Girl With The Curls

2008-11-25T16:13:00.000-05:00

D~,
How are you? Did you get my text about going to Ladies Tea on 7Dec? I miss you much and hope to see you before this year is out.

I had to share because it is just incredible how galling this man I've been attached to can be! G wants to spend the night at a friends house this coming Friday. I told her it's her fathers weekend so she'd have to ask him if it's all right. She calls and asks, he wants to talk to me.
Him murmuring and static on the phone: ...kids on Thanksgiving?
Me: sorry, what?
Him: Do you have plans on Thanksgiving?
Me: Yes, dinner at my folks.
Me: you want the kids for Thanksgiving?"
Him chuckling: Yeah! it is my year to have the kids.
Me: Oh, I didn't know you were going to want them. Strange you're telling me this the week of Thanksgiving.
Him: Well if you have plans...
Me: No, it's your year for the holidays. I don't want to deny you any privileges.
Him: Let me call you back.
While I'm waiting for him, G's been in the room the whole time. I asked her if her father told them they'd be with him for Thanksgiving. She says no.
He calls back.
Me: You haven't taken them for any other of your scheduled holidays this year. So, absolutely have the kids for the holiday.
Him: You already have plans so let's just keep them as it is.
Me: It's ok. This is your year.
Him: No, you keep your plans.
Me: Oh, ok.
The rest was just blahblah filler.
G heard it all. She kept giving me hugs and telling me she loved me afterward. Now that I understand this game, I've adapted and know I have to let the kids see more of the real instead of shielding them from it.

I took your advice too and told the kids that as they're off during Winter Holiday, they should go and spend it with their dad.
S said, "But you'll be all alone that week!"
G looked at me cheekily and said, "you're trying to get rid of us!"
It's just those sort of comments that make me realise, no matter what B wants to think, he's not at all slick. The kids do know what side their bread is buttered. I was just a too-good motherwife training the kids to respect a delinquent dad. It's better that they see him for what he is by his actions and deeds than anything I could ever enlighten them about him.

It feels good to tell a story. It relieves the stress. I've quit cigarettes again too. I do like a couple on occasion but my body hates me for it.
I'm off work until Black Friday and will be out and about grocery shopping but I have to conserve: $325 to change the separation agreement and $710 for the actual divorce. I'm thinking of calling in some favours to my friends! haha Of course, B is true to character; dragging this out and not offering a dime to finish this. I don't see why I should ask, he already owes me $4000 - weak a$MoFo... *wink*

Love you Woman,
--
A~

Reply

Hey Girl:

1.

Ladies’ Tea – Definitely!!!!
2.

She is of the age that she THINKS she knows everything, and she needs to bounce (just a little bit).

He’s just being a guy…going through that phase where you (and others) can see him for the emotional / fatherly slacker he is.

Do not feel guilty about her witnessing this. It is the truth and she is old enough to know the truth. His actions speak volumes…there’s nothing else you need to say. G has looked behind the curtain…

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s all so familiar.

Good luck on that 4 Grand. L

………………………………………………………

Since he’s not spending any time with you and the kids, I will assume that YMI is wildly popular now and will be nominated for a Grammy.

“Measure of a Boy” …or is that Man?

(Excuse) Song of the Year

Rock On!!!

2008-10-17T11:36:00.001-04:00

Ok, maybe I took it a bit too literal...
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

Chilled type day...listening to CD's (Laura Love rocks & YOU should listen to her)...left to pick up girl early cos I had something I had to do - swing at the park! I love to swing. I need to find a park that has really tall swings though. The one's around my way are kinda short so you can't get as high as I'd like. I jumped off of my swing twice - oh such fun for me. I've been accused of bein' a kid before.

Last jump and I walk briskly across the field to wait under a tree. It's windy and while everyone I come across comments on the lovely weather, I can't help but feel the cold coming and I can't stand it. Being under the tree, I feel the shade invade my body and bring a chill that tries to creep into my bones...NO! You can't come in here, this is my only sanctuary! I need warmth, so I walk into the sun to be noticed by the crossing guard who's just arrived. I walk over to wait for my girl and we chit-chat. Eyes from cars, slow drive-bys, tapping of the horns, couple guys tryin' to holla - *yawn* - I've still not figured out if a smart-assed smirk or just no expression at all would be appropriate. I see no point in a smile at all; it'll be taken wrong and as if I'm getting an ego-boost from it. Put a paper bag over my head already!

As my daughter is crossing the street, the crossing guard says, "You spit her right out A~." Of course, this is NOT the first time anybody has told me this however I decided to play, "Umm, a little more effort was required than just spit her out." He didn't quite know what to say. He stood and repeated what he said and I stated, "I can tell you from being there, I had to do quite a bit more work than spit to have her."

Then he realised I was joking. Then he realized that the joke was for him and then on him. We both had a laugh and he told me that I should go home. heehee

"Yes sir," I grinned as I turned on my heel and walked up the walkway. I could hear him still laughing...

2008-10-17T10:53:00.001-04:00

October 16, 2008 - Thursday

Flexibility
Current mood: hyper
Category: Life

I wrote this 7 Oct whilst at work on a scrap of receipt papier...
Today at work, I realised Y I M. Y I do spread that hhjjs I was so cynically thinkin' about last night. People look so unhappy + old + weary. It makes me sad to see. It's like an apple a day keepin' the doctor away. I try to keep upbeat + optimistic because I know some of the secrets - it keeps me young and flexible.
Better to roll with the punches and keep my wits then to take one on the chin and be dazed and confused. I have more to do than what I am now. This is just a continuation of the journey of me. As long as I remember to keep learning as I go, I'll be all right. I hope.

Funny, as I was putting pen to paper to write these observations, JB's 1973 started playin'. Figures - I can't hear but then I did. *grin*

Yes, Autumn has arrived. My bestest friend told me she's feeling like the squirrels and deer and wanted to know if I knew what she meant. Restless - feeling like I'm supposed to do something but I don't know what. Irritated not knowing what but not angry. I think it's just being intuned to Her - Nature, Earth, Mother.
I think we're gonna have a real winter this year.

Anyways, the work I'm doing now is reinforcing my foundation for later when I can start digging into the real work I'm supposed to do. I don't know what, but it's not just survival. I'm hoping it is for community improvement. I want to be global. Lofty goals for a girl but many realities start out that way.

Currently listening :
Gratitude
By Earth Wind & Fire
Release date: 1999-07-27

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October 6, 2008 - Monday

I can’t hear
Current mood: cold
Category: Life

Every sound I loved sounds like a garbled, chaotic mess of scratchy, muffled noise. Nothing makes sense in my ears. I can't hear you. I try to figure out what those sounds may be and it hurts my brain. So I don't listen.
Disconnected.
Oh yes, I feel that.
No comfort in the darkness.

And why do I spread all this happyhappy joyjoy shit anyways? Having a positive outlook is overrated. A lot of people resent it. Hell, I kinda resent it. Like I'm this innocent, fanciful, stupid girl just finding out how the world really is instead of what I actually am - starting over whilst on the decline. Oh sure, I hope and wish and dream about being better, doing better but what am i doing about it? I gotta get my act together. And who do I think I am not being content with what I got?

And arrrrggghhh! All this noise and ringing in my ears! It's too much. Reminds me how lonely I am. I don't mind being alone. It's the loneliness that kills me.

I think I've squandered Love. Here I've been thinking I did right by sharing but nothing comes. I should have saved Love for me. Should have safed Love all this time instead of giving it away for free. I worry I've wasted it; let it slip away. Even worse thought: what if there's only so much we're allotted and I've used it up? Maybe I didn't cherish it as I should have?

I'm exhausted and my back is aching something fierce. Maybe I'll have a sweet dream that will rejuvenate me. Please, not a sound...

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October 2, 2008 - Thursday

Idle Muse
Current mood: recumbent
Category: Life

I'm fixing dinner for the kids and I tonight. The boy asks if I felt like Peter Pan?
"No," says I. "My happy thoughts are a bit low; I'm gonna need some fairy dust to fly."
The kids giggle at me. "Do you want to watch Peter Pan during dinner?"
Well, that is a horse of a different colour :)

Currently reading :
The Right Mind: Making Sense of the Hemispheres
By Robert Ornstein

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September 25, 2008 - Thursday

Blye! I am a Kriken from the sea!!!
Current mood: crazy
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Juno -- Awesome film

My kids! they are awesome. They are so young. Wow! They have so much more to experience. I look at them and they amaze me; their interaction in the world, how they incorporate their world into it. See, I'm not a total anarchist but I do think questioning authority (reality too at times *wink*) and living on the edge (a lot or a little as suits) is oe part to happyness. Except when they question me! haha

We watched Juno together (I'd seen it beforehand) and they seemed to like it. Oh boy did they like it! Watched it about 10 times. Anyways...

I like how it really captures all the generations and especially how kids ar. If you give them the opp to express themselves, they will surprise you. The shit they're learning is still fresh in their minds & their equipment is new and developing so they can reference topics faster than we adults.

The insecurities of knowing but not.
People are their most intense selves when they're stressed. Guin said she didn't like Jennifer Garner's character. I told her that she really wants to be a mother and it hadn't happened. She's nervous, worried, wishing, hoping -- stressed. I told them both I wouldn't know what I'd do if I didn't or couldn't have had them. I know that there would be a huge space in my life and heart if I didn't have them. I always knew... Always had them in my mind and if a fucking biological glitch prevented me from conception and birthing... I just don't know.
They don't fill a void per se. I mean soon enough, they will be gone and moved on and I'll only see them when they have time for me.
Oh I may as well fess up that they provide justification to my behavior. haha They are my proof that I'm not too crazy. Just crazy enough...

Currently watching :
Juno (S Edition)
Release date: 2008-04-15

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Mourning Dove
Category: Romance and Relationships

There is a female mourning dove outside, resting in the pine needles. Her mate visits her, comforts her, feeds her ... she's lost her feet.
I don't know what has happened but she stretches out her wings whilst trying to find her footing and then, she falls over. Her mate seems distraught.
In the overgrown, unkempt garden, he glides down fro the bench he's perched upon, to her side and she cuddles close to him. He flies back to the top of the bench and coos at her. A couple of times, she tried to do the same but she falls -- falls over. He can do nothing more. They no longer share the same interests.
I wondered if I should kill her. I'll do it quick and won't make a game of her demise. Then I thought: that's what we do -- meddle. How do I know what's best for that couple? Animal behavior isn't much different amongst animals.
We all feel ai ad have moments of indecision. There is love, tenderness, affection and even irritation. Humans aren't the only animals to experience these feelings.
It makes me sad to see that dove unable to have the simple quality of life to even perch or walk. She just props herself within the garden floor or leans against her mate. Watching him bring her food and checking on her, he flies away as if he hates to see her that way too. But he comes back.

Currently listening :
Forever Lost
By Magic Numbers
Release date: 2005-05-24

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September 22, 2008 - Monday

The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics
Current mood: bouncy
Category: Romance and Relationships

http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=OGh97__-uLA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dot_and_the_Line

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September 21, 2008 - Sunday

The Mind
Current mood: naughty
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

The Mind - found out that the creative method is a blend of the unusual way a person can see their world and collaboration. It's a woven tapestry of tiny threads that eventually make one creative work. Certain parts of the brain that don't usually work in tandem do during conception. However, it is work, no matter how one slices it! It may seem easy on the outside looking in but resourcefulness is the Mother of ingenuity. I think that it can be accessed easier by some than others for different reasons. Of course, many people can gather these same threads and convert them into their form of expression.

I've read over a few things I wrote last year. Damn!
I may seem a bit crazy! Oh well... It could be worse.
Disjointed and erratic isn't as bad as egocentric and flat out mad. There was a reason for my seemingly nonsensical ways -- had/have to get quite a few things sorted.
Anyways, as I was reading, I understood where I was coming from and it hit me that even being a conscious being, about 1/2 of what is said or written applies to the moment while the rest goes to the past and the future - I mean it's just filler or bushwa, whichever you feel the most comfortable claiming. So, if I took what I've stated and threw it in a whirlwind, it would probably make more sense.
Like I said, it could be worse.
Still, you've stuck around. Wow!
It must be love.
Or,,
you're as crazy, maybe more so, than I.
Sounds good to me :)

I am being a tad critical though. I mean, I've managed to stay alive, hold down jobs & raise kids for this long. I can't be as bad as I'll play it up to others. Do I want to be unapproachable? I dunno. Maybe I'm lazy and don't want to put the effort in anymore. I think I could be a hermit and be all right with it. I oscillate on that topic -- yet another conundrum to ponder.

Currently listening :
Closer
By Ne-Yo
Release date: 2008-07-01

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LoveFriendshipLoyalty - Claddagh
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

I bought Claddagh rings for my daughter and I - son isn't really the jewelry type; more into videogaming.heh

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claddagh_Ring
I was telling her the symbolism of the ring; the origin is cloudy. I told her how and where to wear it. I keep it on my right ring finger, heart, hands and crown faced out.

Perceptive she is and told me that I have captured the heart of you but/and now you must/will capture mine. I questioned what she meant because one would think _you'd_ captured my heart but she said that didn't make sense as I love you so I have your heart. You now are going to love me back and will capture this heart in me. But whose heart have I captured? Guinevere says not to worry about that because even if you don't know me yet, you will and we'll be trouble when we get together. Brendon says my Prince Charming will be here soon.
I can't argue with that logic. I'm here still learning...

Males and females everywhere and only one of whom I think.
Fucking shadow. Just as well, all these others aren't my type, may as well be a silhouette that is. That will keep me out of trouble. That isn't the only reason of course. I think it wasn't an accident or trite coincidence -- last summer. I believe in some one. Someone that I will feel that electricity just as I did when I felt/saw that ghost. That's who I know is mine. No mistake.
If in the end, someday, I have you to hold and listen and read my crazy thinks, it will all be worth the doubt and wonder I've experienced all this time. Every person that I liked and loved but just wasn't right, any moment that felt forced, I'd do it again again if I the end, I'm with you. Who knows when? I can't think about that _too much_ but I do know that who I want + need is out there, thinking and feeling the same.

Goodness, I'm such a soppy sentimental romantic. I need to go watch First Blood.

Currently watching :
First Blood
Release date: 2004-11-23

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September 18, 2008 - Thursday

So my girl says...
Current mood: bullied
Category: Romance and Relationships

My daughter says that I need to change my status -- I'm not in a relationship anymore.

Who knows? She could be right.

