Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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I've gotten away from how I normally write.
I've noticed that some of what I've written about what's going on in my life is shit.
I've become "pop."
I'm writing to an audience instead of to my self and it looks bad.

I haven't gotten into myself...how situations affect me. (Not everything that happens to me effects me. Somethings just happen. I might not like them, or I do…but it’s more like, “Oh, okay that happened. Cool/That sucks. I have other things to think about right now.”)
It’s not because I’m afraid; is it?
Am I really worried about what people think about me?
Sometimes.
But the people that I value their opinion of *me (how I am…bare), are few.

I DO see that I can not continue putting this superficial gloss on my thoughts, feelings and observations.
It makes me fake and feel fake.

I like to look back on my journal and it take me back to Exactly how I felt and what I thought at the time.
Not just a brief description of the event.

That is important.
That is me.
REAL;
For better or worse.

I want to start putting something in about everything that’s going in my life. Not when I pick my toes with my teeth or anything like that. Just put stuff in about this, that and THEN get to the pith (definition: 1 a : a usually continuous central strand of spongy tissue in the stems of most vascular plants that probably functions chiefly in storage b : any of various loose spongy plant tissues that resemble true pith c : the soft or spongy interior of a part of the body
2 a : the essential part : CORE b : substantial quality (as of meaning)
3 : IMPORTANCE) of other things that catch my interest.

I owe that much to me.
It’ll be fun to get back to that again.

*thinking* huh! Fresh, yet typical observations of my self.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 23:51