Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



Are You HOT or NOT?

Lyrics Search

ArtistTitle

ARCHIVES
04.2001 05.2001 06.2001 07.2001 08.2001 09.2001 10.2001 11.2001 12.2001 01.2002 03.2002 04.2002 05.2002 06.2002 07.2002 08.2002 09.2002 11.2002 01.2003 03.2003 04.2003 05.2003 08.2003 03.2004 04.2004 05.2004 07.2004 11.2004 12.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 04.2006 05.2006 10.2006 11.2006 01.2007 02.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 11.2007 12.2007 05.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008

it's funny, to me at least, when puttiing pen to paper, how all the ideas fly away. almost as if these thoughts and memories want to be kept cherished in the mind of the one who has them.
this isn't my first day writing; it won't be my last either i suspect. this is thought y first day realizing how critical of myself and others I don't wish to be any longer.
i know alot of my citicality stems from how i was raised. i had much responsibility and was hyper-criticized at the slightest error or perceived error. then the other side of that extreme is that when something "bad" was going to happen, i wasn't allowed to protect myself (hence a propensity i have of being very trusting and having to get "smashed" before realize i should run away from certain situations).
being in pain most of the time dampens my spirits as well. watching and knowing my dude busts his bum all the time is painful to me. seeing him discouraged. i feel alot that i am worthless to my family. this is because i don't/can't do as much as i used to. i don't feel i'm pulling my weight. baris tells me all the time that homeschooling the kids (yes, both of them starting `moop's 2nd grade) and raising them as i am is more than enough. but i'm like stone and his encouragement doesn't seep through. his words are like a puddle, i sit in it, seeing and feeling but not soaking it in.
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 07:24