does it feel to have a person only putting as much into the relationship as you do? He’s given up after a month…with no in depth discussion WITH ME about it since the first few days he came home. Someone has been listening to him, but he ain’t sayin’ the words to ME. Anyone that knows me knows I don’t/won’t fight for no fuckin’ male. I’ll fight for myself and my kids, but I ain’t fighting to make a man stay with me…motherfucker please.
I haven’t even given up! I’ve just put in an equal amount that he has after almost 10 years of pushing to make this work. I know him; lived with him; know his flaws and weaknesses. He knows mine too and I’ve revealed a lot of my secrets. I’ve never expected perfect. I thought that we both knew we’d fuck-up along the way. But for one to have a pattern of behavior that is destructive yet that one won’t change…dares get resentful…and is looking for someone else to “lean on”? *shaking head*
It’s just a day that brings it all about; just another day and nothin’s any good…

holla@me


Friday, April 29, 2005
Caught Out There - Kelis; Kaleidoscope
Talking: Yo this song yo…
This song is for all the women out there,
That have been lied to by their men…
And I know y'all been lied to
Over and over again
this is for y'all
yo maybe you didn't break the way you shoulda broke yo
But I break…

Last year
Valentines Day
You would just warmly say
'Babe I love you
Love you'
(Yo, he's lyin')
And 'I swear'
Held you when you were sick
Even *sucked your dick*
The whole time I think to myself
This isn't fair
What is this I see? (No!)
You don't come home to me (Oh No!)
When you don't come home to me
Can't deal
Can't bear
You keep telling me lies
But to your surprise
Look I found her
Red coat
And you’re/your (Bitch) caught out there

Chorus:
I hate you so much right now
I hate you so much right now
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
I hate you so much right now
I hate you so much right now
I hate you so much right now
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!
I hate you so much right now

So sick of your games
I'll set your truck to flames
And watch it blow up, blow up (laughing)
Tell me
How you gonna see her now?
So far from sincere (him: I love you)
Fabrications in my ear
Drive me so far up the wall
I come sliding down
What is this I see? (I don't believe this)
You don't come home to me
When you don't come home to me
I can't deal
Can't bear (I won't)
You keep telling me lies
But to your surprise
Look I hope you're happy
Since you're caught out there

Yeah you been caught.
(Chorus)

She's so raunchy
So vulgar
Not me
Why the hell her
Look! She dresses (Look at her!) a mess
What do you see? (I don't know)
It's not all about cash (Hell no!)
Nor how much you flash
How I dress is a reflection of me
What is this I see?
You don't come home to me (uh-uh)
When you don't come home to me
I can't deal
Can't bear (I told you I won't)
You keep telling me lies
But to your surprise
Look I've got something for y'all
Since you're (sound: gun cock) caught out there

(Chorus)

Such a lovely day today...even with it being cold outside and gloomy. I was able to get a good amount of sleep...yay. and thank you for all you've given. Devotion/surrender/attentiveness seems to be better than love.

Automatic – Pointer Sisters
Look what you're doing to me
I'm utterly at your whim
All of my defenses down
Your camera looks through me
With its X-ray vision
And all systems run aground
All I can manage to push from my lips
Is a stream of absurdities
Every word I intended to speak
Winds up locked in the circuitry

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems are down
Down, down, down
Au-to-mat-ic (automatic)
Au-to-mat-ic (automatic)

What is this madness
That makes my motor run
And my legs too weak to stand
I go from sadness
To exhilaration
Like a robot at your command
My hands perspire and shake like a leaf
Up and down goes my temperature
I summon doctors to get some relief
But they tell me there is no cure
They tell me

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems are down
Down, down, down

(Automatic)
(Automatic)
Au-to-mat-ic (automatic)
Au-to-mat-ic (automatic)

Au-to-mat-ic
Au-to-mat-ic
Au-to-mat-ic
Au-to-mat-ic (automatic)

Look what you're doing to me
I'm utterly at your whim
All of my defenses down
Your camera looks through me
With its X-ray vision
And all systems run aground
All I can manage to push from my lips
Is a stream of absurdities
Every word I intended to speak
Winds up locked in the circuitry

No way to control it
It's totally automatic
Whenever you're around
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic
All of my systems are down
Down, down
No way to control it
It's totally automatic (automatic)
Whenever you're around (automatic)
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic (automatic)
All of my systems are down
Down, down

(Automatic)
(Automatic)
(Automatic)

No way to control it
It's totally automatic (automatic)
Whenever you're around (automatic)
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic (automatic)
All of my systems are down
Down, down
No way to control it
It's totally automatic (automatic)
Whenever you're around (automatic)
I'm walking blindfolded
Completely automatic (automatic)
All of my systems are down


ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: With a little help, you'll be able to comprehend a certain matter in ways that are new to you.
Overview: You've been thinking about becoming more marketable at your chosen profession -- and thinking about going back to school to get that done. Who cares how old you are or what class you're interested in? Wouldn't it be fun?
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Still thinking about school or adding to your resume? Well, that's great -- but be sure whatever courses you sign up for will benefit not just your credentials, but also your heart, soul and mind. What about taking a class on a subject you've always been fascinated with? Even if it's not a supposedly 'marketable' subject -- at least, according to your current path -- it could turn out to be invaluable. Everyone needs to follow their bliss. Don't lose sight of yours.
Too much in my heart and mind to put it all down. And even if I did, it wouldn't be understood. To sum it up, I'm elated...and I didn't have any idea that I would be anytime soon.

