Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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How is it to know that your husband, your father, is never coming home?
This morning, one of the agents (financial services; equities & insurance) where I worked, drove into the parking garage at work. He went to the top level of the garage. Then he jumped.
He had a wife and 2 young kids. I should say his wife and 2 young kids had a man.
What happened?
Were his last thoughts of them? ...of the obvious hopelessness he felt? ...of his sick, dying mother?
He was suffering from major clinical depression and had been hospitalized. This isn't a good time right now to be involved with the NYSE or life insurance either.
But, he couldn't find any light at the end of his tunnel. There was no motivation to live.
Last night, as he kissed his children and watched them to bed, were there thoughts of this morning’s event? Next to his wife, how did he sleep? This morning as he dressed and ate breakfast, did he formulate his plan?
Family was not enough.
Or was there feuding in the household? Terrible strife that simply sealed his resolve to end?
But now, Daddy isn't coming how. Nor more love or discipline or play. He will never advise or give guidance to them again.
Her partner/friend/lover/mate will never walk through the door of their new home. Never will his look tell her how his day was.

I knew him. Worked on his PC & done some reports for him. I met his wife and kids.

Has this made it any easier? Is everyone breathing a collective (and spiritual) sigh of relief?
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In such a negative situation, possibly positive for this man who lost his hope which brought about such a desperate act, I pray the Great Spirit will give an equal "positive" reaction. I hope the family he left will become stronger and more stable. I hope they don't know the desperation that he had.
I truly do.

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I have an appointment with a neurologist tomorrow. Maybe he can diagnose me. Maybe he will find out how I can finally live again pain free. ....maybe.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 22:43