Observations of a Quixotic Femme Noire __One Percent - 1%__ Warrior-woman; a Valkyrie. I'll always be yours. Always...and never.



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Been thinkin`…

People that surf the net finding folks websites and reading what they have put into prose… people like me…are voyeurs. We amass information and become involved with what people have “made” themselves to be, but we have no desire to reach out and touch that person. We know people without “knowing” them.

I think that is a shame.

I have a few friends that are online.
I care about them as much as I care about my “real” friends…you know, the one’s that you can see day to day if you want but most likely don’t because you take for granted that they will always be close.

I know that these people online, who I may or may not have pictures of; who send little e-mails to say hi; who I send little e-cards and e-mails to, letting them know I care, have lives besides the internet. I don’t read their words and think that some ghost or phantom is typing these words. I know that they are taking time out of their busy schedules. At least that is what I assume because that is what I do. We all know what happens when one assumes though.

Two of my friends say that they consider me a good “online” friend. One of them has come out and told me that I don’t seem real because we have never physically met or spoken on the phone. Another has said that online isn’t real thereby stating the same thing: I don’t exist beyond the long fiber-optic cords that have connected us. I’m not real further than the screen that shows my thoughts and jokes and dreams and goals as well as empathy about THEIR concerns.

I look at the internet as a means of meeting and acquainting myself with people I would normally never meet beyond my sphere of existence. Smart people, psychotic people, sensual people, nice people, mean people, caring people, generous people, fat people, gross people, simple people, sexual people, athletic people, funny people, etc. the list continues every time I am able to get online and chat with a person. I don’t have to be tied to everyone I meet but, as anyone in “real life”, I expect my friendship to be reciprocated. No one wants to be perceived as unreal, almost like a master skillfully manipulating an animated puppet.

NO! I am real. I have real concerns. I have real thoughts and desires. I have real things going on in my life. I have kids, a partner, 2 cats and a dog that depend and rely on me to be alive and functioning daily. I have friends and family that are here in MY “real life” that I take for granted AND vice versa. Is this a new concept? I don’t think so. I think this is part of the fallout of the internet. Impersonal personability (yes, I made up a word).

We’ve all made mistakes online…come on be honest. You can do one of two things: learn from it, laugh about it and be careful. Or screw the people that you know that are honest and genuine. Maybe my “friends” have a problem thinking of folks online as real because they don’t feel real. Maybe online is just an alter-ego; acting the way one wishes one could in real life.

To that I say: FUCK YOU PEOPLE!!! You have issues and I’m better off without you than with you. If you can’t even be honest that you do this, than oh well, sorry for ya, and have a good “real life.”

Maybe I have some issues too. I look for people that are genuine and are looking to make a connection. I am an extrovert to almost extreme and proud of it. I love to go to parties and meet new people. I love to get into intellectual conversations with people. Funny how few people like this I have met online…not a person that acts like me, but a person that can get into a philosophical discussion and enjoy it. I must not be looking in the right place. Or I’m spending too much time and effort on those “friends” who can’t look past their noses and that’s why I’m not “real” to them.

Maybe it’s just time for me to unplug.

holla@me posted by MobiusRazor at 14:02