The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead – XTC
Peter pumpkinhead came to town
Spreading wisdom and cash around
Fed the starving and housed the poor
Showed the Vatican what gold’s for
But he made too many enemies
Of the people who would keep us on our knees
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Who’ll pray for peter pumpkinhead?
Oh my!
Peter pumpkinhead pulled them all
Emptied churches and shopping malls
Where he spoke, it would raise the roof
Peter pumpkinhead told the truth
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead put to shame
Governments who would slur his name
Plots and sex scandals failed outright
Peter merely said
Any kind of love is alright
But he made too many enemies...
Peter pumpkinhead was too good
Had him nailed to a chunk of wood
He died grinning on live tv
Hanging there he looked a lot like you
And an awful lot like me!
But he made too many enemies...
Hooray for peter pumpkin
Who’ll pray for peter pumpkin
Hooray for peter pumpkinhead
Oh my oh my oh!
Doesn’t it make you want to cry oh?

holla@me


Thursday, April 28, 2005
Thinking. lovely, delicious. I've said that it's the little things that make me happy. Well, it is the more complex and enduring things that are thrilling! Possibly to expound later? Maybe...
Walking After You – Foo Fighters
Tonight I’m tangled in my blanket of clouds
Dreaming aloud
Things just won’t do without you, matter of fact, ohhh
I’m on your back, I’m on your back
Ohhh, I’m on your back

If you’d accept surrender, I’ll give up some more
Weren’t you adored
I cannot be without you, matter of fact ohhh
I’m on your back

If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you

Another heart is cracked in two, I’m on your back

I cannot be without you, matter of fact ohhh
I’m on your back, I’m on your back
Ohhh, I’m on your back

If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you
If you walk out on me, I’m walking after you

Heh-Heh, that I could be this maniacal in my lighter devilish thoughts...

"Pulling Teeth" - Green Day; Dookie
I'm all busted up
Broken bones and nasty cuts
Accidents will happen
But this time I can't get up
She comes to check on me
Making sure I'm on my knees
After all she's the one
Who put me in this state

Is she ultra-violent?
Is she disturbed?
I better tell her that I love her
Before she does it all over again
Oh god, she's killing me!!!

For now I'll lie around
hell, that's all I can really do
She takes good care of me
Just keep saying my love is true

Is she ultra-violent?
Is she disturbed?
I better tell her that I love her
Before she does it all over again
Oh god, she's killing me!!!

Looking out my window for
Someone that's passing by
No one knows I'm locked in here
All I do is cry

For now I'll lie around
hell, that's all I can really do
She takes good care of me
Just keep saying my love is true


ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: You know what's what and that's that. Your certainty lets you have a great day.
Overview: You're not much for small talk. You're famous for saying exactly what you mean in as few syllables as possible. Today, however? Expect to be chatty, uncharacteristically so.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Just the facts, ma'am -- that's your style, your credo and what you're famous for. It applies most to your style of communication, especially to conversations with strangers or platonic acquaintances. Right now, though, you'll feel the need to go on at length -- about the silliest things, too. Don't worry, it's temporary. In the meantime, chat up a storm and enjoy it.
Pisces
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Spend the day keeping a nice, healthy distance between you and whoever you've been trying to duck out on -- even if you know they'll notice and take offense. What's more important, after all? Having a good day, or placating someone who really does need to realize, once and for all, that they're going to be avoided when they're dragging around that dark cloud? Right. Your day wins.
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're entitled to give yourself the luxury of speaking your mind whenever you want to, and lately you've done just that. But today, you woke up without the urge to shout, spout or go on at length about anything at all. It's a bit of a relief, isn't it? Well if you're feeling that way, you can just imagine how your dear ones are feeling. Treat them to dinner at your place. It's only fair.
Capricorn
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Everything you're thinking, feeling and even remotely wondering will issue immediately from your lips. No, that's not your usual style, and yes, you'll definitely be shocking and amazing the masses -- not to mention your inner circle. That doesn't mean you should stop yourself, though. Not for a second. Say every word just the way you want to. It's your turn to be unceremoniously blunt. Enjoy it.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)It's finally starting to dawn on you that it's over, and that you've actually gotten yourself out of a really tough situation. You're feeling free -- like it really is the first day of the rest of your life. Well, don't stop now. If you have a couple of other changes in mind, this would be a good time to give them some energy and consideration, too. Why not make it a clean sweep?

holla@me


Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Argh. I hate when I find an error in a lyric...I question the integrity of the entire cut/paste.
I Don’t Wanna Be – Gavin DeGraw; Chariot

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by IDENTITY crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be



Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
I know what you’re doing,
I see it all too clear
I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears
You really had me going, wishing on a star
But the black holes that surround you are heavier by far
I believed in your confusion, you were so completely torn
Well it must have been that yesterday, the day that I was born
There’s not much to examine, there’s nothing left to hide
You really can’t be serious if you have to ask me why

I say good-bye...

‘Cause I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay

Everyone keeps asking, what’s it all about?
I used to be so certain and I can’t figure out
What is this attraction? I only feel the pain
There’s nothing left to reason and only you to blame

Will it ever change?

‘Cause I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I’m thinking it over anyway...

