Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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An old friend of mine, that hasn’t spoken to me for months (more than a year if one put together the different time spans) sent me an e-mail a couple weeks ago.
It threw me for a loop.
It confused me.
It made me wonder.
Should I do something?

I immediately sent a little note back. Not really thinking, just reacting.
Pleased. Thoughtful. Hopeful. Apologetic.

I was wishing that it was what I thought it was…
Someone reaching out, to be friends again.
I mean, I had reached out. But you really can’t be the one reaching, if the person feels that you wronged them.
And that makes sense.
So, I figured I’d wait and see…it’s not my decision.

I haven’t heard anything.
I didn’t really expect to.
Just fascinated and encouraged.
I guess I shouldn’t have been encouraged.

Oh well...what can ya do. I've had too many things to think about and do to dwell on it. If we get back to bein' friends then that will be swell.
Bren is such a GREAT learner. Gosh, it's so wonderful. And what makes it even better is that he is very similar to me in learning. So, I remember how it was for me and apply some of that to him. I mean, hey he's a different person than me and always will be.
Growing by leaps and bounds. It's frightening sometimes. What will their impressions of me be to them?
THAT matters to me.
I want my kids to talk to me.
I want them to be adults who talk to me.
I hope that I get that message and openess through to them.
I try and make sure that I do.
But, it could always be misconstrued as "gettin' into their business!"
Damn, I really, REALLY hope they don't get that vibe from me.

Guinevere's recital is this Saturday.
She's been a very demanding little woman as of late.
Yelling at Brendon.
Trying to yell or reprimand Mommy and Daddy.
We got to TaeKwonDo today.
Not 1-1/2 minutes in the doors,Guin spins around and says:
"MommyDaddy, I'm hungry...I mean I'm thirsty."
(Translation: The little girl that is waiting for HER brother while I'm waiting for MY brother has something to eat and drink and I want some too.)
We both said no, because we were going to save that money for snowballs after dinner.
Guin starts to whine and starts stamping her feet.
Guin starts to get louder with her whining.
Guin gives us accusing looks for not giving her what she wants.
I immediately took her out to the car.
I told her that if she was going to do that, that we would sit in the car and wait for the end of Bren's class.
Guin starts whining even louder, "NooooooooOOOooooOOOoooOOOOOOOOO."
I picked up the Barbie clothes that she had brought in and said, “Come on.”
(She has been doing this and I started last night with informing her that how she was behaving was unacceptable and that she would lose privileges if she didn’t stop. Actually, that was directed at both Brendon and Guinevere for various reasons: Bren only listens when he wants to and figures that we would never deny him treats when he doesn’t follow through with things we ask him to do after 2 minutes. Guin for what I mentioned above.
As a result of them not listening on Tuesday, we didn’t get snowballs after dinner. Thus, Wednesday was supposed to be the “make up” dessert.)
Guin picked up her Barbie and stomped.
Guin stomped and huffed as we walked to the car.
Guin stomped into the car.
Guin huffed as she sat in a ball in the corner, glowering at me.

I acted like I didn’t notice. (The whole reason we were in the car was because of her temper tantrum.)
What I DID notice was a horrible stench coming from the closed down Butcher Barn and Deli.
Dead, rotting meat.
A couple days ago, Master Park told the boys to follow him to the doors of the Butcher Barn. “Do you see those flies covering the windows? “Do you smell that? “Something that is in there is bad and needs to get cleaned out.”
Apparently, when the Butcher Barn was forced out of business, the owner just walked out when the lease was over.
Nice businessman…real responsible eh?
So, there was a nice smelly breeze for us to enjoy.

Daddy came in and kept us company.
Daddy left to get Bren signed up for his TaeKwonDo test. (LUCKY!!! Grrr…this back o’mine NEEDS to get better!!!)
Guin sits for about five minutes after Daddy leaves then says, “I’m going to be with Brendon.”
“No you aren’t,” says I. “You’re going to stay here with me.”
“WhyyyyyYYYYYYYyyyyyy,” Guin starts to whine.
“Why are we in this car Guinevere,” I asked.
Guin paused.
Guin then said in a flip tone (and of course I wouldn’t exaggerate that), “I dunno.”

There are few things in life that I DON’T tolerate from a child.
1. Treating me with less respect than I give (Which is what I expect from any person.)
2. Whining. (I just tune it out. It grates on my nerves.)
3. Manipulation of any kind, but especially by pretending not to know an answer to frustrate the person inquiring. (Again, any human doing this pisses me off.
4. I’m sure there are more things about kids that irritate me, but I can’t think of them right now.
Not all temper tantrums are bad. Some of them are because of frustration over a situation. A bad temper tantrum is because one EXPECTS something that is more than FREE! A person can be disappointed in not getting what they want, but to take it out on others isn’t cool. (A-, you must expound more on this thought)

So, I looked at her, sighed, and said, “Now you can’t have a snowball, Guin. “I think you DO know.”
Guin’s eyes teared up and she said, “I DO know, NOW Mommy.”
“Guinevere, what has changed in this 30 seconds that you know now? “What do you know?”
“We came to the car because of my temper tantrum.”
“Yes we did. “Thank you Guinevere for not lying anymore and telling the truth.”
“Mommy?” Guin asked as she slid up to me, giving me a kiss and hugging me.
“Yes, Guinevere.”
“Do I still get a snowball?”
“No Guinevere.”
Guin immediately withdrew from me and balled herself in a corner of the back seat glowering at me.

Later at home, Guin came to me and asked, “Mommy, tomorrow we’ll get snowballs after dinner?”
“Guinevere, I don’t know if we’re getting snowballs tomorrow,” I said, “but we ARE going to get snowballs tonight.”
Guinevere pouted and stalked away.
I felt so bad. But how she’s been treating everyone and expecting things and the temper tantrums and manipulation…constant manipulation (gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr)…we have to do something.

And this IS part of her personality.
I don’t mind it.
My job is to guide her and show her different outlets in her anger and desires.
My job may turn into having to chain her to her bed and redden her bottom at least once a day until said mal-behavior is “cured.” Haha! If only that worked. (There are few instances where that does work, however, having that as a reaction or the only means of discipline and punishment, doesn’t do SHIT! After putting a child to bed as punishment and then making it the last form of punishment (never discipline, because spanking is NOT discipline), is effective.
I could go on about this particular subject, but…well, I don’t want to. I know why I think it’s effective. I also rarely use it because it’s effective!)

Guin wanted to go to My-T-Fine while Daddy and Brendon got snowballs.
Daddy didn’t think it was a good idea.
I asked him, if she wanted to, why not?
He nodded and off we went.

When we got there, got out of the car and got up to the stand, Guinevere asked, “Can I get a snowball?”
Daddy got nervous…he thought the temper tantrum was on the way.
“No,” I simply stated.
Guin looked disappointed but she didn’t have a temper tantrum.
Perfect.
We each gave her a sample of our snowballs so she knew what they were like.
She didn’t have one of her own; which is exactly what she wanted.
She also didn’t try to “con” Bren into giving her his snowball.

I was so proud of her.
She learned something tonight.
I think she did.
I hope she did.

Bear told me I did a good job.
Ain’t he sweet!?

And today is another day!
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 00:43