I'm scared but not of the dark. I'm scared of passive-aggressive men I used to be married to that don't do what they say they will. A man that doesn't follow through what is in our separation agreement and pay the mortgage whilst the kids and i still live in the house in place of child support or pay the kids health insurance. I'm tired of asking for the things he's supposed to do and then wait until he finds ways of getting back at me. I'm scared that I won't be able to make it and I won't be able to cover it all for my family. I always feel like what I do isn't enough and I should be doing more. I'm scared it'll always be this way...

I probably shouldn't have written this.
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.

Currently listening :
Rage Against the Machine
By Rage Against the Machine
Release date: 1992-11-10

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~Ant~

2008-09-16T21:48:00.001-04:00

~Ant~

09/09/08 6:38AM

~ Ant ~

Ants are master designers and builders, and they never rest. They are always working, and they work together to complete a master project.

Look at the many lessons for humans here. Quiet determination to reach your goal, and the willingness to work hard and steadily to accomplish that goal. No false pride that says you have to do everything yourself, and alone. The ability to work in groups for the good of the whole. The great gift of patience which allows us to study our alternatives, and take one step at a time — always moving forward toward that goal.

Self discipline, group effort, and the ability to delegate are all part of ant medicine. Never giving up. Patience, patience and PATIENCE. Not falling for a fast and easy solution because, in your heart, you know there is no substitute for your own dedication to your goal, and your willingness to work to get there. Persistence — and the success that comes with persistence — are ant traits.

Knock and the door will be opened.

2008-09-09T08:45:00.001-04:00

Knock and the door will be opened.
Current mood: breezy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Positivity Attraction Electricity Reaction
Every poem & song I hear
Puts me back in love
Again
That perfect scary wonderfulness of
Love, learning, knowing, and everything new that isn't.
No, we can't comprehend what love has us do.
What is a measure of love?
Can it be measured?
I really don't know.
We show love in different ways so is it more finding someone that will understand and give love, affection and appreciation as is mutually compatible or ... ?
There is still part of me that craves something different -- looks at Life different and pays attention to stuff not other people do.
We humans seem to quantify things to understand and process but we qualify if these things are important in our sphere of understanding.
How strange am I to want to grasp and master it all?

Maybe more; I have a lot on my mind...

Currently listening :
Dream Catch Me
By Newton Faulkner
Release date: 2007-07-30

Self-Preservation: The Meat of My Matter

2008-09-09T08:10:00.002-04:00

Self-Preservation: The Meat of My Matter

Current mood: determined
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Hard Realisation: I have been an overly domesticated female. I kept some wildishness/ wolfishness -- I homeschooled and thumbed my nose at those who judged me for it. I was able, though not as prolifically as in the past, to keep my creativity from crumbling into nothingness -- but, I let my Self go.

I lulled myself into believing the little bits and pieces I did to keep me from death was enough. I totally let my music and poetry go. I was hanging onto my Self by a thread. I was going to bury what made me feel alive and free and sharp. I worked to convince myself I didn't care or need what I was missing.

Now, I feel the void; a hollow pit in my torso that I want filled and though I know what will fill it, I am waiting. Waiting because I don't want to be trapped again. Life is full of easy and intricate ways of getting hurt, ensnared and sick. I haven't/ won't jump(ed) at any person, place or thing that catches my eye or ear. Have to stay grounded.

At this time, I feel like I got away from what was starving my soul -- the water filling my lungs whilst clawing and scratching at anything to get away and not drown; running out of burning breath... What kind of way is that to live? I used what I could find and made it what I needed it to be to keep me afloat whilst making the choices to up heave every person, creature and thing in my life.

Sometimes I cringe at myself not making waves sooner just so those around me could be comfortable. Sometimes I think myself selfish for not having it continue. I am healing my injuries on my own for now. I know it is necessary and must do this - understand where my head is at and where I want it to be. It doesn't mean that I don't long for this emptiness to cease; to have it filled; to stop feeling so cold.

I know it will happen though - I hear people calling me; telling me it's time to do real work - to really change the world. I feel that so strong; I feel like I'm gonna explode. But me exploding with no focus won't do any good. I need to become aware of my abilities so I can use my powers for good. There's so much sadness in the world - we need people that recognise there must be balance. So, I tossed my life into the air with absolute regard and conviction; the goal of a better life for me and those I hold closest to my heart.

Shape of My Heart - Sting

got the asstmgr position @

2008-05-12T16:13:00.001-04:00

got the asstmgr position @ Vans!!!
woohoo. omg this is gr8.
hope u & urs r doing wonderful.
big love
A~

I have to say, You

2008-05-11T10:09:00.001-04:00

I have to say, You as a Mother ROX! The grind can get boring but U do it coz U R The Rock; the stone that keeps rolling.
luv u sosolottamuch
A~

G~ hates Mndys. Im jokin

2007-12-17T08:25:00.001-05:00

G~ hates Mndys. Im jokin shes purposely not laughin. told her when she 4ces sour an angel dies & fairies cry. finally haha jeez
A~

OMG! in line to pik

2007-12-15T11:06:00.001-05:00

OMG! in line to pik up recycling bins and it is MAD! good to know ppl r wanting to recycle. haha wish me luck
A~

A~ silly mo': I forgot

2007-11-28T08:26:00.001-05:00

A~ silly mo': I forgot to tell you, all I take is vitamins and drunk like a fish.
These r the keys to long life.
It's my working theory anyways.

Oh I am so pleased!!!

2007-11-15T16:59:00.001-05:00

Oh I am so pleased!!! The kids are doing fabulous in school! Wonderfulbeautiful them - they keep me happy even when I'm blue

adverts on buses: I am

2007-11-11T15:37:00.001-05:00

adverts on buses:
I am not giving up and I am not giving in.
Achieve Change

hugs to all my crew. miss U
pay it forward it does come back

DANCING IS A CRIME Teen

2007-11-09T10:39:00.001-05:00

DANCING IS A CRIME
Teen arrested for doing C-Dance in Baltimore charged for disorderly conduct while cop interviews panhandler @ bus stop

No wonder kids dont have much respect for police Ridiculous bullship like this will make the PO look like clowns everytime Dont they get it yet?

VENN DIAGRAM How is it

2007-11-08T14:54:00.001-05:00

VENN DIAGRAM
How is it that this person has got me so workedup and wantin to jump all over 'em? Certain characteristics are overlapping... whew

blogger on the go

2007-11-04T12:24:00.001-05:00

blogger on the go

Saving Ones Own Life

2007-08-19T02:26:00.000-04:00

Marriage. Women and men are told what a marriage is supposed to be. We as humans are born and must follow our parents rules, struggling to be recognized as independent. Then we become indepent, slowly defining and fine-tuning, finding our integral selves. We meet a person that is mutually attracted by our individuality and independence. We get engaged…the big day…then the marriage begins. But what is marriage? For some reason, we forget ourselves; sacrificing for the greater ___. We don’t talk about the changes we make in ourselves for “the marriage.” We keep silent about it – that we lose ourselves. And talking about it is very difficult because we are told marriage is about sacrifice. We don’t want to look ungrateful. We don’t want to explain that we feel ourselves a sham. We believe the lie that is told to us is marriage and we get pulled by the riptide and drug to the bottom by the undertow. It is sad because it doesn’t have to be that way. Why do we as a society think that the true measure of a successful marriage is to portray the Brady’s or Huxtable’s? Why do we think that dysfunction is arguing? The real dysfunction is pride - NOT talking; keeping the struggle inside and letting it fester.
The person you fall in love with, who falls in love with you, believes that each is equally bringing their “true selves” to the table, flaws and all. When engagement and marriage is sealed with a kiss, what is forgotten is that what you each fell in love with is what you wanted to be bound to for the rest of your lives. It is a shame that the “fairytale” society tells us is to change, sacrifice and even suffer for the sake of that same fairytale. It is an injustice to ourselves, our children too, to continue to propagate a falsity that causes people to never speak or get needed help when things must be corrected – that those married don’t even feel they have the right to speak to their partner about concerns or problems.
When a marriage is over and the reason given is “you’ve changed,” it is overlooked that the change was the loss of identity – the perceived sacrifices that were made. And someone is stuck thinking, “I made those sacrifices for you!” But think about it, did you make those sacrifices because you were asked or told to or because you thought that was your role in the relationship?
We are taught that love and dedication is sacrificing, whether that is for your family, spouse, friends, job or children. To an extent that is true, but one thing I have told anyone that is closest to me, and asks me, is that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone. That is key! You have to feel good about yourself if you want to show your love and dedication to any. Otherwise, the insecurities leak out and some people in this world will take advantage of that.

Word Collecting

2007-08-18T22:45:00.000-04:00

Look `em up; tell me what you find though, I only have my books and thoughts - I won't be any help on the internet. This is in no order whatsoever. Those in Bedlam will/can/may/have put it together nicely, I'm sure. *humming her own little tune* Updated: I do spell-checking in my head; sometimes goes on the fritz (not _you_ Fritz! haha). Always reworking my work and get back to it when I can. Oopsie!

phwoah/phwoar TMI 17.40 remove 19.21 again 19.33 - 19.58 unique one odd pansexual(comebacktowhatImeanonthat...) enchant strange nunk The Dedicarte Association alcansaria ton only heap farmhouse asshole prophet pienza wine good food warm chocolate bittersweet coffee crazy corset breathless lawyers let down hence jigsaw scent stars crumbliest guns girl voice wonderland headspace tasted Fall at Your Feet morals set suck Barbara Hutton money enemy sleep fall wild flakiest want tough friend rough shit saxophones scorn silver bells open corners dance thirteen majick power Friday slow separation thence library /bottled water surely is money wasted/you know it's not even fluoridated/ CBT Albert Ellis 1913-2007/ Ingmar Bergman 1918 - 2007/ Noctilucent Cloud/ Nina Simone/Jeff Buckley/ TH 16.41 - 17.06 noddle noddy node nodule noetic noggin picture soul body spirit organise home quit smoking wright job differentiation love justice walking sugarcoat prey Pied Piper piecemeal /prove it/prov't/provost/ contraction/ haplography copal contre-jour glory hole box hanuman hap happi happy happen ambisexual diploid dipthong hanger hangi hansel HERO nihilistic genocides stark survivors tell truth pedantic panting Google thesarus endurance tightness work psyche stretching sadism stop-gap use than/then beginnings complicated touch current contract oo-eer viscisous 17.48 - 17.56 dreams pleasure words rain puppet childhood addiction cry high Tri-M 15:36 - 16:32 dawn instinctual nap/sleep hollow journey angel mother lover woman goof prodigal shoulder emotional blow my mind yoga flexibility pain sing colloquialisms hazel run lifetime The Senior socks move on wet noodle balloons cigarettes smoke personality lovely bracelet Wild World coincidence face expression active adventurous self-sufficient saliva blood trouble robust blunt feats of agility, strength, exertion & endurance 16:46 - 18:54 translating manspeak whisper subliminal seduction manhandling warrior wonder woman soulseeker SM101 valkyrie vivi Exquisite Corpse funcrazy crazy vs. mad John Bull definitions pernoctate yoni yonks folkie vocation jolie laide titular Pallas Minerva Athena goddess of war & reason songsmith vs. songwriter vs. wordsmith tocsin tintinnabulation of the skin - tinkle TNT trinitrotoluene would your its it's to be certain maker or builder heroine serendipitous accede torment surrender inflict painful aching erotic keep it up herting immersed damn! never forget the kiss and hug

Nunk & Monk

2007-08-12T21:13:00.000-04:00

Nunk: Hindu - Hinduism Dictionary on Nunk
nunk: A contemporary word coined by Catholic theologian Raimundo Panikkar to describe women contemplatives or female monks, in contrast to the word nun which commonly describes a religious teacher or service-oriented woman under vows. A nunk is a celibate woman following strict, perhaps austere and usually solitary, spiritual disciplines and lifestyle. By balancing the masculine and feminine energies within herself through sadhana and yoga, she is a complete being, detached from the thoughts and feelings of others, free to follow the contemplative and mystical life in pursuit of the Self within. To accomplish this, she works to permanently conquer her feminine instincts and the emotional tendencies of a woman's body. She strives to transmute her sexuality into the Divine, giving up her womanliness so thoroughly that she is indistinguishable from a monk. In Hinduism, nunks may be sannyasinis, yoginis or sadhikas.
See: monastic, sannyasin, monk.
(See also: Nunk , Hinduism, Body Mind and Soul)

Monk: Hindu - Hinduism Dictionary on Monk
monk: A celibate man wholly dedicated to religious life, either cenobitic (residing with others in a monastery) or anchoritic (living alone, as a hermit or mendicant). Literally, "one who lives alone" (from the Greek monos, "alone").

Through the practice of yoga, the control and transmutation of the masculine and feminine forces within himself, the monk is a complete being, free to follow the contemplative and mystic life toward realization of the Self within. Benevolent and strong, courageous, fearless, not entangled in the thoughts and feelings of others, monks are affectionately detached from society, defenders of the faith, kind, loving and ever-flowing with timely wisdom. A synonym for monastic. Its feminine counterpart is nunk.
See: monastic, sannyasin, nunk.
(See also: Monk , Hinduism, Body Mind and Soul)

OK, maybe I can sleep tonight. Learned something _very_ interesting and new today.

थे Dangerous Book For Boys

2007-08-11T06:21:00.000-04:00

Kids were given the gift of going to Borders books and lunch by their Mema. Very cool gesture, I'm gonna do that... one day...
Anyways, so we get to their house so's we can carpool w/Poppi - it was good; his driving is a bit choppy (but that, is another story) though I didn't have to drive so *shrug* I had music in my head that I was singing (soothes me) and so he kept convo to a minimum to be able to hear me. *grinning*
We arrive at Borders and right in the front was this red hardcover with black and gold writing - Gonn and Hal Iggulden's The Dangerous Book for Boys. As Mema was handing out the gift cards to the kids and telling them to have fun (I like the term 'have at it' meself), I was reading the coverplate of the book and somewhere between "Don't worry about..." and "...genius and don't worry about not being clever," I knew I wanted the book. Mema gave me a smile and handed me a gift card too. And 30% off the book too! Ya know how much I like gettin' deals.
This book has a warning note for parents too - maybe that's what got me. Or maybe it is the back of the book: "Recapture Sunday afternoons and long summer days. The perfect book for every boy from eight to eighty."
Moving on, I told my SIL that I had to have this book and _eventually_ read it (I got a friggin' backlog of like 40 books right now, not my typical but I've not made the time, had the time...excuses excuses). She thought it was interesting. I said as I'm a boy, I needed to find ways of keepin' myself out of trouble and she laughed. My son pointed out I wasn't a boy - I told him that was debatable. Even bigger laugh from SIL, and that made me *smile*. Not surprisingly, my daughter said she was a boy too.
This brings up a very interesting point - physically, we are NOT boys - yeah, I know, newsflash eh? We know all about this but there is that difference of not fitting in. This doesn't apply to my girl. She has girlfriends and does the whole girly-thing that I haven't managed to grasp yet in my years. There are males I can hang with that get me and those that just say they do and those that don't at all. It's only been a handful of females that get me and we hang-on to each other. So, what I've been doing is working with my girl to understand that one should never sacrifice their time to a boy just for attention; your _real_ girfriends should always be there for you when you call; don't be afraid to flex a mental or physical muscle to get your point across but less is more most of the time; NEVER leave a girl behind on Girls Night Out (and I've gotten into a few arguments with the chickees, and the gross-guys that tried to pick `em up, I've gone out with); always be true to yourself - you are your own best compass (ha! except when you're not); beauty has nothing to do with the outside, it is all about how well you take care of your inside - where soul meets body. There are quite a few more lessons in there somewhere, they get picked up and taught along the way. These aren't necessarily girl-talk convos, I tell my boy all about it too but it has to start somewhere.
It is discouraging to see how people are getting nowadays, but that, is another story...
Conan the Barbarian - awesome film.