I’ve come to find
I may never know
Your changing mind
Is it friend or foe?

I rise above
Or sink below
With every time
You come and go
Please don’t come and go

‘Cause I am barely breathing
And I can’t find the air
I don’t know who I’m kidding
Imagining you care
And I could stand here waiting
A fool for another day
But I don’t suppose it’s worth the price, worth the price
The price that I would pay
But I’m thinking it over anyway
But I'm thinking it over anyway

I know what you're doingI see it all too clear.



ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: You know you're right, but it won't pay to get self-righteous. Ease up a little.
Overview: Intensity and excess are the only games you'll be interested in playing. Of course, if anyone loves indulging in nothing but the best, it's you -- and if anyone can find delightful company, that's you, too. Enjoy!
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Nothing but the best -- that's what your pleasure-loving little heart and soul crave. Fortunately, you've been blessed with the ability to get what you want in such a charming fashion that no one minds. In fact, it makes them happy to give it to you. That goes double for right now, so go ahead and do what you do best. Send out a subtle signal, via a glance or a carefully placed phrase. You perfected the technique -- it's only fair that you put it to use.

holla@me


Tuesday, April 26, 2005
I was feeling a little shy putting anything on here for a little. I got smacked down by a family member and I questioned my judgment. In error.
My journal has to do with what I choose to put here; not necessarily my perception of things. It's my perogative what I want to reveal. It also is a place where I put my most passionate, harshest, critical, loving an/or etc. emotions and sure, I may put a "spin" on interactions or thoughts that may cross my mind. Does it make it a lie or fake? No, I don't think so. Does it make it the truth? No, I don't think so. Does it mean I'm not objective? No...not at all. I write what I feel and then I temper it with my logical, analytical mind. hahaha But, more importantly, it is what I do away from this site and online and how I interact real time with people that means anything.

what is that saying?

There are three sides to every story; yours, mine and the truth.

holla@me


Every Word - Sade; Lovers Rock

(Love is what the word was)
I saw a picture
How could you be so careless
How could you have done that to us
And I write this letter
Send it all back to you
And every word you said

In there every word
Oh oh oh
How could you have done that to us

You treated me like a stranger
And all the time I was loving you
All your slick moves
They were once innocent moves
I wanted to look up to you
I really trusted you
And every word you said

In there every word
Oh oh oh
(Now I send it all back...to you)
How could you have done that to us

(Love is what the word was)
And I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
*Oh God your smile*
(Love is what the word was)
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said

I was loving you like a child
All the time you were smiling
The same smile
I was loving you like a child
I really trusted you

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Every word you said
Every word you said
(Love is what the word was)
I send it all back to you, yeah
(Love is what the word was)

Oh Good Lord...trouble? I hope not.
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Financial risks may not pay off the way you expect right now. Caution is the name of the game.
Overview: Someone you've been doing quite a bit of daydreaming about lately just so happens to be losing a bit of concentration because of you, too. Oh, give them a call. It's either that or you both lose your jobs.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You haven't really been able to think straight for days -- okay, maybe it's been more like weeks. You've been totally and completely distracted by a certain someone. But, wonderfully enough, they've been equally preoccupied with you. Well, now's the time to be brave and have a heart-to-heart talk about these mutual feelings. Isn't it time you two let your hair down? Sure it is.

Landslide - Fleetwood Mac [Stevie Nicks]
I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain and turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'til the landslide brought it down
Oh, mirror in the sky -What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin'...ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well I've been afraid of changing `cause I've
Built my life around you
Time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too

I don't know...I don't know
I take my love...take it down
I climbed a mountain and turned around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills...
Well the landslide will bring it down

The landslide will bring it down

holla@me


Sunday, April 17, 2005
Valotte – Julian Lennon; Valotte
Sitting on the doorstep of the house I can't afford
I can feel you there
Thinking of a reason, well, it's really not very hard
to love you even though you nearly lost my heart
How can I explain the meaning of our love
It fits so tight, closer than a glove
[ Chorus ]
Sitting on a pebble by the river playing guitar
Wonderin' if we're really ever gonna get that far
Do you know there's something wrong
'Cause I've felt it all along
I can see you face in the mirrors of my mind
Will you still be there
We're really not so clever as we seem to think we are
We've always got our troubles
So we'll solve them at the bar
The days go by, we seem to drift apart
If I could only find a way to keep hold of your heart
[ Repeat chorus ]
Sitting in the valley as I watch the sun go down
I can see you there
Thinking of a reason, well, it's really not very hard
to love you though you nearly lost my heart
When will we know when the change is gonna come
I've got a good feeling and it's coming from the sun
Sitting on a pebble by the river playing guitar
Wonderin' if we're really ever gonna get that far
Do you know there's something wrong
We'll stick together 'cause we're strong
(Written by Clayton/Morales/Lennon)
© 1984 Charisma Music (ASCAP)

I've had a lot to think about; a lot on my plate; a lot to deal with; a lot of fun. It's been real! I like real but then again, I like to be able to day-dream. Haven't been allowed much of that. This horoscope is, well the quickie is, what I've been looking at and `fessin' up with myself. Evenso, there is still more than enough of that to go around. It isn't even worth it. I figure I can't stress the big stuff...too obvious. It's the little things that give me a *big smile* Working out a lot too. Plenty of slippery slopes to give it spice. Please, will I get more than 4 hours sleep a night? I need my beauty sleep! We're working on our problems...I'm so glad. It was really preying on my mind. Fourteen years is a long investment together and I don't regret a moment of it...how can I? It helped to make me the person that I am right now and of course, I love who I am. Always room for improvement, NO DOUBT, and that is my search in this Life I feel.

