Girl With The Curls |
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Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire
__One Percent - 1%__
Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never. 
Are You HOT or NOT?  
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Thursday, June 28, 2001
I now understand and will never be offended when someone says: It's been done before.
The Dreaming; ref - 6/29/01 creation: "Take 2: The Dreaming, Part Deux" I hope that this person would not be offended if I typed, in his regard: Great minds think alike. i'm so conceited, HA! holla@me
I wish I had the time to type something about my thoughts or life, a few times a day...or everyday, for that matter. I have so many thoughts that run through my mind that I wish I had a tape recorder. It's usually something I want to look into a little bit...nothin' profound to anyone except my dude. I think he likes my endless chatter. He knew I was like this from the beginning. Well...
maybe he's deaf. But instead, I have to make time. At work, I have no time. At home, I am going hither and yon. Also, I like to spend more time on my feet and staying active with my folk. Then again...our computer chair is extremely uncomfortable. I'm just busy and already spend like 6-1/2hrs infront of one at work, I don't WANT to get on at home. (I guess that's my final answer *thinkin, silly girl*) I keep pen and paper handy all the time. And so, writing on paper doesn't get transfered to `puter...this is for me, first a foremost, after all. It is just an added thrill that "someone" might read this and know I'm a genius. *cough* holla@me Wednesday, June 27, 2001
Wrestling & Marriage: Both are full contact sports and require a ring.
Saw that on a bumpersticker today. Simple but fairly true *smile* tired...exhausted actually. I've spent too much time on this PC and not enough concentrating on myself...my needs. It's quiet and instead of watching the season finale of QAF (my fuckin' favorite show!), I think I should relax with my anthology of short fiction stories and trail off to sleep....mmmmm sleep. Been so long since I've gotten a good sleep it's pitiful. But I gotta try, I'm starting to lose focus of tasks at hand; not too good. I like to be efficient. And now I'm just typing rambling thoughts...yet again. g`Night. holla@me Tuesday, June 26, 2001
"You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." - Revelation 3:17
One thing I've noticed about having lovely pets is that they are always child-like. I love that! They are so beautiful and sweet and caring. I know that I'm their human and all, but it is great to wake-up and my Bagheera is sleeping on my back. Or if I lay down on the floor I know that Tigger is going to come over and rest his head on my shoulder. And Shaka, when sitting on the window sill, will look at me and jump into my arms to put his front paws around my neck, "hugging" me. That is love. And I love to be loved. I took all of them to the vet to get their checkups and vaccinations and check T's ears and fur (he has Dal crud...uggh!) and make sure that Shaka's healing up all right (he's getting better) and to make sure that Bagheera, with his seizures and the fact that he had a high urate crystal content causing him to be blocked twice in his 6 yr existence (3 times a charm, if it happens again, he won't survive *deep frown*), he's doin' fine, and he is! So $169 (it really should have been $350, thank you my wonderful animal doctors for not charging for visits), medications for T- and S-, purchase Bagheera's "special" food from the vet (it's prescription) that he will have to be on for life (and of course S eats...you know $38 for a 20lb bag) and buy some Nutro brand dog food (no Purina for my T!) and finally on the way home! I love takin' care of my babies. Why else do we have them ya know? We have some family members that make fun of us because we care for our pets and treat them with the same respect we would our family. One fact they seem to fail to remember is THEY ARE FAMILY, to us. If they get sick and treatment is too expensive, put them to sleep, one says. If they aren't perfectly 100% good 200% of the time, get rid of them, the other says. It's just two people, but that's enough. We don't make fun of them or tell them what to do with their family and money. I had to joke with them. When Kamuran (B-'s dad) said, "Just put IT to sleep," when Bagheera was in an emergency animal hospital for being blocked, I told him that next time he got very ill, we'd just put him down! And Dick (B-'s step-dad), I gently reminded him of the $1400 that he and Miki (B-'s mom) spent on Misty (Mom's cat) when he told me that spending $600 and prayers for my baby was excessive on a cat! If we weren't willing to spend the money and effort and love to maintain health and happiness on our beautiful pets, then we shouldn't fuckin' have them. And that is true for any pet owner. Makes sense, why keep an animal in your home that you don't want to take care of? It's