Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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TODAY'S WORD IS: QUIXOTIC (adjective)

Pronounced: kwik-'sah-tik

Meaning: Naively idealistic; erratic, unpredictable.

This is a word in flux; its meaning is changing from "naively
idealistic" to "erratic, unpredictable." The former meaning is used
considerably less often than the latter today.

"Quixotic" is a commonization (conversion of a proper noun to a common
one) from the English pronunciation of Quixote (kwik-sot), "a naive
visionary," after Don Quixote (kee-'ho-tee), hero of the Spanish epic
novel by Miguel de Cervantes.

This word describes me 150% of the time...actually I'm always in this frame of mind or action and unless you know me well, I'll sound like a FLAKE! But I'm not. I'm just me. Luckily, I have wonderful friends and the family that my dude and I made for ourselves that understand that sometimes I go off on a apparent tangent, but it's all part of an intricate web of a previous conversation that took place about 5 years ago or 15 minutes ago. *grin* Then I have all these other emotional factors that tie into my already erratic thought process. Mind you, I am extremely logical. I just have so many thoughts and perceptions and feelings and interests going through my head all the time, I have to talk about it.
I know I say constantly that I'm lucky. I am and I know I am. There are so many lonely individuals that don't have people or outlets to sound-off to as well has have the resources or way to express themselves that they believe no one cares or wants them. I might have been one of those confused persons, but my friends "found" me. I didn't always reach out to people because of how many times I had been hurt by my family and strangers that called themselves friends. I'm lucky because these people who became my dude and my bestest friend and my gang and my friends saw something in me that they felt was special, even when I didn't see something special in myself. I'm blessed. I'm rich. and I'm spoiled in the love and caring that not everyone has. I want to share that with people. I want to give the love and friendship that constantly gets filled with the wonderful people that are in my life.
I think that is what makes it easier to accept that my original family have their things going on. They are human beings and they do what feels good to them instead of also paying attention to others that have always been there for them. I don't have to hang with them. I love them though, because they did shape my existence and made me understand human nature better than any book or lecture could ever. But, lucky for me, they are not the only one's that have shaped my sphere. Lucky for me I was able to meet and make my own family of friends that give what I need.
I know, I sound redundant and I'm probably repeating what I've typed just 5 lines ago. But it's important to me to understand that I am a definite positive person still processing what happened. How did I turn out so different from what I came from? I believe that personalities are complete from inception (fermentation of the egg). I understand that environment also shapes a personality. But how my brother and sister are and how they processed the info that was thrust upon all of us, and some things that were exclusive of us individually, is a mystery to me. I want to understand. I need to understand. Help me understand.
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 10:14