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: You'll get more help if you're willing to shoulder your share of the blame.
Overview: You'll be on center stage for a couple of days -- but you're going to like it. You may not usually be much for basking in the spotlight, but you'll be willing to make an exception now. And you should!
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're in the mood to laugh at yourself and to take some chances, which is a highly appealing quality. As a result, you can expect your fan mail to be especially heavy for a few days -- no, weeks, actually -- and for the paparazzi to be even more annoying than usual. Oh, well. This is just one of those awful jobs that someone's got to do. Fortunately, you're well suited to being adored.

Played D&D last night...until 1:20a! It was fun. We play the game hard. I love the gang...so much. They do a terrific job at keeping me laughing and I do my fair share. I realized yesterday though that I need to get my ass better well-read on my character and the game so's I can feel more effective. I have ONE confirmed kill notched on my hide armor. It was funny because Steve rolled and gave this "Raga-Muffin" a great hit, but didn't kill it. Then I said I was rolling to get it off the Battle Sorceror and I struck it down with my scimitar with less points than Battle Sorceror did! HAHA fun!
I saw Anthony first and he noticed right away that I lost a lot of weight and told me I'd better be careful or I'd lose my ass. I told him ain't no way...I've had an ass ever since I was a scrawny girl. Stephen said something too. You know when a guy (let alone two) notice weight loss it must be somewhat significant. They hadn't seen me since February though so that's gotta be why. I'm fitting into these two mini-skirts that I used to wear when I was 20...just gotta get them into shape; still in style. That's why I go for the classic in certain clothes and fun or outrageous in others.

holla@me


Friday, April 15, 2005
Young Hearts Run Free - Kym Mazelle

What's the sense in sharing this one and only life
Ending up, just another lost and lonely wife
You count up the years, and they will be filled with tears, oooh
Love only breaks up, to start over again
You'll get the babies, but you won't have your man
While he is busy loving every woman that he can, huh huh

Say I wanna leave a thousand times a day
It's easier said that done, when I just can't break away
Just can't break away

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Hmmm, my man and me
Young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
I said I don't love you

It's high time, just one crack at life
Who want’s to live in, trouble and strife?
My mind must be free, to learn all I can about me
I'm gonna love me for the rest of my days
Caress the babies every time they say
Self preservation is what's really going on today, oooh

Say I wanna leave a thousand times a day
How can I turn loose
When you just can't break away (just can't break away)

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Oooh, my man and me
Whoa, young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
I said I don't love you, hmmm

Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
[4x’s]

Young hearts, run free
Never be hung up, hung up like my man and me (oooh)
Whoa, my man and me
Whoa, young hearts, to yourself be true
Don't be no fool when loving is all there is (oooh)
No, yeah aaah aaah aaah

Young hearts, run free...



ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Today is the day to take a risk. Don't be shy. Tell them how you feel.
Overview: You're as sensual and magnetic as anyone could possibly be -- so you're used to being treated that way by others. But what you're used to still won't compare to what's coming over the next couple of days. Got an agent?
Daily extended -For the next few weeks, you'll be a veritable magnet for the affection and attention of admirers, new and old. If you happen to be happily attached, better find a way now to make your current partner know just how much you care. Because when the crowd around you starts to grow thick -- and it will -- they'll need your reassurance. And if you're single, enjoy that dazzling allure. Just be sure to make your choice wisely.


BY lASHA SENIUK
Taurus - Yesterday's social misunderstandings may briefly reappear. Expect friends or close colleagues to scrutinize dates, times or promises. Remain philosophic and watch for improvement. Loved ones may struggle to resolve outdated fears. Relations with employers, mentors or teachers will require public diplomacy.
Leo - Love relationships will either greatly expand or begin to fade. Watch romantic partners for obvious hints or emotional signals. A public display of loyalty may be needed. Resolve postponed commitments or mistaken promises and all will be well.
Libra - A recently moody friend may become mildly confrontational. Private emotions or hidden resentments will be easily resolved. Key issues may involve career disappointments, strained family relationships or ongoing power struggles with older relatives. Stay calm: Loved ones will expect your guidance and continuing support.
Scorpio - Romantic passions are strongly felt. Expect previously withdrawn lovers or friends to press for reliable promises and new commitments. Much of this is restless emotion, so not to worry. Do, however, watch for a sudden burst of anxiety. At present, loved ones may feel a powerful need for public affirmation.
Pisces - Home restrictions and emotional power struggles will fade. Watch for a new wave of understanding and shared goals to arrive in all key relationships. Family expectations may be strongly affected. Remain sensitive to complex proposals, revised group alliances and controversial financial ideas.

What is there to say? My mouth is dry and I lost my tears 2 years ago. Actions speak louder than words: this is the cliche of the year for me. I've tried and worked and struggled and did everything to keep it together but if I'm the only one 90% of the time...
completely not attentive enough; not like I am for him.