Sweet on Geeks

2007-07-29T00:54:00.001-04:00

Remember to go through to sweetongeeks and that geek site to check out if there's a contact. I'd like to meet that James~ guy. Well, he's co-founder so I may be being a little too blunt about it, but hey, we geek girls can't help that we're a bit socially-inept at times. I'd only behave with less decorum if I'm alone with him. *giggling shrug* I enjoy making things a bit difficult. Oh well, what's the worst can happen...friendship? Who knows, could be a mutually fulfilling and beneficial relationship. hmm. *winking*
I'm convinced anyway that's how it works for me. I'm friends with a lot but not many know me, except for those that know me. umm...hee-hee!

Is there any Justice in the world?

2007-07-28T12:34:00.000-04:00

If There's Any Justice-James Blunt

If there's any justice in the world,
I would be your man, You would be my girl,
If i'd found you first you know its true,
He would be alone,
I would be with you.

When you decide, dont let me down,
Coz there's nothing to be certain in my life,
And you've seen a thousand times
There's not much justice in the world

If there's any justice in your heart,
You love really changed, Ease it into heart,
Why dont you remember how it feels,
Not to give a damn,
For anyone but me

I cant believe you'd be decieved,
Changing memories from truth to fantasy,
Where there's nothing left but tears,
there's not much justice in the world

Just because he's wrapped around your finger,
Don't fool yourself with dreams that might appear,
everytime you'll stop and trust your feelings,
The truth is out there somewhere
It's just blowing in the wind

If there's any justice in the world,
I would be your man, You would be my girl,
If i'd found you first you know its true,
He would be alone,
I would be with you,

When you decide, dont let me down,
Coz there's nothing to be certain in my life,
And you've seen a thousand times
There's not much justice in the world

If I should lose you girl you know,
That theres not much justice in the world

~*~*~*~*~*~
Why can't I find someone like this? I sometimes feel there is no justice in the world. The only place I'll find a Love like this in in myself...in my dreams. *sigh* And I'm still waiting for rain. I've been unavilable everytime there is a shower.

2007-07-20T18:54:00.000-04:00

The Story of The Queen of Spades

A long long time ago, I can still remember how that club underneath the bar smelled. It happened one night, a celebration for a friend, that a side show performed.
"Who wants to volunteer?"
Someone raised my hand. Now it's not that I was nervous or shy. I didn't know what to expect; I had just arrived.
"You," he said be my guest. And I figured I would do my best.
So up I went. He held a deck of cards and wanted me to examine them. I shuffled once for good measure ... I didn't know the trick. And he fanned out a deck of cards saying in his performers voice, "Pick one."
I made my choice, placed it in my shirt pocket. The man took the cards and with classic flourish and flair, ripped the entire deck in half, then handed the two halves back to me.
"You'll want to look at those," he stated with a smile. "Did you look at your card?"
I held the deck; then threw them away. I looked at the card in my pocket: Queen of Spades.
We weren't surprised...matter of fact it was classic in my case.

*Oddly, what happened just one month ago has seemed to fit in my current circumstances.*

2007-07-19T14:42:00.000-04:00

I swear, if I were a _tad_ smarter, I would have used the ridiculously fake persona that is on this blog as the bulk of something. I think I still can. Some very true and painful others a complete fabrication as it makes it easier to swallow the fuckedupedness that occurs when one is out of their head and making a point not to feel. Where has it gotten me?
When we had to move from our last residence, I looked up at the ceiling and said in my mind, which eventually I started chanting, "My view will be different soon."

I can't be bothered by those who say they love me giving me strange looks when I say I am a writer. what is up with that?!? You live your life, do your thing, pretend as you need. Why do you have to _rate_ what I do? Especially by a person that told me (when I was an adult) that she always knew when I was a child I'd grow up to be many things and yet never gave the support or help. Yet I'm supposed to grin and bear whatever is thrown at me. Silly woman, kicks are for Trids*. Done with those Trids; why didn't I see...oh I did, again uncomfortably numb.
*a Trid is a silly, stupid person that doesn't give a damn about anything but their own small-minded goals.*

2007-07-19T10:15:00.000-04:00

I can tell, something not quite right with PC.
Being led but in safe hands.
All towards the good I know
just tired of waiting

Maroon5, KT Tunstall

2007-07-19T10:01:00.000-04:00

My Aching Feet
They've seen much more worse for wear but been A walking after midnight for several days (not this morning though; too exhausted and can barely breathe from so many delicious tasty morsels of what _will_ come) and my souls are swollen, even the toes. The damage I did...umm, last year? year before last? to the soles blistering fully have left them very hard and rough. I'm tired of rough. I need a permanent spa. A place of comfort and rain. A place where I can attend to my angels without the stress of frustrating, uneccessary bullshit for no other reason than pride to admit mistakes preventing any forward motion in the wright direction. It isn't worth it. Has it ever been? *did I say that aloud*
I think it should be said out loud! I've been murmuring, mumbling, speaking, signing, calling, writing, listening, supporting...all of it has done nothing but left me in a lurch.
And what the fuck is up with me thinking I could hide in a corner? How stupid! Was I really going to hide my head in some mundane that everyone `round me seems to think is all right? MAD! Bonkers! It was making me bonkers too. It shows on me and my angels...my being drained.
Passports

2007-07-19T03:19:00.000-04:00

Funny...
Lighting something embers flew; more concerned about my shorts than the fact an ember ended on my wrist and was burning in. I saw it; watched it; didn't realy caer about it as it took a few seconds to burn out. There is a mark - it's nothing. If I hadn't seen it happen, I prolly wouldn't know where it came from. such is life: sunshine and daisies...

Wearing Mothers ring...got it a short time ago as a present from the kids and...
seemed surprised I called it My Mothers ring though was told why the inscription reads as it does. I dun get it

2007-07-18T23:39:00.000-04:00

And I'm exhausted
So tired
Try to sleep in a rigid bed
all it does it hurt
My back, my shoulders, my skin
But my brain is flying
toyou
of you
I am with you
I want to be
I really want to be

I'm so tired
Trying to breathe life
Into something that kollaapsed into itself
No matter how I try to build
To find a way
To make it work
I'm am fought
This I cannot endure
No longer

My patience is losing
My mind is aching
I've worn the brokensmile
It doesn't suit
`Cause I am the Queen of Spades
and I have the card
to prove't

No not whisked away by happenstance
But by a more than lucky chance
I'm glad you got to see me dance
And I still will
All through your soul
And lift you up
I see your goal
And I want to know them all

I'm tired of waiting
Making do
I've already paid
My fucking dues
How long does One stay
In a *beautiful* cage
That they have made?

And I'm still tired
So Exhausted
The bed feels so taut
At least the sheets were fairly fresh
And I'm sat here at this desk
Simmering, smoldering, needing and really wanting
you

2007-07-18T16:41:00.000-04:00

Tough
What’s tough?
Daughter asked if some of the neighbor kids (getting to be friends I guess) could come inside the house. It’s not that I don’t want people in my house (although, it isn’t as tidy as I’d like…as I used to be able to keep it heh) but gimme a break! It’s Summer! Nice, clear sky, just another lovely Summer day. I was gonna say no but then figured something in a flash. “You can come in if you clean the floor.” ROFL!!!
Yes, this is me. I thought, maybe they will, prolly not. These children said, “OK!!!”
HA! Success!
My dude stood in amazement. I dunno why though? haha
They went inside and found themselves downstairs gawping at all the Legos we have. I was fine with that, but make no mistake…
I got together the ingredients and had them bring up the Rainbow to clean the floor. In the midst of this, a straggler came in to work (LOL) as another asked if they were getting paid. “You got to come into my house,” I reminded him. His jaw dropped, but he didn’t move to leave.
“What about a snack or some soda/juice?” he countered.
“You can have some water fresh from my tap,” I stated pointedly.
“How do you clean the floors?”
“With your hands and arms,” I answered. tee-hee
And, of course he helped. They all did, good kids they are. My girl kept them on task while I checked every now and again. BEFORE all this, I had already given my boy permission to play video games, so…
While the crew was vacuuming and wet Swiffering, I asked B- to help me gather the stuff for s'mores. I hate s'mores, but it works for most people who like sweets.
After the chores were finished, the kids made their own dessert.
Funnily enough, my boy comes around after his video-game time (AND work completed! hmmm...) and asked if he could have dessert or if it was too late?
I informed him, “If you want dessert, you’ll have to do work just like the rest of the kids did, including your sister.”
He just stared at me.
I stared back.
He walked away.
He came back. “What kind of work will I have to do?”
“You’ll have to Rainbow the rest of the Middle-Level.”
He just stared at me, maybe a bit of contempt in his face.
"That's what you'll have to do." *shrug*
He kinda stalked off, but that's ok, he processed. I knew he would/could/should.
Is it mean to say I was so laughing at him on the inside?

2007-07-18T14:04:00.000-04:00

Can't believe it! Went looking for a few lyrics and found these...different versions too! I'm still reading them. This is what I've finished (and really enjoyed) so far. I guess I'll just keep adding to this blog... I'm lucky, I think, finding these.

James Blunt - Alright Tonight Lyrics
"If you want to you can stick around,
'Cause it’s alright, tonight,"
She said.
"I will stay here, stay with you
'Cause you're alright, tonight."
And I, I hoped that things would turn
Out my way 'cause she's alright, tonight
She said "This is fun! This is good; yes!
It's alright, it's alright."

(Chorus)
Do you want this one night stand?
Let's take a risk and go play in the sand.
You can leave that ring on your finger.
I'm a sinner, you're the winner; I am too.

We made out now, we made up, yeah.
We made love for the world cup
I said, “I want things I've never had before.”
She said, "Alright, tonight."
So we entered heaven to accept our fate,
And to sum it up baby, it was great, yeah.
It's not often that I see the light
but it's - it's alright, it's alright.

(Chorus)
Do you want this one night stand?
Let's take a risk go play in the sand.
You can leave that ring on your finger.
I'm a sinner, you're the winner; I am too.

Here she comes again now
Here she comes again now
Here we go again now

[Do you want this one night stand] 3x
[all right all right]

(Chorus)
Do you want this one night stand?
Let's take a risk go play in the sand.
You can leave that ring on your finger.
I'm a sinner, you're the winner; I am too. 3x

It's alright. 15x

[You can leave that ring on your finger.
I'm a sinner, you're the winner; I am too.]

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

James Blunt – In Flowers / Butterfly Lyrics
You're A butterfly
and you want to be
in flowers
and you want to meet
Dalai Lama
reach nirvana

because I love you love me
I just want you to be
in flowers
with me

I'm A little child
and I want to be
held in your arms
any fool can see
that it's nothing new
that I need you

because I love you love me
I just want you to see
the little child in me

there's A butterfly that’s in my heart
it lives in me when we're apart
but preferably you stay with me
because I love you love me
I just want you to be the butterfly in me

&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%&^%

जेम्स ब्लुन्त - इत'एस नॉट एअस्य तो बी मे ल्य्रिच्स
ई कैन’त स्टैंड तो फ्लाई
ई’म नॉट ठाट नैव
ई’म जुस्त आउट तो फंड
थे बेत्तेर पार्ट ऑफ़ मे
ई’म मोरे थान अ बर्ड…ई’म मोरे थान अ प्लेन
मोरे थान सोम प्रेत्त्य फस बेसिदे अ ट्रेन
इत’एस नॉट एअस्य तो बी मे
विष ठाट ई कोउल्ड क्रय
फाल उपों मय क्नीस
फंड अ वय तो लिए
अबाउट अ होम ई’ल नेवर सी
इत मई सौन्द अब्सुर्द…बुत डॉन’त बी नैव
एवें हेरोएस हवे थे राईट तो ब्लीद
ई मई बी दिस्तुर्बेद…बुत वों’त यू कोन्सदे
एवें हेरोएस हवे थे राईट तो ड्रीम
इत’एस नॉट एअस्य तो बी मे
उप, उप ऎंड अवय…अवय फ्रॉम मे
इत’एस अल राईट…यू कैन अल स्लीप सौन्द तोनिघ्त
ई’म नॉट क्रेज्य…ओर अन्य्थिंग…
ई कैन’त स्टैंड तो फ्लाई
ई’म नॉट ठाट नैव
में वेरें’त मेंत तो रीड
विथ क्लौड्स बेत्वीं थेइर क्नीस
ई’म ओनली अ मन इन अ सिल्ली रेड शीट
दिग्गिंग फ़ॉर क्र्य्प्तोनिते ओं थिस वन वय स्ट्रीट
ओनली अ मन इन अ फुन्न्य रेड शीट
लूकिंग फ़ॉर स्पेशल थिंग्स इनसाइड ऑफ़ मे
इत’एस नॉट एअस्य तो बी मे.

