Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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I found these and thought that I'm ahead of the game! This is exactly how I've been handling the situation with a family member and oddly enough, I've been getting burned for it because all the people that want everything "the way it was" are telling me that I'm holding a grudge because I won't forget (and have not yet recieved an apology of any sort) nor will I trust that it won't happen again (being that I STILL haven't gotten an apology, she won't admit guilt...shame).

1. Forgiveness is not about glossing over wrongs. "Forgiveness [begins with] taking seriously the awfulness of what has happened when you are treated unfairly. Forgiveness is not pretending that things are other than the way they are." - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

2. Forgiveness is not amnesia. "Forgiveness does not equal forgetting. It is about healing the memory of the harm, not erasing it." - Dr. Ken Hart The offense will still be part of your history, but it does not have to dominate your life.

3. Forgiveness is not pardoning, condoning, or excusing: forgiveness does not remove consequences. Pope John Paul II forgave his intended assassin in a face-to-face encounter. The individual remains in prison where he can do no further harm.

4. Forgiveness does not have to include reconciliation; forgiveness is not the same as trusting. The injured party can forgive an offender even though the offender may never (or for safety sake, must never) be a part of his or her life in the future. Even if you change, the other person may not. Each person has a free will.

I've come to forgive the person of the situations. My sis even wants everything to be the way it was. Of course she does! I mean, who wouldn't want to steal, lie, and treat someone (or in my case, My husband, son, daughter, as well as myself) rudely and without consideration, but still treated with love? What I'm having a problem processing right now is the fact that she won't apologize and has added insult to injury by using guilt to cut me off from mutual friends. It doesn't matter, the family I'm talking about wants things the way they were and there is no way that I'm going to allow my son and daughter to be stolen from in their own home, nor my husband accosted and then called a liar. As for me, I've put up with it for years and finally did something, to protect my family.
Man, I've talked about this enough. I just need to heal as far as her not admitting any wrong doing. What bothers me is that I'm sure we're going to end up as two sisters that are fighting and no one knows why. I don't care if no one knows...for her, she's been playing the "victim" card...she will continue and that is frustrating. A person with that personality type...they'll do anything to make it seem like they've done nothing. Even going to the extent of "cutting-off" a person that has confronted them in their "fuckedupedness."
I can't get frustrated by it. I just have to accept that she's always been this way. She's done this to strangers and people she says she loves, why would it be any different for me, her sister? I'm just as much as a threat. Even more so, because I've known her since birth...I KNOW that she's always been this way.
What brought this on was that she DID call on G-'s birthday, but when B- answered the phone...
It doesn't matter really. Not in the grand-scheme of things.
What does matter is that my Mother, who just happens to be a person that feels I need to let my sister treat me and my family the way she does, gave her my new phone number after I was very specific that I am very capable of giving out my own phone number. So while sissie's disrespect has opened the old wound, Mother's disregard for me and my household has really hurt me. And yes, I'm angry.
I'm taking some time to think, but there will have to be a confrontation. Damn it.
It's a shame.
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 09:55