Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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Merry Christmas Eve Y'all!

I stand by a man that has known me for almost 14 years and who WANTS to stay with me and love me and give me everything I want.
I’m not taking that for granted.
It is knowledge that makes me know I am totally supporting and giving my love to the right man.
I want to give him everything too!
I adore him and worship him in ways anyone would want to come home to.
I know I can be a pain. I’m not perfect. Neither is he. We never said as much. But we have stated that through thick and thin, we want to be there for each other.
We started this long strange trip as co-workers, leading to friends for almost 3 years to lovers, husband & wife, parents and the friendship/lovers part is still going and growing. This is something that is going to last whatever form it lasts in. I love that! I feel secure in that. We may not be legally wed forever and ever but we are bound by the heart, mind and soul. There is nothing stronger than that.
I stand with my queen that has known me for 13 years who I love and who loves me. Our friendship started with her hitting me on the head that we were supposed to be friends. She was right and thank goodness she clunked me or I would have been lopsided for the rest of this life.
I have a few friends that have known me for 20+ years and still we talk. They have seen most all of my changes from childhood to adulthood as have I with them. It’s not quite like Dinner at an Italian Restaurant, but it is what it is.

Oh my children. Tearing up just thinking about them. They make me happy because they are such wonderful people. When they're adults, they will be so...unstoppable. I'm blessed. They chose to be our children. I just don't know what to say. They fill me with so much happiness and joy and even pride. Not because "I" did that, but because they are who they are. I'm proud to know them; lucky. I wish I could come up with the words that I feel when I look and think on them, but I don't know if any exist that describes all the good. I could sing it, but it wouldn't be words.


I need to remember what makes me happy. What I am thankful for. What matters. What has made my life better. It is important for me to do that because I've been down. It's the Holiday's and while there is no money to be had, there is still one thing that has a soul cost: Love. I love to love people. I love to serve and give my "lovers" what they want. I go through this life with that in my heart. My Dude gets worried for me because of it. He sees the aftermath and feels that I should close myself to the world. I don't want to be stingy with something I feel so full of.
That is my Christmas wish; for people to love each other.
I know sappy and stupid and whatever negative things can be said about it. But it's important. I think that is what is missing. Trying to fill that emptiness with material possessions. Does it work? Trying to find how much love you can get from a person before you have to shell it out too. You get a couple of freebies from the one's willing to give but they will never fill you. You have to feel it for yourself. You can learn or you can leech it away. But one thing I've learned about Love is that it never is completely empty; it can be filled. Seeing what you have. Seeing what is beautiful around you. Loving the feeling of water on your skin. Being alive. Noticing the good. It's out there. It's in you. It exists. Matter can neither be made nor destroyed. Same goes with Love.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 11:34