I wore this ring with pride
Now I feel it's just for show
It has no meaning anymore
Simply a tax status
And I only feel more and more foolish...

holla@me


Thursday, April 14, 2005
Black & White – Sarah McLachlan; Surfacing
a distant cord
on the outside is forgotten
a constant need
to get along
and the animal awakens
and all I feel is black and white
the road is long
the memory slides
to the whole of my undoing
put aside
I put away
I push it back to get through each day
and all I feel is black and white
and I'm wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am
everybody loves you when you're easy
everybody hates when you're a bore
everyone is waiting for your entrance so
don't disappoint them
unravel me
untie this chord
the very centre of our union
is caving in
I can't endure
I am the archive of our failure
and all I feel is black and white
and I'm wound up small and tight
and I don't know who I am
everybody loves you when you're easy
everybody hates when you're a bore
everyone is waiting for your entrance so
don't disappoint them
everybody loves you when you're easy so
don't disappoint them
don't disappoint them ...



Full of Grace – Sarah McLachlan; Surfacing
The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love


Angel – Sarah McLachlan; Surfacing
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

holla@me


Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Plenty - Sarah McLachlan; Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
I looked into your eyes
They told me plenty
I already knew
You never felt a thing
So soon forgotten all that you do
In more than words I
Tried to tell you
The more I tried I failed

I would not let myself believe
That you might stray
And I would stand by you
No matter what they’d say,
I would have thought I’d be with you
Until my dying day
Until my dying day

I used to think my life
Was often empty
A lonely space to fill
You hurt me more than
I ever would have imagined
You made my world stand still
And in that stillness
There was a freedom
I never felt before

I would not let myself believe
That you might stray
And I would stand by you
No matter what they’d say,
I would have thought I’d be with you
Until my dying day
Until my dying day

Waiting – Sarah McLachlan; Fumbling Toward Ecstasy
Under a blackened sky
Far beyond the glaring streetlights
Sleeping on empty dreams
The vultures lie in wait
You lay down beside me then
You were with me every waking hour
So close I could feel your breath

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yields
The new born hope unjaded by their years

Pressed up against the glass
I found myself wanting sympathy
But to be consumed again
Oh I know would be the death of me
And there is a love that’s inherently given
A kind of blindness offered to appease
And in that light of forbidden joy
Oh I know I won’t receive it

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yields
The newborn hope unjaded by their years

You know if I leave you now
It doesn’t mean that I love you any less
It’s just the state I’m in
I can’t be good to anyone else like this

When all we wanted was the dream
To have and to hold that precious little thing
Like every generation yieldsThe new born hope unjaded by their years...

Ice - Sarah McLachlan; Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
The ice is thin come on dive in
Underneath my lucid skin
The cold is lost, forgotten
Hours pass days pass time stands still
Light gets dark and darkness fills
My secret heart forbidden...

I think you worried for me then
The subtle ways that I’d give in but I know
You liked the show
Tied down to this bed of shame
You tried to move around the pain but oh
Your soul is anchored

The only comfort is the moving of the river
You enter into me, a lie upon your lips
Offer what you can, I’ll take all that I can get
Only a fool’s here...

I don’t like your tragic sighs
As if your God has passed you by well hey fool
That’s your deception
Your angels speak with jilted tongues
The serpent’s tale has come undone you have no
Strength to squander

The only comfort is the moving of the river
You enter into me, a lie upon your lips
Offer what you can, I’ll take all that I can get
Only a fool’s here to stay
Only a fool’s here to stay
Only a fool’s here...

Do what you have to do - Sarah McLachlan; Surfacing
What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rule of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
But I have the sense to recognize that
I don’t know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I’m ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don’t know how to let you go
That I don’t know how to let you go

A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
But I have a sense to recognize that
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go

Sweet Surrender – Sarah McLachlan; Surfacing
It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I’ve left behind me
Is a cold room
I’ve crossed the last line
From where I can’t return
Where every step I took in faith
Betrayed me
And led me from my home
And sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
You take me in
No questions asked
You strip away the ugliness
That surrounds me
Are you an angel
Am I already that gone
I only hope
That I won’t disappoint you
When I’m down here
On my knees
And sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
Sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
And I don’t understand
By the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall
I miss the little things
I miss everything (about you)
It doesn’t mean much
It doesn’t mean anything at all
The life I left behind me
Is a cold room
And sweet
Sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give


holla@me


Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Ready or Not - After 7; written by Babyface, L.A. Reid (1989)

I'll give you the sun
The rain
The moon
The stars and the mountains
I'll give you the world
And all that you wish for
And even more
Girl I love you more than you could know
And that's for sure
I'd climb the highest hill
Cross the widest sea
Nothing could discourage me
And I pray that you will be
Always there for me
Forever more

Ready or not
I'll give you everything
And more
All that I've got - it's yours
I'll give you everything
All that you're lookin’ for

I'll give you my heart
My soul
My time
My love is a fountain
I will be your earth
And all that you need for
And ever more
'Cause girl I love you more than words can show
My love is pure
I'll walk a thousand miles
Sail a thousand seas
Nothin' will discourage me
And I pray that you will
Always be there for me
Forever more

HOOK

Everything's not anything
If you're not here to share my dream
You don't know what it means to me
If you'll accept my love
I dedicate my love
My soul
My heart beats for you
Girl I can't get enough
So I'll wait for your love
There's nothin’ that I'd rather do

HOOK 3 times

holla@me


Monday, April 11, 2005
I've been walking a lot lately. I mean a lot. It feels good; I have a few moments to myself without being studied and questioned why I don't have a smile on my face.
Was it Thursday? It started raining before I got outside; that is what made me want to go for a walk. I love the rain. The weather changing into a lovely warm Spring is just what I've needed. It helps me to de-stress. I try to find happiness somewhere so that I don't keep focusing on the painful part of this path of my Life.
But the rain...
It wasn't quite warm enough for a short-sleeved shirt, but not cold enough for a jacket. Walking in the rain just fills me up. I don't know why; it was one of my secret pleasures as a child. When there was a thunderstorm or any rain of sustinence, I'd go out in it and get soaked. Feeling the rain hit my skin cool at first, then as it travels down, it gets warmer just before it falls. The weight of the wet clothes I wear; the cold and warm parts of the clothes as they stick to my body or pulled away.