2007-07-18T09:44:00.000-04:00

YMI's Untitled - Lyrics: B. Adil

Cruisin' down the road
Troubles on my mind
I look for nothing
then rewind Life

To when I was a boy
being brushed away
it takes its toll
on how we relate

All my life
my heart was on loan
you're kinds to others
but not your own

Look at me now and try to plead your case
When all the evidence has been erased
Everytime I turn around and look at your face
I know I gotta get out... Outta this place

Had a young son
right in the palm of your hand
To mold him into someone
you're proud to call a friend

Can you sit there and tell me
this was part of your plan
To take a little child
and make a mess of a man

Thinkin' I
need to atone
Made time for others
but left me alone

Look at me now and try to plead your case
When all the evidence has been erased
Everytime I turn around and look at your face
I know I gotta get out... Outta this place

Had a young son
right in the palm of your hand
To mold him into someone
you're proud to call a friend

Can you sit there and tell me
this was part of your plan
To take a little child
and make a mess of a man

© 2007, YMI

2007-07-18T08:08:00.000-04:00

Cat Stevens - The Wind Lyrics

I listen to the wind

To the wind of my soul

Where I'll end up well I think,

Only God really knows

I've sat upon the setting sun

But never, never never never

I never wanted water once

No, never, never, never

I listen to my words but

They fall far below

I let my music take me where

My heart wants to go

I swam upon the devil's lake

But never, never never never

I'll never make the same mistake

No, never, never, never

I've Been Waiting Lyrics - Matthew Sweet

Album: Girlfriend

When you said to me

You are not so old

Did I know it then?

'Cause I had just been told

I didn't think I'd find you

Perfect in so many ways

But I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to [have you]

I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to

The secret on your lips

That nobody knows

Gentle in your eyes

You can wear my clothes

I didn't think I'd find you

Perfect in so many ways

But I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to [have you]

I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to [have you]

I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to

When you said to me
You are not so old
Did I know it then?
'Cause I had just been told
You know, I didn't think I'd find you
Perfect in so many ways
But I've been waiting [waiting]
And I want to [have you]
I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to [have you]

I've been waiting [waiting]

And I want to [have you]
I've been waiting [waiting]
And I want to

I've been waiting [waiting]

http://girlwitthecurls.blogspot.com/

2007-06-13T15:57:00.001-04:00

2007-02-05T19:37:00.001-05:00

REWRITE - Asian Kung-Fu Generation
Lyrics: Gotou Masafumi

Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is
Because there's no other proof of my existence
My future that I should've grabbed hold is
Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom"
Wanting to erase the distorted afterimage is
Because I'll see my limit over there
In the window of the excessively self-conscious me
There are no dates in last year's calendar
Erase and rewrite
The pointless ultra-fantasy
Revive
The unforgettable sense of being
Rewrite
The meaningless imagination
The driving force that creates you
Give it your whole body and soul
After cutting my feelings that grew, I regret
After realizing that after all, I'm just a mediocrity, I cry
A depressed heart
A dirty lie
Erase and rewrite
The pointless ultra-fantasy
Revive
The unforgettable sense of being
Rewrite
The meaningless imagination
The driving force that creates you
Give it your whole body and soul

(kishin da omoi o hakidashitai no wa
sonzai no shoumei ga ta ni nai kara
tsukan da hazu no boku no mirai wa
"songen" to "jiyuu" de nujun shiteru yo
yugan da zazou o keshi saritai no wa
jibun no genkai o soko ni miru kara
jiishiki kajou no boku no mado ni wa
kyonen no KARENDAA hidzuke ga nai yo
keshite RIRAITO shite
kudaranai chou gensou
wasurarenu sonzai kan o
kishikaisei
RIRAITO shite
imi no nai mousou mo
kimi o nasu dendouryoku
zenshin zenrei o kure yo
mebaete ta kanjou kitte kuyan de
shosen tada bonyou shitte naite
kusatta kokoro o
usugitanai uso o
keshite RIRAITO shite
kudaranai chou gensou
wasurarenu sonzai kan o
kishikaisei
RIRAITO shite
imi no nai mousou mo
kimi o nasu dendouryokuzenshin zenrei o kure yo)

I love Full Metal Alchemist! The beginning songs chosen are so...deep.

2007-02-02T22:19:00.001-05:00

You know what??!!??

I can't believe about this whole STUNT performed by a marketing company to promote a beloved animation of mine (Thanx Der-!) Aqua Teen Hunger Force...THE MOONINITES!!!

I fuckin' love that show! and what could possibly happen but the marketing was perceived as a "terrorist threat." This is such bull! War of the Worlds...anyone remember that as an icon in history. Orson Welles nd his announcement that martians were taking over the world. People freaked. It was nutty; weren't they tryin' to press some sort of charges?

I have to look all this up and see if I'm rememberin' things all right. My memory is getting a might poorly. heh

Anyways...it is very strange to see a Mooninite on a highway, but if you were to see one, I can't IMAGINE how a thinking human being would think that it was a terrorist attempt. Let me type a description: an Atari-type graphics box shape, legs and arms...one arm, in its 2-D shape, middle finger in the air. Now I "heard" on the news that there were wires hanging which made me think that eventually, it would be attached to a battery so's it would light up. Unfortunately, maybe fortunate because I'm sure someone may have thought them nuclear devices (!!!), they weren't lit-up. I wish a muthafucka would have put some of those in my town...a few would have been mine for a coupla friends and myself. *wink*
RIDICULOUS!!! OUTRAGEOUS!!! Fuckin' terrorist threat... We are an EXTREMELY fortunate country to NOT have war in our backyards. I mean that sincerely. We need to give cred to the women and men allowing us our freedoms here. But if we are that afraid that said 2-D (probible) LED animation is looked upon as a potential act of terrorism, we maybe should focus more on what home is...The entire North/South American continent. Maybe we should try to be "friends"...maybe we should focus more on where "HOME" is. How much peace can be kept when there are "surges" and "code-red"'s and the like ? I'm So Glad, I don't think... as I lay in bed trying to sleep, that maybe some bombs or fully-auto-ed weapons will occur around me or outside my w2indow. Glad really isn't the word. Grteful, Blessed, So-Lotta-Fortunate...but please, don't ever let me think entitled. (when I think of 'our' waste and *shudder* you'll only get what I'm sayin' if you get my description. There are shining moments of our country...Must being a natural-born citizen to get any sort of personal political gain was an excellent idea (but then, we must make 'our' CITIZENS welcome, regardless of color, race, gender or creed) *sigh*
But then, I speak these beliefs outloud and get strange looks by others. I re-read what I've written as free-hand as I can and still don't see where it is crazy. So I must be "stranger" to believe in my own work. *sigh*
Ok, so it isn't easy bein' me...but I wouldn't have it any other way. heh-heh

2007-01-27T14:50:00.000-05:00

Ok, so last year, or maybe 2005, I made a MySpace page. Check it out & if you have a MySpace page too, we can link-up. *grin*

TBC...helpin' my girl with a proj.

2006-11-26T11:40:00.000-05:00

Internal Peace

A person implied that I needed to have inner peace. Well, as usual, I let it slip off my back like a duck but thinking on it later, it was a minor irritation that I'm probably unecessarily typing here today.

I am VERY passionate. To the point of being intimidating, this same person shared with me. I know this about myself and I am very comfortable with it. That trait makes fast friends (which I love) or foes...I don't care. I make snap decisions in times of crisis. Critical and dangerous situations actually invigorates me and keeps me calm. I don't panic - I detach and become very clinical in how to resolve a potentially perilous predicament.

Anyway, not to get off topic...
Externalizing some negative circumstances that I deal with helps me. Internalizing problems can make one old before their time, bitter and hostile. I don't want to be that type of person. I am very happy to be passionate about my problems so that I can get it off my chest and be done with it. I can also recall and display all the emotions, positive or negative, of things that have happened in my past. That is simply the artist in me - a very important quality. I exploit this ability to the hilt when writing my stories and songs. If it comes off as not having my issues in order, so be it. I truly believe that I've roamed this earth more than once and I don't have time to pretend and fit into Society's normalcy. I do have the time to make my mark on this world in my way and improve on what I've learned and the person that I am. Take it or leave it...I don't care.

So as I've gone through the internal pieces of my life, I realize what I was told a while ago by Jasmine, a Cherokee Nation medicine woman, "You're clicking down the path very nicely," has kept me looking around and down that path, trying to be the best person I can be and enjoy the ride without compromising my need to "Take it Light". Therapy has helped much too in fine tuning as well as making sure I haven't lost perspective - I haven't; at least not yet.
TBC...

2006-10-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

BIOLOGY

NATURE

NURTURE

ENVIRONMENT/SOCIETY

CHOICE

These are the five variables that make a person who/what they are. The last variable is what puts all the responsibility for who/what you are on each individual. Free Will is a Bitch but it is what separates man from beast.
A-

2006-05-18T14:55:00.000-04:00

You know that thing that just creeps up on you when you have something that you want to say that feels important but can't get it out and make yourself clear the perceived conception that you are unable to properly form the words that will make others understand the confusion when you can't even understand what you mean yourself on the tip of your tongue but just out of your grasp with the strange stares and nondescript thoughts that you must have problems are on too many drugs ingested too much alcohol isolated yourself into being a hermit and only keep your own council?

I'm 33 now and I don't much feel different nor do I think I look different but something is different. I can't place it, probably shouldn't try to.
Thanks Doug and Kalindi for a lovely birthday - I had so much fun and thanks for the gifts!

2006-04-11T21:01:00.000-04:00

Money. That is what will solve the school problem. Throw money at the school administration and see what they will do with it...Give themselves raises, no doubt, as has happened in the past. Maybe make the exterior of schools look pretty; granted that doesn't mean that they will shovel the snow and put down salt so the people going to the school don't fall and bust their asses. I know! Listen to the radio in Baltimore and hear the Baltimore City Public School Systems public announcement to 'teach your kids their ABC's, 123's and make sure they can read BEFORE they get to school - to give them a "head's up" in class.' We know what that really means.
And what about the kids learning just how to take the MSA's? Those teachers who got into trouble were scapegoats and the school system administration knows it. Teachers have been totally stressed by their individual schools' admin about how the kids must get higher scores on these tests. This is a horrible trickle down effect that doesn't have a happy ending! The kids aren't learning anything but what is on the tests and how to TAKE tests in general. When do the teachers get to teach so the kids can learn...Where is the application of knowledge?!?

Bill Gates and his woman are speaking out. Oprah Winfrey is speaking out. Hell! I've been speaking out on this for YEARS!!! Thank goodness, people with money and the media at their disposal are finally saying something that will be our country's demise if nothing is done about it. It's deplorable; despicable and disgusting - the education curriculum that is supposed to prepare our Nation's children in schools.
There are those that think paying for their children to go to private school will insulate them from the problem. Or you can be like me...Not complacent but not having the time to worry about other people's kids `cause I got my own and spend money homeschooling. Instead of fighting for what should be our tax-right, just put your child in private school or homeschool them and you can forget about the crisis.
School standards are sinking regardless! Not only that but if we must pay taxes for the public school system, it should work. We shouldn't be worried and afraid if our kids are going to get educated or into a fight on a daily basis. It's a behemoth - the big, fat elephant in the room that no one "sees" but everyone is struggling to move around, gasping for breath.
Gosh, I could continue this but what's the point? I'm not Bill Gates or Oprah Winfrey or Mayor O'Malley or Governor Ehrlich. What can I do besides complain? If I try to ask questions at my daughter's school, I get the Evil Eye and told that I should join the PTA. PTA!?! What a fuckin' joke! All they've been doing for the past 2 years is use Mafioso tactics to get the kids to put on uniforms. It's gonna take a hell of a lot more than uniforms to get the standards up to par.
It's gonna take more than money.

2006-02-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

Swiftly coming to a resolution... As much as I enjoy the time with my crew, I feel that I have to change my priorities.
It hurts my son very much that I play D&D without him and that I haven't created the time to show him how to play the game. It's already been made clear to me that my son will not be allowed to join the current group I'm in. If I could, that would mean a closer bond with my boy...that is priceless.
I have a couple other friends that have been playing D&D and onto Advanced D&D since it came out; they are interested in learning the D20 system. I know that my son, maybe G- if she's interested, can join and play in this group together.

2006-02-25T01:48:00.001-05:00

You know, I just gotta joke this shit!
They weren't mini hamburger buns, they was dinner rolls cut in half
WHERE'S THE BEEF MOTHERFUCKER!?!?
Supposedly, each burger is handcrafted...it was crap not craft.
It's not like I was expecting each mini to be 1/2lb of meat, but I was expecting at least a WhiteCastle burger...meat visible to the naked eye.
For real! the price of my mini burgers was the same as any of the other burger platter but I don't even think I got a 1/4lb of beef.
If I would have known it was gonna be that shitty, I would've gotten something I know I like to eat at that restaurant.
Oh well, our anniversary was lovely. He bought me lots flowers and had vases set-up in every room in the house for me to wake up to. very romantic

2006-02-25T01:48:00.000-05:00

My husband and I decided to celebrate our 11th year anniversary by going out to dinner with our kids. We chose Ruby Tuesday because of the menu and I saw that cute commercial for the Ruby Minis.
I was very disappointed. I thought that the burgers were going to be well formed patties...I thought it was going to be like the commercial showed. Instead, 4 the minis were thin patties cut in half or something, on untoasted buns; no cheese, no onion straws...nothing. I was told my meal was mixed up with the kids mini burger meal. When they brought me a new plate, the minis had the toppings on them like they should but still the patties were just regular sized patties cut in half or something...you couldn't tell there was meat unless you picked up the still untoasted top bun!
The service was great, but my food experience was terrible. I think maybe Ruby Tuesday should change that commercial because it's false advertising.

2006-02-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

Wow! My favorite character in FINAL FANTASY VII - Nanaki Not bad for having played the game over 4 years ago. *grin

Red VIII/Nanaki
You scored 59% knowledge!

What can you say about a huge, flamming tailed, mystic cat warrior that was smarter than Steven Hawking. Yeah I wouldn't fuck with you either. I know you were basically a pacifist but it didn't help your standing that we had to come spring your ass from the clutches of evil scientists. No worries, you could fling magic with the best of them and cosmo memory was the prettiest break in the game.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 66% on knowledge

Link: The Final Fantasy VII Test written by King_Diamond on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2006-02-09T17:25:00.001-05:00

I'm not one bit surprised. What pisses me off is now-a-days, when going to a restaurant, club or bar, if you ask for water they only give bottled water and thereby one has to pay for it at $3 and $4 a 16.9oz! Like they aren't already getting their money out of me with food & drink purchases and cover charges!!! Please, I'll take the risk of the "scary" tap water! Will you give my wallet a rest?!?