simple. Another thing I've noticed is that my human babies are growing rapidly. They will eventually not look at me with the same love and adoration that they do now. It's human growth. It's how it is. I will no longer be the center of their universe; they will not care about my opinions. I don't think that is a sad thing. But I love the faith of a child. So as they grow and their sphere expands and I become a smaller figure in the grand scheme of things, I'll have my pets! They will always look at me with that faith and love of children. They expect that I will feed them, and pet them and get them fixed if they become broken, because I have done nothing but that since they've entered my home and love. Yeah, they'll die...don't we all. I don't think that I would be able to "swear off" having any other animals just because they die. Why have kids? Why make friends? Why talk to family? They die! Oh well...it happens. I had someone say to me: No one's getting out of here alive...that is so true. It's yet another part of life. And that's not scary either, not to me. `Course I'm not gonna do anything to hasten my or any other person's demise either! No one will be able to replace our Bagheera (6yrs), Shaka (2-1/2yrs) and Tigger (1-1/2yrs). Their personalities and eccentricities are unique unto themselves and I love them so much. holla@me Wednesday, June 20, 2001
holla@me Tuesday, June 19, 2001
pretty sad. i've been so busy with life that i haven't had any time for myself to sit down and upkeep my blog. that sucks...then again, it seems to be typical of the summer. the only reason why i have any time to do this now is `cause the kiddies are spendin' the night at my folks and my dude has gone to band practice. i need some peace to myself right now though. i've been feeling the need to withdrawl from my family. it's bad i know but it is true. i have them, my kids and dude, around me all the time. i rarely get some alone time. and i need that, or i start feeling stifled and grumpy. i think i'm gonna have a Parrot Bay and pineapple juice and come back...maybe my mood will be a little freer to actually express how wonderful the past 2 weeks have been without thinking about how frustrating it's been to hear "mommy" about 50 times an hour. haha, maybe i need sleep. maybe i need to get fucked! that's another thing...
oh, never mind holla@me Wednesday, June 06, 2001
I’ve been tired and ill with a funky back and a bad attitude. I’m a little irritable and a lot in pain and just want to sleep and eat and sleep and read. I don’t want to use my eyes though; nor my legs or arms or mouth or tongue or brain or esophagus or stomach. Doesn’t leave much does it. I wouldn’t mind pissin’ or shittin’ but I don’t want to get up and go to do the deed. And here I am, at work. Feeling like this because I know that I’m needed but I don’t need to be here.
I’ve been thinking about going back to school too. Laughable. I wish to go, we can make funds so that I can go. I certainly can find the time, I don’t want to have to take those fuckin’ basic courses that were so similar to high school. I guess that is my fault for going to a college preparatory school. Getting a few college credits that since have been rescinded because the school declined after I attended. It would figure that going to Accelerated classes for English, Creative Writing, Shakespeare and Psychology would mean nothing anymore. Oh well. Price one pays for being fed up with the school environment and went into the U.S. Air Force instead of immediately going to college. I’ll have to suck it up and take the courses so’s I can get where I wanna go. I’m not enjoying the ass-end of financial planning. I’m doing all this work and my partner is the “spokesperson.” Translation: anything that I make a mistake on is my fault and anything that he makes a mistake on is my fault because I’m not there when he talks to clients. Who cares? I sure don’t. I just want to be stimulated in the career path I choose. I’m not right now. Really haven’t ever and I’m feeling the frustration of it. I need to do something that there will always be research. Something that I will be challenged and made to use my mind every time I delve into it or simply go to work in a fulfilling vocation. It’ll happen. I was just hoping to be one of those people who were “found.” *laughing at myself* Yeah, right, what a dream. holla@me |
I got my hairs cut and then colored it. I think it turned out well. My dude diggs it. Ahh...a red head...I've always wanted to be auburn, natural or not! I started my weight training again too. Lovin' it. When family gets into town and the grillin' starts...it's hard to keep up the routine. Which wouldn't be bad if my families would play games like volleyball, baseball or basketball...no one does, relaxing is sittin' down and stuffin' yer face! I guess I could just get off my ass and get motivated. HEY! I play tag with the kids and stuff! We have a blast! I don't look 'too' bad right now...I just wanna look like Gabrielle Reece!
