Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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Ok, a few people have sent me notes and shamed me enough to put SOMETHING here!

Having our own home is a full-time job. Home-schooling is a full-time job. Getting my youngest to school and picking her up afterward is a full-time job. Caring for all of our pets is a full-time job. Being married is a full-time job. Talking to friends and family and going to events is a full-time job. Trying to get better is a full-time job.
I have no time for myself. I know it is a common complaint, but it is very true. It's somewhat boring I'm sure, but when I finally do have time to myself, the last thing I want to do is sit down and surf. I want to read. I want to improve myself. I want to plan for tomorrow. I may even indulge and watch some tube.

I'm slowly improving. I've been baking! It is so much fun to knead dough and make bread! That has improved my thoracic area greatly.
I've made 2 sourdough starters and keep them active and ready to go. I've made several SD boules. I've also made sandwich breads too. Now, I'm not planning on making all the bread for the household, but I do want to make "fancy" dinner breads and such. As for the sourdough...it will take about 1-2 months before the dough acquires that really yummy sour taste! We're excited. It's the simple things that keep me (us) happy.
I've been mowing the lawn. I've done it 3 times, yesterday being the last of this year. The first time I did it, it took me 3-1/2 hours! I mean sure, we're on almost 1/2 acre of property, but that is a long time. And I was so sore and my back was killin' me. It took me about 2 days to recoup. I know the difference between muscle soreness and back pain too. There were both, but my back...ouch! It's been getting better. Still, I'm not 100% and I don't know if that will ever happen. My lower back is the pits! Sitting, standing, lying down...all hurt after a while. And my neck too. But it's better than where I was at in March.
Little Man just started his 2nd grade curriculum yesterday. It's great! He's very happy and excited about it. So am I; I love teaching him.
Schmoopy loves school! She's sounding out words and reading. It's great to see. It's not quite the phonetic way of learning, but kind of.
The band my dude's in is getting air play in most of the states and in Canada...63 radio stations! I'm stoked!
We're gonna get a puppy in a few weeks. A dachshund-husky-German Shepard mix! hahaha...my good friend, who we're getting the GIRL pup, says they are the cutest. It's not a Jack Russell, but honestly, I don't think a JR would like our ratties.

Which reminds me.
One of the males died about a month ago, to testicular cancer. One of the mothers, Cleo, died 2 weeks ago of heart failure. The kids were so sad. We all were sad...so very sad that our beloveds were gone. But we explained to the kids that we believe in reincarnation...that they will be "recycled" and come back but we wouldn't know them probably. They both felt that made more sense than what Mema has told them (the whole Mormon/Christianity-thing) and we all were comforted. To see both of the kids crying because of death was good to see. Sad but good.
It is a necessary part of life and we feel something that they shouldn't be shielded from. My mother said to me, you have all those rats. The kids are going to be hurt every time one dies. I told her that I didn't feel the way that she did. When one of our family members die, it makes me sad, but it doesn't make me not want anymore pets! I may not like death, but it is the equal opposite to life...which I do like. It is inevitable. Why be scared of it? If I truly believe in reincarnation, nirvana, an eternal after-life, death of my physical body shouldn't faze me.

I want to impart that onto my children. They may not grow up to believe what I do, and that is up to them, but at least they won't be scared of it. I think it's irresponsible to do so. They are such good kids. I knew I'd love them and wanted to take care of them, but it's great! I really love the people they are. And they seem to love me. With all our faults and flaws, we love each other. I think by letting the kids see that we aren't infallible, that we too have personal flaws as they do and we accept it and try to make it better, it will prepare them for when they get out in the world as adults and look to find someone they can love that will love them. I'm not all about that Zen la-la shit either. Don't let any motherfucker walk over you; but know that we aren't perfect and that no one is.

Ok, nothing very in-depth here and certainly not polished...but it's something.
Two months since I've put down my thoughts....I'm a little rusty! I need to cut myself some slack.
'It's gettin' better all the time...'
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 13:30