Abid Aslam, OneWorld US Sat Feb 4, 4:49 PM ET
WASHINGTON, D.C., Feb 4 (OneWorld) - Water, water everywhere and we are duped into buying it bottled.
Consumers spend a collective $100 billion every year on bottled water in the belief--often mistaken, as it happens--that this is better for us than what flows from our taps, according to environmental think tank the Earth Policy Institute (EPI).
For a fraction of that sum, everyone on the planet could have safe drinking water and proper sanitation, the Washington, D.C.-based organization said this week.
Members of the United Nations have agreed to halve the proportion of people who lack reliable and lasting access to safe drinking water by the year 2015. To meet this goal, they would have to double the $15 billion spent every year on water supply and sanitation.
''While this amount may seem large, it pales in comparison to the estimated $100 billion spent each year on bottled water,'' said EPI researcher Emily Arnold.
''There is no question that clean, affordable drinking water is essential to the health of our global community,'' Arnold said. ''But bottled water is not the answer in the developed world, nor does it solve problems for the 1.1 billion people who lack a secure water supply. Improving and expanding existing water treatment and sanitation systems is more likely to provide safe and sustainable sources of water over the long term.''
Worldwide, bottled water consumption surged to 154 billion liters (41 billion gallons) in 2004, up 57 percent from 98 billion liters in 1999, EPI said in a written analysis citing industry data.
By one view, the consequences for the planet and for consumers' purses are horrifying.
''Even in areas where tap water is safe to drink, demand for bottled water is increasing--producing unnecessary garbage and consuming vast quantities of energy,'' said Arnold. ''Although in the industrial world bottled water is often no healthier than tap water, it can cost up to 10,000 times more.''
At up to $2.50 per liter ($10 per gallon), bottled water costs more than gasoline in the United States.
A close look at the multibillion-dollar bottled water industry renewed Arnold's affection for the faucet.
Tap water comes to us through an energy-efficient infrastructure whereas bottled water must be transported long distances--and nearly one-fourth of it across national borders--by boat, train, airplane, and truck. This ''involves burning massive quantities of fossil fuels,'' Arnold said.
By way of example, in 2004 alone, a Helsinki company shipped 1.4 million bottles of Finnish tap water 4,300 kilometers (2,700 miles) to Saudi Arabia. And although 94 percent of the bottled water sold in the United States is produced domestically, some Americans import water shipped some 9,000 kilometers from Fiji and other faraway places to satisfy demand for what Arnold termed ''chic and exotic bottled water.''
More fossil fuels are used in packaging the water. Most water bottles are made with polyethylene terephthalate, a plastic derived from crude oil. ''Making bottles to meet Americans' demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel some 100,000 U.S. cars for a year,'' Arnold said.
Worldwide, some 2.7 million tons of plastic are used to bottle water each year.
Once it has been emptied, the bottle must be dumped. According to the Container Recycling Institute, 86 percent of plastic water bottles used in the United States become garbage or litter. Incinerating used bottles produces toxic byproducts such as chlorine gas and ash containing heavy metals tied to a host of human and animal health problems. Buried water bottles can take up to 1,000 years to biodegrade.
Of the bottles deposited for recycling in 2004, the United States exported roughly 40 percent to destinations as far away as China--meaning that even more fossil fuels were burned in the process.
Meanwhile, communities from near which the water came in the first place risk running dry.
More than 50 Indian villages have complained of water shortages after bottlers began extracting water for sale under Coca-Cola Co.'s Dasani label, EPI said.
''Similar problems have been reported in Texas and in the Great Lakes region of North America, where farmers, fishers, and others who depend on water for their livelihoods are suffering from concentrated water extraction as water tables drop quickly,'' ''Arnold said.
All this, because many consumers associate bottled water with healthy living.
More fool us.
''Bottled water is not guaranteed to be any healthier than tap water. In fact, roughly 40 percent of bottled water begins as tap water; often the only difference is added minerals that have no marked health benefit,'' EPI said.
France's Senate, it added, ''even advises people who drink bottled mineral water to change brands frequently because the added minerals are helpful in small amounts but may be dangerous in higher doses.''
To be sure, many municipal water systems have run afoul of government water quality standards--driving up demand for bottled water as a result. But according to the study, ''in a number of places, including Europe and the United States, there are more regulations governing the quality of tap water than bottled water.''
The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency sets more stringent quality standards for tap water than does the Food and Drug Administration for the bottled stuff, it added.
Americans drank 26 billion liters of bottled water in 2004, or roughly one eight-ounce glass per person every day. Mexico had the second highest consumption, at 18 billion liters. China and Brazil followed, at close to 12 billion liters each. Italy and Germany ranked fifth and sixth in consumption, downing just over 10 billion liters of bottled water each.
Italians drank the most bottled water per person, at nearly 184 liters in 2004--more than two glasses per day. Mexico and the United Arab Emirates consumed 169 and 164 liters per person. Belgium and France followed, knocking back almost 145 liters annually. Spain ranked sixth, with 137 liters swallowed each year.
Some of the fastest growth in bottled water consumption is taking place in poor countries, however.
With consumption per person increasing by 44-50 percent between 1999 and 2004, Lebanon and Mexico had among the fastest growth rates of the top 15 per-capita guzzlers, EPI said.
Indian and Chinese people drank far less individually but collectively, the world's two most populous countries appear to have been on a bender. India swigged three times as much bottled water in 2004 as it did in 1999 and China, more than twice as much.
If individual Chinese consumers drank one-fourth the bottled water downed by the average American, EPI said, China would springboard over the United States and become the world's largest consumer.

2006-02-09T17:25:00.000-05:00

Our Daughter's Elementary/Middle School

Attention: Principal & Asst. Principals

To Whom It May Concern:

We are very upset and think you ought to know the events our daughter, G-, expressed occurred 9 February 2006 during her 3rd grade gym class.

Apparently, the usual gym teacher, Mr. P-, was not in school and so Ms. W- was responsible for the students and their activities that period. The children were playing ‘Jump the Doughnut’ and student a- pushed G- to the ground to get her out of the game. The rest of the students crowded around her, teasing and yelling at her which quickly progressed into them pushing, hitting and pulling her hair. They eventually stopped on their own, going back to the game. Ms. W- was present while all this was going on but did nothing. Student p- paused from playing to hit G-, who was standing on the sidelines. Again, nothing was done by the adult in charge. As a result of the incidents, G- has an injury - her glasses were mashed against the side of her face and she was scratched dangerously close to her left eye – that was not acknowledged or taken care of.

Why was this allowed to happen? What will be done about this?

This seems to be a classic case of mob mentality, however there was a person who could and should have diffused the situation. Over the years, occurrences similar to this, though not as severe, have happened with Ms. W- as guardian of a class. I’ve not documented any until now. This could have been anyone’s child. Yesterday, it was our child and we want assurances there will be no retaliation against her for our complaint and expectation of accountability.

We look forward to your response and a quick resolution of this predicament.

Sincerely,
Parents A- & B-

2006-01-31T23:41:00.000-05:00

Was on an internet talkshow tonight, bullshittin', havin' fun and promoting YMI on RANDOM BABBLE. I had a chance to meet Patrick Duffy of PDG RADIO last Saturday at The ZU when YMI played. It was a fun time...last Saturday and tonight. We listened to a few YMI songs, were laughing on-the-air, promoting the band and gettin' a few jokes in was decent. I also promoted Grouchy Kitty Records of which I am V.P. of Promotions/ A&R and Talent Development.

Monkey porn is hot!

2006-01-10T10:35:00.000-05:00

Had a friend state: Shock, horror, hold the presses, an email ... sadly, though, little of worthiness (for a change). Nice new pic, I see. Guin looks more like you ever day ;)
Hugs & best wishes and stuff

I thanked him - in a funny kinda way, I love to rib him (oops :P) Subject: *yawn
I get more words in a pre-fabbed note. hee-heeAnd thank you! She is gorgeous, to be sure, with a matching personality. People often say it seems as if I've just spat her out; both of my kiddies but especially her. Not sure how much I like the analogy though... The boy is just as lovely and gets mistaken as a female occasionally, mostly by old people. Oh well, the girls swoon now so he'll be irresistible when of age. *g
All the best

I've noticed that I can look at my son and daughter and see how beautiful they are. And I looked like Guin when I was a kid. I didn't know that! It is much easier for me to see my children's beauty than my own. I only see attributes that I like about myself. At the same time, there are a lot more things I like about myself than don't. My body is just a shell - it's not really me. I love my personality - Who I am. I've worked hard to get healthy and thought there's always room for improvement, I still wish there were more people like ME in the world. *wink

2006-01-03T23:40:00.000-05:00

I watched Serenity again. Listened to the audio commentary by Joss Whedon...I think I'm in love. *smiling
I loves me some cheez too!
If I ever get the opp in this life, I want to meet him, I'm sure we'll be fast friends...or at least that is a hope. He used a few of my favorite words. Words that most people laugh at me when I use because, well, let's not go there... heh-heh
Snogging is Fab for sure.

2005-12-29T19:16:00.000-05:00

Outstanding! Fantastic!!!
Went and saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
It exceeded my expectations. The best book to film transition I've seen in a long long long time!
There were kids younger than my own that were sitting rapt through the entire view. Everyone clapped at the end...it's been out for a few weeks even.
It blew me away. I loved this film. More, More, MORE!!!

2005-12-24T18:48:00.000-05:00

Merry Holidays All!I missed not seeing everyone on our last gathering, but we who weretogether - it was great fun and thanks.We had talked about a book club. I'm no good at finding books, I justread all the time so...here is a brief portion of what I've devoured.Send me what y'all've read too.NON-FICTIONThe Mommy Myth; Susan J. Douglas & Meredith W. MichaelsFast Food Nation; Eric SchlosserMr. Jefferson's Lost Cause; Roger G. KennedyHegemony or Survival - America's Quest for Global Dominance; NoamChomskyAnal Pleasure & Health; Jack Morin, PH.D.The Portable Jung; Edited by Joseph CampbellRoget's Super Thesaurus Third Edition; Marc McCutcheonConcise Oxford English Dictionary Revised Tenth EditionFICTIONControl Freak; Christa FaustHoodtown; Christa FaustCharlie and the Chocolate Factory; Roald DahlSeries: Read `em all!!!6th book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince; J. K. Rowling3rd (and final) book Beauty's Release; A. N. RoquelaureSeries of Unfortunate Events (eventually will be 13); Lemony SnicketThe Chronicles of Narnia (7 books); C. S. Lewis (I loved these as achild, still do!)I finally had a chance to watch Serenity - THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!Anyone seen Donnie Darko - either version? Terrific filmMerry Christmas to all of you. Take care and my wish for you andyours is love, happiness and success.Love,A-

2005-12-12T08:59:00.001-05:00

along with:
Jarhead, Aeon Flux, Walk the Line, Rent, Memoirs of a Geisha, maybe Brokeback Mountain.

2005-12-12T08:59:00.000-05:00

Saw Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire weeks ago...
The Hogwarts students' acting, though somewhat rushed, was brilliant as the characters totally grasped becoming young adults with all the churning emotions as hormones seethe. The professors were appropriately frazzled. Voldemort returning is stunning...perfect even! The stunts, F/X and CGI - terrific.
That being said...
I was so hoping for this to be an awesome bridge from "A Series of Unfortunate Events" in Harry Potter's youth to manhood but instead I was left puzzled.
I am a firm believer that the book is ALWAYS better than the movie because of the author's style but more importantly the readers' imagination. However, it is an excuse to say that the book is over 700 pages and so to translate to film would be a 3+ hour movie. So much of what is important to "The Goblet of Fire" and will be crucial to the next parts of the story were omitted. From the forth book on, the plot thickens; the mystery, alliances and stakes are key. Magic only enhances the story from this point. Hermione was spot-on with her observation, "Everything's going to change now, isn't it"?
I can't help but feel that there will be a regretful game of catch-up in the next film installments. Let's hope for the best.
I still think that director Alfonso Cuaron nailed the mood, tone and pace in Prisoner of Azkaban. *hint-hint*
Nit-picky? I don't think so.

OK, Chronicles of Narnia (my favorite childhood series): The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is soon...

2005-11-30T01:04:00.000-05:00

I know that I have trust issues. I've learned a lot about trust. I try to keep myself "open" and fresh. I've noticed that I feel better keeping my self to myself. I don't question if I am weird - I am but I think that most people are "weird". Whatever that is.

2005-11-23T15:08:00.000-05:00

I just love how parents who have children younger than my own - who have done enough research to know that they don't want their kids in Public School, but not enough to know that the method of teaching most schools is more geared toward low-key kids, i.e. those that have been taught to sit quietly, be obedient and conform in institutions like McDayCares - tell me that I am probably not doing my son a "good service" by home-schooling him.
What about Socialization and the social aspects of being around other school-kids? Oh I'm sorry, you're right! I need to take my kids out of the sterile, vacuum-sealed packaging of my suburban home and neighborhood; make sure that they learn how to play and run and socialize because lord knows, I want them fucked-up, non-productive members of society. Hell no they aren't allowed any friends or fun or junk food or water! We already know that food companies don't want the responsibility of making healthy food; that the School Systems don't want the responsibility of protecting kids from other school-kids and some adults that are employed, nor the responsibility teaching them anything beyond cramming for what's in National and International Standardized tests; that it takes a village to raise a child but no Federal or State mandate or funding but God Fuckin' Bless America!
My daughter has been in the public school system since Kindergarten, is in 3rd grade now, and has had a TOTAL of TWELVE recesses - what the fuck is up with that!?
OK. I probably sound like a raving lunatic. And I am!!! AND, I'm teaching!

2005-11-19T11:46:00.000-05:00

The Other Woman – Jesse Mae Robinson
The other woman finds time to manicure her nails
The other woman is perfect where her rival fails
And she's never seen with pin curls in her hair

The other woman enchantes her clothes with French perfume
The other woman keeps fresh cut flowers in each room
There are never toys that's scattered everywhere

And when her baby comes to call
He'll find her waiting like a lonesome queen
Cos when she's by his side
It's such a change from old routine

But the other woman will always cry herself to sleep
The other woman will never have his love to keep
And as the years go by the other woman
Will spend her life alone

2005-11-19T11:34:00.000-05:00

Went to Ladies Tea, first Sunday of the month - every month at Hippo. I love to go out and dance, dance, dance. I observed but then got on the floor. I asked my sis how I looked. I usually dance Modern and Expressionist so it is not about looks but how the music makes me feel: she said I looked good. I'm glad `cause I won't change, but of course if I want to know.
Been going out quite a bit with Sis and it's been great. I love my Sister. I love my Brother, but I'm waiting for him to come back to us. Please come back. You are so in my thoughts, prayers and wishes. Both of you - all of those I have a connection to.

Racism is alive and very active in the United States of America - it's called Politically Correct.
How is calling anyone that looks Asian, Asian-American in this country any different than calling a person Oriental? It's not as if anyone is making a distinction between what Nationality they are: Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, etc...
Do we say White-American? Hell no! And to assume...grrr
I have to develop this more. I had an awesome conversation about this and I should have recorded it because I was on a roll. I'll remember it and get it down for sure.