I guess it is because it is such a physical, tangible, tactile sensation, but no one is doing it to me; It is Nature. I feel myself going back to being a primal creature and on occasion, if it's night-time; I do shed my fake skin and enjoy. Rain makes me feel real; alive. A moment of freedom.

holla@me


How Could An Angel Break My Heart - Toni Braxton; Secrets
How could an angel break my heart
Why didn't he catch my falling star
I wish I didn't wish so hard
Maybe I wished this love apart
How could an angel break my heart
Oh my soul is dying, it's crying
I'm trying to understand
Please help me

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: You've got the crowd on your side. The applause is deafening, and it's all for you.
Overview: You've spent enough time on intrigue -- and other people's problems. It's time for you to think about what's really important to you. Once you figure it out -- and it won't take long -- get busy making it happen.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)The deeper side of life, love and contentment -- that's all that will appeal to you now. No light-hearted chitchat and no surface conversation. Depth, intensity and meaningful exchanges are what you're after, and it's not like you haven't earned them. You've been handling other people's issues, putting up with their schemes and listening to their problems for as long as you can remember. Enough. Concentrate on what makes you feel good.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)There it is again -- the spotlight. You're more than used to it. It probably doesn't even burn you anymore. But today? Well, you'll be looking for a bit more privacy than the spotlight affords. Say, enough privacy to allow you and a certain someone to spend some much-needed quality time alone? That may be easier said than done, however. Especially if your fans are particularly fervent. And aren't they always?

holla@me


Sunday, April 10, 2005
Can't Believe - Staind; Break the Cycle
Respect, Respect what is found
Respect should abound
Respect everything that you leave
I can't believe
Can't believe
And I, I can't believe
I can't believe all the travesty
Surrounding me, I, I want to flee
I want to flee from everything
In front of me I
Can't believe
Never again, trusted in you
Fuck everything that you think I should be
I stand, never again, never again
Can't believe


FADE - Staind; Break the Cycle
I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
the thought is too
Much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That my life became `cause
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
So where were you
When all this I was going through
You never took the time to ask me
Just what you could do
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
That my life became `cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
But I never meant to fade away
I NEVER meant to fade away!
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface
I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
I'm tryin' to breathe

holla@me



ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Your appeal is undeniable. Others find you irresistible. Enjoy the attention.
Overview: 'No' has never been your favorite word -- especially when it comes to sensory pleasures. You're much better at finding delightful ways to enjoy nothing but the best -- and at finding appropriate company to enjoy it with. That goes double now.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)A higher-up is about to put their foot down and utter your least favorite word in response to one of your requests: no. Now, you're not used to hearing that word because, as hard as you work, the little that you ask for isn't usually turned down. After the shock has passed, and just before you get mad, think about it. Might there be a deeper reason you're being refused?
The following are the different kinds of biting:

The hidden bite
The swollen bite
The point
The line of points
The coral and the jewel
The line of jewels
The broken cloud
The biting of the boar

The biting, which is shown only by the excessive redness of the skin that is bitten, is called the 'hidden bite'.
When the skin is pressed down on both sides, it is called the 'swollen bite'.
When a small portion of the skin is bitten with two teeth only, it is called the 'point'.
When such small portions of the skin are bitten with all the teeth, it is called the 'line of points'.
The biting, which is done by bringing together the teeth and the lips, is called the 'coral and the jewel'. The lip is the coral, and the teeth the jewel.
When biting is done with all the teeth, it is called the 'line of jewels'.
The biting, which consists of unequal risings in a circle, and which comes from the space between the teeth, is called the 'broken cloud'. This is impressed on the breasts.The biting, which consists of many broad rows of marks near to one another, and with red intervals, is called the 'biting of a boar'. This is impressed on the breasts and the shoulders; and these two last modes of biting are peculiar to persons of intense passion.

holla@me


Saturday, April 09, 2005
Outside – Staind; Break the Cycle

And you, bring me to my knees
Again
All the times
When I could beg you please
- In vain
All the times
That I felt insecure
For you
And I leave
My burdens at the door

[Chorus]
But I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'Cause inside you're ugly
You're ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times
That I felt like this won't end
It's for you
And I taste
What I could never have
It was from you
All the times that I've cried
My intentions, full of pride
But I waste
More time than anyone

[Chorus]

All the times
That I've cried
All this wasted
It's all inside
And I feel
All this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie
Here in bed
All alone
I can't mend
But I feel
Tomorrow will be OK

[Chorus]
Cold - Crossfade
Looking back at me,
I see that I never really got it right,
I never stop to think of you.
I'm always wrapped up in things I can not win.

