Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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I think that Art Alexakis and I have a lot in common if he's being serious about that song Father of Mine. I'm with him completely on that. And being a kid growing up in Cali at the time...probably like quite a few, but...

I'm gonna put my experience in { }...

Father of Mine, by Everclear

father of mine
tell where have you been
you know i just closed my eyes
and the world disappeared
father of mine
take me back to the day
when i was still your golden {child} boy
back before you went away

i remember blue skies
walking the block
i loved it when you held me high
i loved to hear you talk
you would take me to the movies
you would take me to the beach {and Marine World}
you would take me to a place in time
that is so hard to reach

father of mine
tell me where did you go
you had the world inside your hand
but you did not seem to know
father of mine
tell me what do you see
when you look back at your wasted life
and you don't see me

i was {four} ten years old
doing all that i could
wasn't easy for me
to be a scared {mixed-girl} white boy
in a {white} neighborhood

daddy gave me a name
my dad he gave me a name
then he walked away
daddy gave me a name
then he walked away
my dad he gave me a name

father of mine
tell me where have you been
i just closed my eyes
and the world disappeared
father of mine
tell me how do you sleep
with the children you abandoned
and {my mom} the wife i saw you beat

i will never be safe
i will never be sane
i will always be weird inside
i will always be lame
now i am a grown {woman} man
with {children} a child of my own
and i swear i'm not gonna let {them} her know
all the pain i have known

then he walked away
daddy gave me a name
then he walked away
my dad he gave me a name
then he walked away
daddy gave me a name
then he walked away
my dad he gave me a name

then he walked away

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
I'm glad my bio dad walked away. The only thing I'll never let my kids experience the "fucked-up" visions that I was given. I am a firm believer that a parent isn't a parent just because they contributed in creation...only if they strove to do their best and somewhat succeeded in molding a productive member of society. I do think I'm productive, despite what I had to go through, but my siblings are a different story...finally starting to make POSITIVE changes (i truly do hope) in their lives. Not that I'm better or look at myself as such. Ha, what does it matter? YOU had to be there to know what I'm talkin' about anyway.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 15:32