2005-11-04T11:10:00.000-05:00

Chasing The Dragon - A.C.Smith (Ambercyn)

Chasing the dragon sounds so noble.

A shining brave knight, in the night.

Your sword a needle.

A sword-sharp needle

Piercing the skin

Is the dragon within?

Where does the human end

And the animal begin?

Much has happened in the past weeks. I've been using my creativity in my relationships. I've been getting out the minimum instead of trying to explain details. People are receptive. I've been feeling more and more confident as I see my family becoming healthy w/o my help. I've been an observer w/my own agenda only for myself. I am hopeful to slowly get them on here as I process. Very interesting to be sure...I mean for me, what the fuck do you care? heh-heh *grinz

Had a D&D gathering last Saturday. I was disappointed because I couldn't stay the whole time. Oh well. It was great because everyone seemed really happy that we were all together. Super hella cool.

Oh, did I mention before that Aqua Teen Hunger Force 2004 shows are funny as shit?!?!? I fuckin' love that cartoon!

2005-11-03T11:33:00.000-05:00

"A thing done at the wrong time should be regarded as not done". - Sanskrit Proverb

If you expect to rely on someone, you must expect that someone has the expectation that they will/can rely on you. Why do some guys/boys think that when a female asks for clarification in a relationship, it means he "owns" her?...Owning her meaning that she will put up with any and all of his shit. That it is his license to treat her poorly? It is so sad to watch...

"Every living creature on this earth dies alone". - Film Donnie Darko

2005-10-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

Dust In The Wind – Kansas; Point of Know Return
I close my eyes only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams pass before my eyes a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Now, don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind

Got rear-ended again...last night. I'm very sore, headache. The boy has a bruise on his chest from the seatbelt. Both of them are feeling soreness in their chests; when they breathe and have coughs. I'm glad I was in the Volvo, the trunk won't open and the driverside light panel is shattered, but that's it. The truck (again!) that hit me is FUBAR - the hood and fiberglass front-end is ugly. Makes very true the saying "can't hurt steel".
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Working with people who aren't as sharp as you is a challenge -- be tolerant.
Overview: A family member has wonderful news -- serious, but ultimately wonderful. If you're worried about how it's all going to turn out, don't let it show. They need your positive energy and your support.
Sister is back in town. She wants to stay for good. Her dog is the cutest and got along swimmingly w/Stazzi. I'm hurtin' but wanted to catalog events.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're a rock -- the sturdy, steady heart of your family, just like the Sun is the heart-center of our little corner of the galaxy. So now, when someone you love has something on their mind that they don't feel comfortable sharing with just anyone, they'll be absolutely sure to come to you first -- and you'll be just as sure to go all out to help keep them on track.

2005-10-20T09:17:00.000-04:00

Mother Earthly Cleansing
Been watching a show w/kiddies about the Iron Age. Very cool. A Druid made a sweat-lodge and heated the stones and the clan had a sweat. I miss sweating. Of course I am used to the Native American tradition but it didn't seem that much different at all. I so miss it. Where we live, we aren't allowed to make an open bonfire...but I have been looking into a few things. We have an outdoor fireplace - I could set that up as the fire pit for the stones. All of the trees surrounding the house, I could find a private place to bow a few boughs and place blankets over to make the lodge; a tarp over it all for waterproofing. That would be a fun place for the kiddies to use as a fort when we're not using. I think I could do it. I really miss sweating; getting closer to the Earth, my roots; cleansing my body mind and soul. It is an unbelievable way of achieving all of that - very spiritual. Samhain is coming up too...

2005-10-13T10:12:00.000-04:00

Double-digits and now...
Another milestone. The boy asked if The Toothfaery was real. I asked if he really wanted to know? "Well, do you put the tooth under my pillow at night"? HA! Easy answer! "No", I said. He continued wondering if it were we that took his tooth and put money underneath his pillow at night? "Yes", says his father. Wow! He was direct! Later, he asked me if that was a bad thing? "HAHAHAHA - NO"! LOL
Very tired last night. Went to be earlier than ever - 2200. Li'l Man was still up - contemplating. Dad gave Boy a dollar and asked for his tooth. He absorbed that; got a tad misty. I told him that I believed in the Toothfaery for a long time. That's why I continued the tradition, because it was magical. He said thanks for that AND for tellin' him 'the secret'. I mentioned that I was older than him still believing in the Toothfaery. We all hugged & kissed; you're welcome. Now, time for bed. He was out within 15minutes.

2005-10-10T13:54:00.000-04:00

the people that we love: bush; golden state

Speed kills coming down the mountain :: Speed kills coming down the street :: Speed kills with presence of mind and :: Speed kills if you know what I mean :: Got to feel - woke up inside again :: Got to feel less broke more fixed :: Got to feel when I got outside myself :: Got to feel when I touched your lips :: The things we do to the people that we love :: The way we break if there's something we can't take :: Destroy the world that we took so long to make :: We expect her gone for some time :: I wish her safe from harm :: To find yourself in a foreign land :: Another refugee outsider refugee :: How's it feel she's coming up roses :: How's it feel she's coming up sweet :: How's it feel when it's all in spite of you :: How's it feel when she's out of your reach :: The things we do to the people that we love :: The way we break if there's something in the way :: Destroy the world that we took so long to make :: We expect her gone for some time :: I wish her safe from harm :: To find yourself in a foreign land :: Another refugee outsider refugee :: What happened to you

I don't think many, if any, guys still have respect for a woman after cheating. I think women can - but that is all in the woman. I think it's easier for guys not to respect because of all the permissible sexism and objectivism Society is OK about. From past experience, I've noticed it isn't until a woman is gone that it's realized, oops shouldn't have done "that". Whatever the "that" is that makes her leave. "That" specific to her though - maybe another her will be OK with "that".

testosterone: bush: sixteen stone
i'm a man :: i'm real proud of my manhood :: i like to smoke :: ten thousand cigarillos :: eight ball :: i could climb any fountain :: i never cry :: i only bawl when i'm losing :: and i've never been wrong :: never been wrong :: i'm looking so good :: looking so good

got a big gold gun :: got a big gold gun :: and i guess you could say :: i'm real full of it :: i'm real full of it :: i'm real straight :: you wanna see my peccadillos :: hot dog 7:30 every morning :: and i'm big into war :: big into war :: big into war

i am a whore :: i am a whore

got a big gold gun :: i shave with Gillette :: i shave with Gillette :: and i'm patting my back :: patting my back :: got a big gold gun

2005-10-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

Just a taste of what can be found on the 'net...Legal objectification of women...It's OK to think it as long as you don't say it within a "ho's" earshot.
MATURE HOUSEMAID ENJOYING HUGE YOUNG COCK - click to see more...
MOTHER DAUGHTER FUCK .COM - Imagine how great it would be to fuck two generations of sluts with perfect tits!
KATHY DOES BLACKS .COM: Unbelievable acts of interracial perversion - enter here...
EXWIVES: Newly divorced, these girls want REVENGE and they're getting in the naughtiest ways they can think of. See them getting revenged on their husbands! - click here for the action...
KARA'S ADULT PLAYGROUND - I need you to fuck my tight asshole! - click here...
GIRLS GETTING LAID BY HER DAD'S FRIENDS - click here...
YOUNG DIRTY SLUTS - enter here
INNOCENT TEEN WHORES FORCED TO HAVE ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL SEX ACTS! - click here now...
FREE FACEFUCK GALLERY: Click Here To Find Someone To Fuck In MARYLAND Or Anywhere In The USA
BIG COCKS SPLITTING TINY PUSSYS

I try to watch these things. I want to understand the appeal. Can a male respect any female - the "steady/girlfriend/wife" OR the one that is called a "facefucked babe"? Well, Kathy and Kara want it apparently. I mean, it works better that way - derogatory comments don't sting as much if it's on one's terms. Now, I wonder, what are my terms? I've closed that side of myself because I see that it isn't an integral part of my soul, however, it seems to be for men. I want to know how it feels to just give into any and every sexual desire that strikes me at any given moment. Will it make me feel powerful? Will it make me respect men more for what they give to me? Will I become numb to the barrage of sex laid before me? I do wonder. It is only a matter of opening that door and allowing myself. So much of myself that I've sacrificed because I thought it was the right thing - a way of showing trust. Now I realize that trust doesn't really mean shit. People are only honest when they see it as a means to get what they want - to assuage someone else's intuitive vibrations...

2005-10-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

Went to Ocean City last weekend. Fun. Endless Summer Cruisin' - people showin' off their classic cars. Someone made the comment that American's love their cars. I've noticed that many countries like American's cars. Very cool. The care taken and effort shown to keep these cars that are 30 - 50+ years old.

2005-10-05T13:29:00.000-04:00

Again, I don't believe that Astrology is "true"...I mean come on, it's saying the stars are able to predict your life's events; but there are those times when the readings are dead-on...
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Emotional intensity can be uncomfortable -- but holding back may be a mistake.
Overview: There aren't too many people brave (or foolhardy) enough to challenge you -- and if anyone should know better, it's your partner. Emotions are funny things, though. They're totally unpredictable and even more spontaneous. Prepare to do battle. Just in case
Taurus
Daily: You've been doing some long, hard thinking, you've got plenty to say, and it's all quite intense. In fact, you're also up for a bit of detective work, even -- no, especially -- when it comes to an intimate relationship. Now, because this is an intimate relationship, someone may erroneously think they 'have you where they want you.' Of course, you'll be the person in the perfect position. If you want to be fair, mention that at the outset of the conversation. Or not ....

2005-10-04T11:14:00.000-04:00

Me Poem

When consumed by my private hell,

I secretly go into my shell and

though I look the same outside,

inside I work to calm the tide...

A-

Getting better; workin' on it; have been pretty much on point w/my "gut" feelings - no real surprise there.
Receptive; listening & hearing; realization; seemingly a want to please me / hold me/ love me/ trust me/ obey me - of course all to my liking.
Been ruminating - wondering if I'm doing the right thing for myself - for us.
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Does that mean this last chance makes me STUPID?
Oh I hope not.
What is taken for weakness in a woman is exactly what is her strength. It is undervalued, unappreciated and unrespected. It is taken for granted and seen as soft. Do people not understand that if it weren't for this enduring quality of endurance & loyalty & power, individuality would never find cohesion with others?
I feel myself getting hard and not wanting to share my strength anymore. I need it for myself - for my kids. Too many trying to suck it out, take it by coersion and force, wear it for their own like a wolf in sheep's skin. My faith has already waned; just don't believe - seen too much; know too much. One more time and then I'll shrink my sphere.
See me / Feel me / Touch me / Heal me

2005-09-18T14:05:00.000-04:00

Thank you for your help.
Taurus - Daily: Quit it with the nice guy act, okay? There's a big difference between being nice and kind, after all. With the former, usually you're just trying to get everyone to like you. With the latter, you're doing or saying what is genuinely in the best interests of all the parties involved, even though it may not be the easiest route to take. You're nice when you want to appease other people, but when you're kind, you're being true to yourself.
Scorpio - Daily: Someone needs your help, but they're feeling far too proud and fragile to actually come out and -- gulp -- ask for it. Be a Good Samaritan and do a little behind-the-scenes work on their behalf. No matter what, don't share the news of what you did. Not only are there a few loose-lipped types who'd be only too glad to blab to all interested parties, but you'd be thwarting the true meaning of charity. Act discreetly and swiftly.

2005-09-17T12:26:00.000-04:00

What a freakin' strange thing @ Hot or Not - I put author name Christa Faust in my keywords and it was rejected. I did a kw search and apparently no one has it in their profile so it must be something "risque". I was reminded again that HoN is a PG site. ha!
As busy as Life seems to be, the days are smearing into the other leaving nothing but a pool of mixed-up madness. Escape! Struggle to understand and balance the sad norm. One can grow accustomed and live in any situation. It is what it is. Disgruntled. Mistrustful. Worn down. Don't worry be happy is a fucking lie.

Exploited

Now what is it?
Shi feels so lonely and it shows. Can't hide it. Doesn't want to. Please don't do this, Shi thinks. Only an hour or two before they can slip among the covers seemingly so close but the bond they share is a tender thread stretching between a million mile void.
Why is there always something wrong?
Yell, Scream, Shout, Cuss, Stomp, Punch! these actions run through her mind. Maybe one of them would finally make him receptive and see how he's draining her. Now matter how many times, how direct, in a letter or verbalized, Shi states the problem - he doesn't hear. The real issues he just stares. The ones he thinks will make everything go back, he cries and apologizes. Then it's over.
He feels cleansed, penitent - washed in the blood...

Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day; American Idiot
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends
wake me up when september ends

Give Me Novocaine - Green Day; American Idiot
Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
It's like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novocaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I’ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novocaine

Oh Novocaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
And everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novocaine

Whatshername - Green Day; American Idiot
Thought I ran into you down on the street
Then it turned out to only be a dream

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how Whatshername has been...

Seems that she disappeared without a trace
Did she ever marry ol' Whatshisface?

I made a point to burn all of the photographs
She went away and then I took a different path
I remember the face but I can't recall the name
Now I wonder how Whatshername has been...

Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
Remember, whatever
It seems like forever ago
The regrets are useless
In my mind
She's in my head
I must confess
The regrets are useless
She's in my head
From so long ago

(Go, Go, Go, Go...)

And in the darkest light
If my memory serves me right
I'll never turn back time
Forgetting you but not the time.

Letterbomb - Green Day; American Idiot
...
She said I can't take this place
I'm leaving it behind

Well she said I can't take this town
I'm leaving you tonight

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: You think you can get more done alone, but it's not true. Reach for a helping hand.
Overview: Need to figure out an exit strategy? Why not run it by one of your closest pals? Not only do they know you inside and out, but they'll be able to bring their own unique point of view to help you cover any patchy spots.
Taurus -Daily: Your grip on reality may not be quite as firm as it has been in the past. While this fires you up in the creative realm (and may give you some inspiration for finding a solution for a long-standing problem), it's not a great time for risky business when it comes to love or money. No matter how sure-fire a scheme or a prospect seems, if you jump in without thinking, you may live to regret it. Err on the side of caution, and then err on that side some more.
Leo -Daily: Lookin' for love in all the wrong places? Maybe it's time to halt the search for the moment and figure out what it is you really want from the relationship question. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship, personal or professional relationship -- if it's causing you an inordinate amount of fuss, it's time to examine what's at the foundation of it, what you expect to get from it, and what exactly you put into it. Getting some clarity on your motives will help resolve any tension.

