Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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I know every year as my birthday and Mother’s Day passes, we are going to gear up for the summer. It happens like clock-work. This is when it is extremely busy with no end in sight until New Year’s. It’s good I guess. It’s also exhausting, but in a good way. I like being busy.

This weekend, Memorial Day weekend…we have several events.
Baris’ sis and hubby, Julide and Herm are coming into town Friday from a tour in Turkey. B- and J- are Turkish (yeah they’ve been and lived in Turkey before, but they were kids), and so J- is bringin’ some stuff back. She always bears gifts. She is such a lovely person; one of those people that broke free from her insecurity and complacency and dared to think that she was better than her fucked-up first husband told her. She told me just recently that she was old…older than her actual age and getting older still because she was so unhappy and thought that she deserved what her life had become. Since meeting and marrying H- (which we haven’t met yet, they live in Alaska…you know, where ever Uncle Sam tells them to reside), she feels, looks, acts and IS younger than when I met her. I always felt something was wrong when I first met J-…she was washed-out looking, waifish and pale. I told B- something was wrong, that I didn’t “sense” that was her. He just shrugged; there is a 4-1/2yr difference and they weren’t close growing up (there’s a reason for that, as with everything that makes people tick). They are closer now and he does see a big change in her. She’s done a complete 180 degree change and it is beautiful to see. I love her so much…I truly cherish her. They won’t be bringing Victoria, our beautiful, intelligent niece (J- and her ex.’s child)…too bad, I miss her. We haven’t seen her in about 2 years when we took a trip down the ocean with J- and V-. It was great to see the kids playing and stuff together. We are supposed to go to dinner with them as H- is only gonna be in town for a night…Damn Uncle Sam!

Next, and one of my favorites, is going to Steve‘s house for the all day Saturday M. Day party and gettin’ together with “my gang.” It’s great, `cause I miss my gang so much, but that is part of growing up and having to process life. My gang consists of Steve (and his girlfriend Jen), Tony (and his new wife Sally and new baby Bernie *smile *), Tom (and his new wife Holly), Mike (and his Laura, wife of a couple years and her daughter and their little one), and Fritz (I gotta call him by his name because he’s FRITZ!, and his girlfriend Lorainna) and S-s’ sisters and Ma (and yeah, I call her Ma) and my clan. When I first got into “the gang”, I was the only chick and also the only one with a serious significant other. I’m considered ‘one of the guys’ and join in the male stuff…except pissin’ for distance. And these men are real men…they aren’t afraid to be themselves, they don’t put on airs to make themselves seem “manly.” I’m proud and think myself very lucky to be part of “the gang.” I love every one of my friends dearly and there is nuthin’ I wouldn’t do for them, but I always feel that they do more for me than I could ever.
When we get together, we all agree to disagree. It’s the best thing. We all come from different backgrounds, different walks of life and different worldly perceptions. We don’t always get along. We sometimes tell each other to fuck-off, but that is only the emotional part. It’s cool. Not too many people roll that way. They think that you have to agree or that if you tell someone something they don’t wanna hear that it’s over…no more friendship. I think that’s the difference between men and women…nah, it’s probably just the difference between security and insecurity. I’m secure that my gang, all my friends for that matter (anyone who doesn’t think this way is just an acquaintance), will always be there for me at any time whenever I need them. They always have, just as they know the same for me.

We may get a break on Sunday…but who knows, Kamuran, B- & J-‘s Dad, and step-mom (both Turkish), might have a gathering so the Turkish side of the family will be able to see J-. If so, I’ll definitely look forward to that! K- and I didn’t always get along. He thought that B- made a mistake marrying an American woman…especially one that is “a sharp/tough cookie” like me that “speaks her opinion too much” (quotes per K-‘s words…lovely right? *grin *). So it was a little rocky at first. K- thought that he needed to teach me how to serve and treat a man to which I had to be very vocal that if it was “my” man…he’d be treated as a king as long as he remembered who was queen. He got the picture and he and I are as thick as thieves. He finally understands that I don’t and never have looked at Turkish people or any people as “dumb foreigners.” I think that is a shitty mentality and would prevent me from learning about their heritage and their customs. And I wouldn’t have the opportunity to learn how to make delicious Turkish food! Yummmm….kofte, pilav, stuffed grape leaves (I’m drawing a blank at the Turk word for it, haha)…mmmmm.

Monday, I’m not looking forward to as much as I wish. B- & J-‘s Mom, Miki, and step-dad (both American) will have a family “party.” It’s not a party…it’s a “scam” (using B-s word). We are being lured over there based on J-‘s being in town. I know I sound like a miffed daughter-in-law, but B- & J-‘s Mom is religious. I don’t have a problem with that…I don’t care what religion anyone is, but they will not let anyone drink alcoholic or caffeinated beverages on their property. Hell, they throw a fit if you try to order either drink when going out to a restaurant with them! It’s not that we can’t go for a few hours without a Coke or a beer, it’s that they don’t give you a choice…no options…and then they DARE to call it a party of any kind! And the worst part is that Dick (no joke, that is his name and he is aptly named) burns the food he “cooks” on the grill. I don’t mean just a little crispy or well done, I’m talkin’ about chicken, burned BLACK on both sides and the insides RAW! The fact that all sides of all the chicken are burned means that he consciously and purposely turned the chicken and charred it…It looks like fuckin’ charcoal! And they serve it! It is totally inedible, but damned if they don’t put that shit on the table and expect folks to dig in. And they call it a party. Any party that you leave thirsty, hungry and didn’t do nuthin’ but sit around lookin’ for something to do is NOT a party. It’s called penance. No family came to the Holiday “party” they had last year. Miki calls the folks from their church her “family,” yeah, they showed. So we’ll see. B- is already thinkin’ about taking some beer and Coke and askin’ their next-door neighbors if we can use their picnic table! hahaha…that will be funny!

That’s just this weekend…I’ve checked the calendar and there is no end insight for at least 2 months! Guin’s b-day and Nicole’s graduating high-school, a REAL family party in VA…woo-hoo, is on the same day 6/2. And of course, we have to have a party for Guin so that our families can celebrate together. *sigh * That means a lot of cleaning and everything else. Busy! And B- and I wonder why the years go by so fast.

I wouldn’t have it any other way though. I love seeing and partying and talking and enjoying my family and friends. Being able to know what’s going on in their lives and see if there’s anything that they need and vice versa. I think that is why I consider myself spoiled: I really have a lot of friends and family that care about me as much as I care about them. That gives one a lot of security. It also gives one a sense of contentment. I always try to find other people that share in my desire to meet and explore. There are plenty of folks out there like that…it just takes time to find. Anyway, I can’t wait to “meet” YOU. Later.
holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 12:53