You are the antidote that gets me by,
Something strong like a drug that gets me high.

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so...

Cold to you, I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light,
You could see me stand on my own again,
Cause now I can see me.

You are the antidote that got me by,
Something strong like a drug that got me high.

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold


I never meant to be so cold


I never really wanted you to see,
The screwed up side of me that I keep,
Locked inside of me so deep,
It always seems to get to me,
I never really wanted you to go,
So many things you should have known,
I guess for me there's just no hope.
I never meant to be so cold.

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

What I really meant to say,
Is I'm sorry for the way, I am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold

holla@me


It still stings, and I fear it always will, that he thought to, and indeed did, invite other people (women) that he's met online to be with on his trip to Alabama. As a matter of fact, he didn't think about me going until after his plans with someone else was set. Me as an afterthought two days before he left. After it's too late to get any tickets or anything, he types to me that he wishes he thought about it before now. It doesn't ring true to me: Right after he found out, in earlyFebruary, that he had to go on his trip, he talked to one woman...it didn't pan out. Then he talked to another woman...bingo!
Then he tells me that I'm so fuckin' special and that I'm the cream of the crop of females...
*sniff-sniff*
It just doesn't ring true to me. He also tells me that he doesn't really feel comfortable telling me how he feels about other women. No fucking shit! He hasn't been doing any of the things we had said we would do: discuss everything; share everything; be open, honest and mindful of each others feelings. It isn't there. And I'm feeling numb.
I feel like I take so much care with him and give him so much support, he takes it for granted. He really doesn't know how it feels for me not to have his back. He's left me in the lurch too many times :
1.when the band broke up; he stopped caring about everything and everyone
2. finding a woman 1 year after my accident to "rescue", told her we were open when we weren't and told me if I didn't accept it, he'd do what he wanted anyway
3. 2 months ago, got involved with a woman online that needed "rescuing" again; was thinking about going to Canada to visit her
4. after my surgery, he spent the entire weekend online, chatting and then would get upset when I was cleaning something or getting something for myself
5. he was supposed to spend an evening with me, said he needed to check his messages and then started e-mailing this woman he JUST got an e-mail from and then, after giving her his Yahoo ID, started chatting with her for 2+ hours
6. right now; it continues - he's been telling all the women he's been talking to that he and I have this great relationship and that we're open and all the "wonderful" things he does for me. The thing is, he's not been doing what he's said he has with me at all. He's been using me and the wife status to look like this terrific, romantic, attentive man.
And the kicker is that he's told me his "schtick" is to talk to these women: be attentive - what is your favorite color? how do you take your coffee? who makes you laugh? and a bunch of other questions besides. (One time he gave me an example and I asked him if he knew my answer. The answer was no.)
He told me that all of this was because women are so used to being objectified and sexed up that they go crazy and become extremely attracted to him because he "just talks". That's his "schtick": he just talks...then they start getting all hot and bothered for him. And then of course, he tells these women how intune and ONE we are about sharing each other.
I brought it up to him 3 weeks ago; been talking to him about this and the points I've been making he says he knows what I'm saying and that it is true: he has been giving these women all this attention and consideration and indeed HAS been overlooking me and that he doesn't want to hurt my feelings anymore. He says he understands my trust issues with him and that he's gonna show me how much he supports and loves me. It sounds like bullshit to me because since I've brought all this up, he still hasn't shared anything and it was just 4/6 him telling me he doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about the women he's involved with. It sounds like bullshit because I have to keep bringing it up and it doesn't matter because he's thinking of the here and now: He's pushed all this to the back burner so that he could go on his trip this weekend with someone joining him to have fun with.
And I'm tired of saying anything. And I'm tired of caring so much about him when it doesn't seem to be reciprocated.
And I'm not upset with any of these women. I don't think that it's jealousy I'm feeling. The one woman that he did meet up with this weekend, I like and want to meet her. Apparently, she wants to meet me too. She told me that she felt like he was leaving the best part of himself behind and that me not being there would be peanut butter without the jelly.

I told Dude that actions speak louder than words. He said that he was going to show me through his actions. Well he hasn't been doing it with actions or words.
I think I'm going to take my own advice. He's obviously not listening to me, probably looking at me as a nag. So I'm going to stop talking and take better care of myself. Because if I don't do it for myself, who will for me? No one.

holla@me


Let It Flow - Toni Braxton; Secrets
First thing early Monday morning
I'm gonna pack my tears away
Got no cause to look back
I'm lookin' for me a better day
See the thing about love
Is that it's not enough
If the only thing it brings you is pain
There comes a time when we could all make a change, darlin'
Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right, Y'know
Just let go, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go
Don't nobody want no broke heart
And don't nobody want no two time losers (oh no)
Ain't nobody gonna love you like you are
If you take whatever he brings your way (oh no no no)
You see the thing of it
Is we deserve respect
But we can't demand respect without change
There comes a time when we must go our own way
Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right, Y'know
Just let go,let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go
Sometimes love it can work out right, right now
Sometimes you'll never know, you'll never ever gonna know it
But if it brings you pain in your life
Don't be afraid to let it go
Just let go
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Everything's gonna work out right, Y'know
Let go, and let it flow, let it flow, let it flow
Just let it go