2005-09-15T09:30:00.000-04:00

It's hard to "know" when something is or isn't gonna work. I try and I try but I can't get no satisfaction. The house, the kids, the pets, the laundry, the lawn...
He does work hard and try hard - As do I.
I have quite a list of people I need to call and chat with. I've been a bit neglectful on that. I'm glad that my family and friends forgive me or I'd be a lonely bitch. People expect it - I like to disappear. heh My writing is also not on a time-table so when I get that burst of creative intellect that I can get out of my head and onto paper/recorder/PC, I jump on it.
Had a good night last night. Dude and I seem to have found a neutral territory. That isn't too hard though; we've known each other for so long, are so physically comfortable, so compatible together...we can sit and have an evening of joking around and meta-discussion/debate. We just can't talk about 'us'. Fucked up ain't it?

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Others are acting weird around you, but they are only trying to get a reaction.
Overview: 'Don't get mad -- get even.' Tempting, isn't it? However, the backlash and psychic hangover from such a course of action really isn't worth it. If things are just too strange, breathe deeply and learn to roll with the punches for now.
Leo
Daily extended: It's hard to let go of an old relationship, whether it's a friend you've known since kindergarten or someone you see on a daily basis. However, if the situation is getting more and more uncomfortable, and you two are getting less and less enjoyment from each other's company, it's time to evaluate what's going on with a clear and cool head. It's nobody's fault -- in fact, it's quite normal. You're just growing in different directions.

2005-09-15T01:22:00.000-04:00

...and the days are long with much to do. It doesn't seem like there will ever be a break. Setting up the home office and teaching and managing the kids AND my own social lives. I've noticed I've been spending too much time in my current habitat - makes me edgy and irritable - I need the time to interact without the responsibility. Fat chance! Being a mother is much more than fixing meals, making sure clothing & shelter are included. Time, patience, love, understanding, patience, "hearing" as well as listening, patience, jokes, laughs, humor, compassion, patience...

2005-09-09T07:53:00.000-04:00

AP: Science
A few that I liked...
Genes Show Signs Brain Still Evolving - Scientists say the findings are still controversial. The superiority complex that many humans have, ever bothers the shit outta me! Who are we to think that we are "the best" animals, created and otherwise? It baffles my mind this self-importance of our species and to think we even go as far as to say we're the smartest, at the pinnacle of the evolutionary chart? fucking idiots we are for sure...

Pensacola Opposes Contaminated Soil Plan - PENSACOLA, Fla. - The city council has voted unanimously to oppose the federal government's plan to leave mounds of contaminated soil untreated at a former wood treating plant.~~ Is anyone surprised? I think the soil should be used to keep the grounds at the White House and various other FedGov officials. Ooooh, how does your garden "glow"!

Estimates Put Wolf Numbers Up in Rockies - BILLINGS, Mont. - The number of gray wolves in the Northern Rockies has increased to more than 900 since last year, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service estimated Tuesday.

2005-09-08T09:19:00.000-04:00

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Don't be scared of your deepest emotions -- it's essential to feel, understand them.
Overview: Everyone's clamoring for your opinion and your attention, and you're more than willing to lend an ear when you can. Go ahead and soak up all the attention -- earthy types like yourself love all this contact with people.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)If your emotions were a bank, you might be feeling just a touch overdrawn right now; remember that while it's always nice to feel a little nostalgia for days of yore, you're really not helping yourself by staying stuck in the past. In fact, you may actually be missing a wonderful opportunity by not being fully present in the here and now. Not only is the present moment pretty great, but your future could be bright indeed -- if you can get out of your memories.

"Love To Be Loved" – Peter Gabriel; US

(Aaaaahi, byeeee)
So, you know how people are
When it's all gone much too far
The way their minds are made
Still, there's something you should know
That I could not let show
That fear of letting go

And in this moment, I need to be needed
With this darkness all around me, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear, I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved [x2]
Yes, I love to be loved

I cry the way that babies cry
The way they can't deny
The way they feel
Words, they climb all over you
'Til they uncover you
From where you hide

And in this moment, I need to be needed
When my self-esteem is sinking, I like to be liked
In this emptiness and fear,
I want to be wanted
'Cause I love to be loved
I love to be loved [x2]
Oh I love to be loved

This old familiar craving
I've been here before, this way of behaving
Don't know who the hell I'm saving anymore
Let it pass let it go let it leave
From the deepest place I grieve
This time I believe

And I let go [x2]
I can let go of it
Though it takes all the strength in me
And all the world can see
I'm losing such a central part of me
I can let go of it
You know I mean it
You know that I mean it
I recognize how much I've lost
But I cannot face the cost
'Cause I love to be loved

Yes I love to be loved
I love to be loved
[x3]

I love to be loved
I love to be loved
Yes I love to be loved

2005-09-06T22:08:00.000-04:00

CAKE - Never There Lyrics
I need your arms around me,
I need to feel your touch,
I need your understanding, I need your love,
So much,

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you, (BABY)
Baby, (You're never there),

On the phone,
Long long distance,
Always through such,
Strong resistance,

When first you say,
You're too busy,
I wonder if you,
Even miss me,

Never there,
You're never there,
You're never, ever,
Ever ever there. Hey!

A golden bird that flies away,
A candle's fickle flame,
To think I held you yesterday,
Your love was just a game,

A golden bird that flies away,
A candle's fickle flame,
To think I held you yesterday,
Your love was just a game,

You tell me that you love me so,
You tell me that you care,
But when I need you, (BABY)
Baby,

Take the time,
To get to know me,
If you want me,
Why can't you just show me,

We're always on,
This roller coaster,
If you want me,
Why can't you get closer,

Never there,
You're never there,
You're never, ever,
Ever ever there,

Never there,
You're never there,
You're never, ever,
Ever ever there

Only - Nine Inch Nails; With Teeth
I'm becoming less defined as days go by
Fading away
Well you might say
I'm losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract
In terms of how I see myself

Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes I can see right through myself

Less concerned
About fitting into the world
Your world that is
Cause it doesn't really matter anymore

No it really doesn't matter anymore
No it really doesn't matter anymore

None of this really matters anymore

Yes i'm alone
But then again I always was
As far back as I can tell
I think maybe
It's because you were never really real
To begin with

I just wake you up to hurt myself
I just wake you up to hurt myself
Yeah
And I just wake you up to hurt myself
I just wake you up to hurt myself
Yeah
And I just wake you up to hurt myself

And it worked
Yes it did!

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me

Only me
Only me
Only me
Only me

The tiniest little dot caught my eye
And it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling
Like I just knew it's something bad

I just couldn't leave it alone
Picking at the scab
Love is a doorway
Trying to see itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I'm somewhere
I am not supposed to be
And I can see things
I knew I really shouldn't see

And now I know why
Now
Now
Now I know

Things aren't as pretty
On the inside

There is no you
There is only me
There is no you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me
There is no fucking you
There is only me

Only [8x]

2005-09-06T21:39:00.000-04:00

Stars - Switchfoot; Nothing is Sound

Maybe I've been the problem
Maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself
The outcome feels the same

I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy
Maybe I'm the chance of rain
And maybe I'm overcast
And maybe all my luck's washed down the drain

I've been thinking 'bout everyone,
Everyone you look so lonely
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself

Stars looking at a planet
Watching entropy and pain
And maybe to start to wonder
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane

I've been thinking 'bout the meaning of resistance
Of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent
Begin to look like home

I've been thinking about everyone
Everyone you look so empty
But when I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I see someone else
When I look at the stars
The stars, I feel like myself.
Yeah!

Everyone, Everyone feels so lonely
Everyone, yeah everyone feels so empty
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars
When I look at the stars, I feel like myself
When I look at the stars
The stars, I see someone...

2005-09-06T19:46:00.000-04:00

An observation I made - I like the ocean/beach/waves much more than pool because I have to make my own fun pooling, while the ocean is interactive. Having the existential beliefs I do, I like to cautiously play with and watch nature/chaos as I've also noticed that it's once we try to control chaos, things go wrong. But if not available, I'll make my own fun.

2005-09-06T08:51:00.000-04:00

Come Talk to Me – Peter Gabriel; US
...

Won’t you please talk to me
If you’d just talk to me
Unblock this misery
If you’d only talk to me

{chorus 2:}
Don’t you ever change your mind
Now your future’s so defined
And you act so deaf and blind
[and you act so deaf so blind]
Come on, come talk to me
Come talk to me [x2]

I can imagine the moment
Breaking out through the silence
All the things that we both might say
And the heart it will not be denied
’til we’re both on the same damn side
All the barriers blown away

I said please talk to me
Won’t you please come talk to me
Just like it used to be
Come on, come talk to me
I did not come to steal
This all is so unreal
Can you show me how you feel now
Come on, come talk to me
Come talk to me [x2]

...

Leo
Daily extended: Agreeing just to try and get along with everyone doesn't really help and usually just hurts. It's time to know your own mind and voice your opinions. What are you agreeing to? What do you really want to do? Do you believe in what's being said, or do you have a completely different take on the situation? Think about these questions and start asserting yourself. Others may be startled initially, but they'll respect you more.

2005-09-04T18:25:00.000-04:00

OOOh, and I've been doing just this very thing this weekend...without reading my horoscope! *beaming
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Don't by shy about showing affection. Kisses and hugs will say what you can't.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Your magnetism has been slowly but surely heating up, and right now it's about to come to a full boil. Few can resist your sultry self even at your lowest ebb, but at a time like this when your charisma is practically off the charts, you can talk the birds down from the trees. Now the only question is where to aim all this dazzling charm. Be generous and share it with everyone who crosses your path.

2005-09-03T10:16:00.000-04:00

I think I've read damn near every fairytale and version out there. I still read children's books to recommend to my kids; I'm glad they're getting older so I can move up too but I've found plenty of " new classics" for all ages to be sure.
Adult books, ha! Imagine being 13 going to a Christian Bible camp for the week, as a dishwasher because you've outgrown the camp age but still love it, with Stephen King's It in your backpack.
I read and skim and peruse and re-read - to myself, out loud, give recommendations, discuss, etc. I just love it. Found a few recently that share my interests which of course I love!

Uncanny!
Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny (City Paper)
Taurus: You have the potential to be a great wizard in the coming week. Here's how to fulfill that promise: 1) Renounce grandiose fantasies of transforming lead into gold or frogs into soul mates. 2) Think small, be specific, get extremely pragmatic, and don't make up stories based on inconclusive evidence. 3) Take everything that's dreamy and hazy and bring it down to earth. 4) Don't bitch about limitations; love them and use them to your advantage. 5) Treat idealism as a distraction unless it can be translated into concrete acts that do some good for actual human beings.
Leo: Do you have total confidence in your ability to swing laun chairs around with your teeth? Can you safely eat broken glass, withstand people riding bicycles over your belly, and smash bricks with your head? If so, you don't need my advice this week. But if you're not sure you're capable of pulling off the kinds of feats I names, please resist the temptation to try them. For that matter, don't even think of submitting to other strenuous tests that are at the edge of your ability. This is a time for you to lay low and recharge, not throw yourself into trials by fire. Be modest and self-protective, not brazen and reckless.
Libra: "If the Angel decides to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears buy by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner". So said the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, as if speaking to your exact needs right now. Let me offer this addendum: The Angel wants to come very badly. She is passionate about offering you the novel assistance she has dreamed up just for you.
Capricorn: There's a connection between al-Qaida and actor Kevin Bacon, according to Tatsuya Ishida at SinFest. Al-Aaida was trained by the CIA, he says, which was established by President Harry Truman, who dropped the atom bomb cooked up by the Manhattan Project, which was the name of a movie starring John Lithgow, who was in the film Footloose with Kevin Bacon. I invite you to make liberal use of this kind of logic in the coming days. The astrological omens say it will be healthy for you to let your imagination run away with you as long as you don't take as gospel truth all the conclusions it leads you to. So please feel free to ramble down the fine line between creative storytelling and total BS.

Oh, and I've noticed how "hip" it's becoming to catch-up w/the rest of the world - everywhere, I've been seeing FILM in the place of movies.

2005-09-03T10:01:00.000-04:00

What one says and how one acts...
When the two are opposite, it is telling...
How one broaches, if one should broach, is a quandry...
Where the mind goes wandering... "I do not desire to make windows into men's souls". - QE
Why ask, "Who"?

It's just ... Oh A-, just let it flow... to the Otherside.

Oh My! Yesterday was... funny! Dude invited Red to listen to newly mixed album. He was talking about the process of recording and mixing and such while we were listening and I made comment that it was a bit fucked-up that I wasn't allowed at the studio. Dude made comment that "No One" was allowed. I came right back with, G-, a male, cousin to JP - guitarist, was there; Dude nodded. Red said chuckling, "Oh, that's fucked up! She hangs out with the guys and she's one of the guys...". Dude said it would change things. I stated that I was not like the rest of the "girls" that the "guys" have settled with and I've been 'in' the band longer. Dude kinda smiled and said to be sure! The other SO's were NOT like me in anyway. So Red chimed in again that I'm one of the guys and hang with the guys. Dude paused and with that I threw in my 2 cents: Obviously not with THOSE guys am I one of the guys...It's all good, I got My Crew! and yes, I glowered a bit...Red laughed and so did we all. During the whole conversation, God bless Red, she was able to fit a few observations that I should be included.
*grin That's what I needed. Insecure, petty or something? Nah, just tired of being that conveniently overlooked Classic Girl, is all...
What is the equivalent? WTF?! OHHHH, you mean weight? Lemme get back to ya.
Dude figured it out, not me. I'm terrible, I mismeasure often, number occasionally off...never with money, ha! I know I should be able to accurately on my own *tsk-tsking one-tenth of an Oz : 2.8 grams...

2005-09-02T12:57:00.000-04:00

I have so much to do, I have to carry on...I wonder if this grief will ever let me go...I want to cook me a soup that warms my soul...
Love. When does one know it, feel it, taste it, touch it, smell it? How? Why? Is it necessary? It is a human trait to put a name/label on something, especially the intangible. What if 'they' got it wrong? What if it isn't what we've been told it is and all this time I've thought it was something it wasn't and never was in the first place? Is love really a rush of enorphins that makes a person feel good and want more? Is love a sense of closeness with another? Or forever wanting a person intertwined? Is love caring? More? Is love always a positive entity; enriching and fulfilling? Can love make one feel empty and cold? Can I get through Life without "love"? Questions, questions... Don't let the queries in my head, spilled onto this site fool you - meta- questions and analyzations energize me.

Taurus
Daily extended: Your ego gets a boost from some confidence-building celestial influences, and just in the nick of time, too -- you're able to tackle any delays or complications without getting your feathers ruffled. In fact, as you face these challenges without even a single hair out of place, some might ask, 'How do you do it?' Let them in on your secret: Deep breathing and the ability to take the long view are all it takes to address any bump in the road.