holla@me


Friday, April 08, 2005
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: The answer may elude you briefly. But close your eyes. It'll come to you.
Overview: The stars are bringing about drastic changes via big events. In your case, expect them to shake things up vis-a-vis a secret that's recently been revealed. Hey, you knew it had to happen sooner or later.
Daily extended: Fasten your seatbelt and put your tray-table in the upright position. There's some serious turbulence en route, and bracing yourself before it happens is the only way to get through it. Even if you don't emerge from the experience totally unscathed, you'll definitely be a lot better off than some of your unprepared friends. You can try warning them, by the way, but don't expect them to take you seriously.
Leo
Daily extended Have you ever heard anything about eclipses? About how they're the most action-packed astrological event there is? Well if you haven't, you're about to receive a crash course right now. There's a solar eclipse due this afternoon, and it's been specially designed to simultaneously settle you down and stir you up -- in the realm of long-distance relationships. Got a passport? You'd better get it out.
He's gone. He hasn't told me anything and he's made up his mind what he wants and he's gone. And if I had said that I didn't think it was a good idea because of him not being open with me, he'd just resent me and probably do it anyway. I hope it was worth it. My heart; it hurts so much. The honesty hasn't been present and the trust isn't there anymore and I don't think he cares. It doesn't feel like he cares. No longer beating in tandem.
Scorpio
Daily extended You've been thinking about it for a while, and you're just about sure that this is what you want to do. You're ready to forget your job and abandon your routine. You're done, you're over it and you've had it with trying to pretend otherwise. But before you do anything rash, shouldn't you at least talk to an elder who's been there? Someone who can give you the benefit of experience? Yes, you should.

holla@me


Sunday, April 03, 2005
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Conversations will be illuminating. Talk to everyone you see.
Overview: If you resisted going overboard yesterday, congratulations -- and don't feel bad if you can't keep it going for one more day. Even more irresistible urges will be along to tempt you. Oh, heck -- you're only human.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)One of several scenarios is about to unfold, so prepare yourself. A) You may receive a call from someone you haven't heard from in forever, who'll beg you to just jump on a plane and visit. B) You'll have an argument with a dear one about money, and you know how you hate those. C) A casual encounter will result in a not-so-casual embrace. Better think about it before you make a move. Really.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're still not even considering what it might be like to be mellow -- and you've been up late for the past couple of nights, too. Well, you'd better have coffee on hand and be able to sneak in a nap this afternoon, because you won't be getting to bed any earlier this evening. In fact, what with your current energy and desire to live it up, you'll be able to convince a special someone that it's okay to stay up, too.
Pisces
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Money can't buy happiness -- or so they say. To most of us, however, it certainly can buy a rather pleasant evening, especially if we're trying to spoil a dear one who's been nothing but good to us. In your case, it's an intimate someone you want to do it up for, and nothing -- that's nothing -- is out of the question. Spend a bit more than you ordinarily might. Think of the memory you'll be creating.

holla@me


Saturday, April 02, 2005
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Don't even think about bowing out on that wonderful adventure a dear one has offered. You know you've earned this, and you know you want to go and play -- and it's about time. So why deny yourself? Get out there and have some fun. You can get back to making peace, restoring balance to troubled situations and negotiating treaties tomorrow. For tonight, promise to enjoy yourself.
Pisces
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Oh, go ahead and indulge yourself. Whatever you've been offered just happens to be exactly what you want -- and you more than deserve it! Why not have some fun doing exactly what you want to do? Okay, it might be a bit over the top, but so what? When was the last time you gave in and had a totally hedonistic evening? If it's been a while, seize this moment.
Scorpio
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Oh, my. A private matter you've been doing your best to keep under control has just shown the first signs of getting away from you. Does that mean you'll be totally unable to keep the situation where you want it to be? It might -- and that's not a comforting thought for you. But if you let go and let the universe drive the big car, you might be surprised at how well the whole thing turns out

holla@me


Disease – Matchbox Twenty; More Than You Think You Are
Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody’s heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go

You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go

No one’s ever turned you over
No one’s tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease

Feels like you’re making a mess
You’re hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn

Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, oh was magic
Beautiful girl
I can’t breathe

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I’m sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won’t take long till
I’m free of my disease

Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease

I think that I’m sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won’t take long till
I’m free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Disillusionment does not become you. Have a talk with your innocent side.
Overview: What you love best is the sensory pleasure that life inside these wonderful bodies often provides. As a result, you're not unfamiliar with the concept of overdoing it. Try to take it easy now, though -- just a little bit.

Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're not usually this thin-skinned, so even you may be surprised at how easily your feelings are hurt right now -- even though you know darned well that those comments weren't meant to be hurtful. Does this mean you'll automatically overreact, even if someone is just kidding? Not necessarily, but you might want to practice counting to ten -- especially if they could still be a bit cranky over yesterday's goings-on.

Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're supposed to be making plans with your friends. And keeping them, too. Unfortunately for them -- and for you, once they've had their say -- you've been on this 'dutiful kick,' as they're probably calling it. Well, they may let you slide for one more day, especially if they were less than kind to you yesterday. But you'd better make time for them soon. Like tonight. Remember, that's 'one more day' -- no promises about the evening.

holla@me





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I have tons-o-fun with Aeolion, my Rainbow Quiggle at http://www.neopets.com
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I adopted, accidentally transfomed OOhmm from a grundo to a chomby and purposely to a meerca at http://www.neopets.com