2005-09-01T13:17:00.000-04:00

I've been wondering why I understand and sometimes write in a European fashion & spelling...I read. Anything and everything. But more-so is the fact that I was gifted 5 books as a child by my mother's friend gave for Christmas. These books, selected works by specific authors, were published in GB - 1978 and reprinted in Czechoslovakia - 1978. What is very interesting is that 2 of the books are Mark Twain and Louisa May Alcott; American writers and yet using Brit Spelling.
I hadn't even realised this but once I had, it was a surprise. Heh! I would sometimes get Spelling incorrect because of how I wrote it. oh well...

2005-08-31T21:34:00.000-04:00

Today is my boy's 10th birthday. It is amazing that he's been roaming the earth this long. It doesn't seem like that much time has passed and yet it has. And tomorrow, he'll be a grown-ass man...
Time flies when you're raising kids! It's fun, but not the kind of fun, say playing basketball with your friends, it's more a roller-coaster kinda fun...aren't sure of the twists and turns, some parts make one feel a bit ill, it's thrilling and exciting and scary and when it's over (it's never over) one is compelled to do it again. Ha! No way, factory is closed here, but I know this is an experience that I'll never walk away from; never regret a moment of it, though I may have some guilt over mistakes. I've learned a lot and grown wiser raising my kids; they've taught me a much and reminded me of wonder and mystery. Beautiful.

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Humility is an underrated virtue. Don't forget the pleasures of modesty.
Overview: You know those days where you just aren't yourself? This is one of them. You might even be impulsive! Just make sure to be a bit cautious. This is not the time for any big decisions.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You may feel as if your nose isn't just put to the grindstone -- it's more like it's been glued there. Keep up your heroic efforts, though, and you'll see your work come to fruition and then some. There may be some tasks that require Herculean amounts of strength, but you're more than capable of getting them out of the way. After all, big triumphs usually require big amounts of energy. You know you're up to the task, so have faith that you can get it done.

2005-08-29T07:45:00.000-04:00

What is this about friggin' food?!?! I'm not having much trouble there. I mean yeah, I've been in a "food mood" but I've been eating healthy. Dude bought Krispy Kreme doughnuts on Saturday and total, I've had 3...2 of them were specifically for me: lemon filled yuuummmmm.
Other than that...not much junk. However, I do need to get out frustrations though I am very happy not to feel low like some of my friends are. Call me & glad we talked. Food isn't the only thing I can metabolise well.
First day of school today. Gotta walk the girl to school. Already set w/my lesson plan for the boy. whoopee!
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Are you biting back your feelings, only to feel frustrated later? Talk them out now.
Overview: Doesn't your body deserve the best? So why are you feeding it fast food and potato chips and all other kinds of junk? Clean up your eating habits and see if that doesn't affect multiple other areas of your life.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)A fantastic bargain awaits, but you'll have to go out of your way to find it. Scorn malls and chain stores and seek out the delightfully odd and hidden. Haunt flea markets, garage sales and make a point of going out of the way to any boutiques or specialty stores that you've always been curious about. Something fabulous out there is seeking you, but you have to be open to receiving it. Stay curious. - I don't go to malls and chain stores for my clothing searches - ewww. No, it's usually garage/yard sales, Goodwill, "odd" shops, Alko. I really detest the mall.

2005-08-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

I've not been having a problem with food, but I do need nourishment...
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Trust yourself. Learn to believe your instincts, and you'll make the right choices.
Overview: Committing yourself to something for the long term because it's what everyone else does has never been your thing. Remember that if someone starts pressuring you to say yes before you're ready.
Taurus
Daily extended: Are you eating because you're hungry or chowing down for other, perhaps more emotional, reasons? As one of the earthier and more grounded signs of the zodiac, you can respond to stress via your body, and overindulging in food is one of the easiest ways to do that. However, make sure you need those calories and aren't simply trying to feed your anxiety so it'll be quiet. Find a way to nourish your body and soul in appropriate ways

2005-08-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

Why men don't listen...
When women are speaking at great length, men tend to tune them out. Now men have a scientific excuse. Females voices, a new study finds, are more complex than male voices, making men's brains work harder when listening to them. The shape and size of female vocal cords and larynx lead women to speak with greater range of sound frequencies than men. Women also naturally have more melody in their voices. Listening to female voices activates the auditory center of a man's brain, which must analyse the different sounds at the same time he's interpreting the words. Men process other male voices in a different portion of the brain. The study also helps explain why people who hear voices generally only hear male voices, British researcher Michal Hunter tells Discovery.com. "The brain would find it much harder to creat a false female voice accurately than a false male voice".

2005-08-24T19:04:00.000-04:00

I know I got it in me. I am an organized person...just gotta do it.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)It seems like being pragmatic and being creative are two items that are in opposition, but that's far from the case -- and you're living proof that both can coexist happily. In fact, it goes beyond coexisting -- these two qualities actually help each other. Your practical side makes sure you have everything done so you can go and create a masterpiece, and your creativity ensures that everything that's a must-do gets done with a certain flair.

*chanting mantra - Don't Think Just Do, Don't Think Just Do, don't think just do, don'tthinkjustdo,dontthinkjustdodontthi...

2005-08-23T20:50:00.000-04:00

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Take your time and mind your manners. Your mother's advice still applies.
Overview: Security is a fantastic thing, but not when it leads to you feeling stifled and bored. So if things have been a tad too safe and not nearly as stimulating as you require, do something about it. Now.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Something or someone is telling you to go, go, go, but your innately stubborn nature comes to the rescue and balks at being told to hurry. You'll go at your own pace, and you'll get there in your own sweet time. You're absolutely right about that, so stick to your guns, no matter how frantic someone else seems. Just because they're in a panic is no reason to get in one, too. You'll soon see the wisdom of your choice, and so will they.
LOL... so true for my day today.
And for my friend...
Capricorn
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Bring a fresh approach to an old problem. It's important that you don't apply the 'usual' methods to solving this current conundrum -- after all, if the problem is back in your life, that method didn't work too well the first time, did it? So do a headstand, ask a kid for their take on the situation -- do something, anything, to get you out of your current mindset and give you a fresh outlook on whatever it is you're grappling with right now.

2005-08-22T19:07:00.000-04:00

I am alive...I will survive.
Don't worry about nuthin' I'm chillin' and keepin' on movin'.

2005-08-20T23:51:00.000-04:00

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Speak frankly with someone whom you trust. You'll see a change.
Overview: Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water .... Fortunately for you, a good friend comes along and points out that it's still teeming with (metaphorically, of course) sharks. Thank them for their help.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Big ideas abound. You're feeling inspired and ready to change your life -- and possibly the world while you're at it. (Hey, why not? You're a pretty industrious type.) Rather than worry about implementing all these theories right away, take some time to mull them over. Let your mind feel free to explore all the avenues of possibility rather than trying to set boundaries and solidify plans right away. Make sure you have a pen to write everything down.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)They look great, they say all the right things and then there's just that magic connection you two have. Hold on there, partner. Look before you leap, especially if you're considering diving into some deep emotional waters. If you're not careful, you could seriously bump your head, especially if this person turns out to be just a touch more shallow than you thought. Reserve judgment and action until you know them better.
Scorpio
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)In order to achieve it, first you have to dream it. Go ahead and let your imagination have free rein. Keep a dream journal, see an exotic and unusual art exhibit; basically, try an activity that's beyond your usual scope of experience to stimulate your creativity and give you plenty of material to draw upon as you think about what's next on your horizon. Your sign needs lots of stimulation to keep your interest from flagging, so seek it out.
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)A cloud of goodwill may be temporarily turning everything in your sight rosy and glowing, so beware of making any long-term decisions that will seriously impact your future. If someone presses you for an answer, let them know that you need to wait until you're good and ready before deciding. Wait until this influence passes and you're able to view things with a more detached perspective and a slightly more jaundiced eye.
Capricorn
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)The stars give your creativity a dose of high-octane gas, so rev 'er up and let 'er go. It's time to break out your sketchpad, clay, clarinet -- whatever it is that lets you noodle around and explore all kinds of artistic avenues. You're sure to feel inspired with these kinds of celestial influences. In fact, you may have so much fun playing around with this 'hobby' that you look for ways to incorporate it into your regular, everyday life.

2005-08-19T10:07:00.000-04:00

We talked - for the better? I sure hope so, this is wearing me down...
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Subtract the attitude, and that former antagonist might be quite a sweetie.
Overview: Cleaning up after careless people is no fun. What's even less fun is feeling -- and acting like -- a martyr. If you're doing more than your fair share (and have been for a while) say something, quick!
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Ouch! Someone's working their way under your skin and trying to provoke you. Rather than being irritated by what you see as their needless rebellion, take a step back and a deep breath and view things objectively. Could it be that they actually have a point? Would changing your mind and your ways on this matter actually benefit you in the long run? These are all very good questions to consider.
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You've got energy and imagination to spare, and when it comes to the social scene, you're the tops. No one need fear an awkward silence as long as you're around spreading your special brand of goodwill and evenhanded charm. Your honest enjoyment of people always ensures a good time, and that goes double today. You can turn the lunch line at your local sandwich shop into a party with graciousness and ease.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)'Impish' is one way to describe the current behavior of your nearest and dearest. 'Annoying' is another. What's gotten into your friends and family? It seems like they're being contrary simply for the sake of needling each other (and you). Whatever the reason, try and let it roll off your back. In order to avoid a full-on flameout with someone you care about, resolve to turn the other cheek and ignore their bizarre behavior.
Capricorn
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)It's tempting to tinker with something, but your efforts to do so might raise a whole Greek chorus of no's, especially when you're considering making changes to a well-oiled machine such as yourself. Reassure folks that you won't be changing the substance of who you are or what you do, but a definite style refresher might be due. After all, it'll keep you from getting bored and get you ready to face new challenges. What could be better?

2005-08-18T19:36:00.000-04:00

A great many people fall in love with or feel attracted to a person who offers the least possibility of a harmonious union. - Rudolf Dreikurs

If we judge love by the majority of its results, it rather resembles hatred than friendship. - Rochelfoucauld

The worst, the least curable hatred is that which has superseded deep love. - Euripides

2005-08-18T19:29:00.000-04:00

For You - sayings of Friedrich Neitzsche:
If married couples did not live together, happy marriages would be more frequent.

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.

None are more struck with the charms of virtue in the fair sex than those who, by their very admiration of it, are carried to a desire of ruining it. - Joseph Addison

Men are so made that they can resist sound argument, and yet yield to a glance. - Honore De Balzac

2005-08-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

I feel like he places no value in what I say or offer as advice or 'something'. Or he takes my words, puts his _spin_ on it and then it becomes his. If this is what being a Classic Girl is, nevermind - I'm don't wanna be a Classic Girl.
But it breaks my heart when he disregards my carefully considered observations and/or ignores them completely and/or acts like he hears but does nothing.
I'd be lying if I said I havent't disconnected a bit already - to be fully 'there' in the bullshit...I'd be almost nonfunctional or I'd explode. But him? - he's fine when I pretend nothing is wrong so what does that say about you _attached_ he is.
And I can't pretend anymore. It is too painful. I feel like it oozes off me anyway.

Taurus
extended: What happens in a tug-of-war if one of the equally matched opponents simply drops the rope? Well, it means that the struggle is over, for one. Evaluate what you may be tussling over. Is this really that important, or are you engaged in this push-me-pull-you contest simply because you're caught up in the conflict and can't let it go? While your stubbornness can come in handy, this may be one moment to put it aside.
Leo
extended: If someone tries to enlist you in their little drama, just say no -- you can always get a subscription to your local theater if you need to have any extra sturm und drang in your life. Don't succumb, no matter how tempting it is to wade in there with the big guns and sort everything out. You've got things to sort out that need your care and attention, so tend your own garden rather than trying to pull out the weeds from everyone else's..

I don't think he cares about me.
I don't think he respects me.
I feel like he hates me.
I feel like there is only one thing he sees me for.
I won't fuck so I have no use in his world.
I'm tired of feeling like this.
It hurts so much.
And still, unless I say something about 'IT', nothing is mentioned.
I never thought it would be like this between us.
And here it is.
YMI here?

2005-08-17T23:55:00.000-04:00

Taurus
extended: Get outside. If possible, stay outside all day. Too many hours cooped up indoors can lead you to feeling disconnected with the things that really matter, and your sign more than most needs regular contact with nature. If you've got something to mull over, take a hike (literally) and do your thinking around a lot of trees. You'll find that all that natural growth makes your thoughts grow in surprising and enlightening ways.

2005-08-16T15:49:00.000-04:00

ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Roam if you want to. Start making big plans. Isn't it time to see more of the world?
Overview: Tired of taking the bull and just getting the horns? Why not pinpoint exactly what it is that you want to see change around here? When you get specific, you might just start to see some change.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Someone might be prone to proselytize in your presence, but you don't have to provide a permanent audience, especially if you have your own life to lead -- and you very definitely do. If you feel up to it, go ahead and engage them in a little open-minded debate. You might just expose them to a whole different point of view that they've never considered, and you can consider that your good deed for the day.
Leo
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Professionally, you're at a turning point, and while you may feel your enthusiasm beginning to lag, it's important to remember that you'll get back exactly what you put into on-the-job tasks. You know you've got the deeds to back up your words, so make sure that you devote your time to doing just that. While your confident way with words is normally irresistible, concrete action is much more appropriate at this time.
Capricorn
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)You're getting so many congratulatory pats on the back that you might need to wear something padded to cushion yourself. Some people (some jealous people, that is) might call it luck, but you know better. In your case, 'luck' was composed of equal parts talent, perseverance, hard work and opportunity. So go ahead and smile pretty for the cameras as they record your success for all posterity. How sweet it is!
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Following routines and obeying orders won't feel very fulfilling right now -- on the contrary, it'll feel like you're kowtowing and knuckling under to authority for no good reason. You're a rebel and you need to feel free of strictures, especially ones that don't make any sense to you. Find ways to convert this strong energy into something useful, and preferably far away from the presence of bosses or other authority figures.

2005-08-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

ambercyn's
Taurus Forecast
Quickie: If you don't feel like doing something, say no. Save yourself the trouble.
Overview: Flirting with danger seems appealing, but it could just complicate things needlessly right now. Why not have a nice, meaningful conversation with stability instead? It might be just what you need.
flirt: You've been tempted to step up and make a move, but try putting it off a little while longer, or maybe even dropping it and looking for something else.
extended: Tiptoe around someone who seems like they might be in a grumpier mood than normal. That doesn't mean you have to muffle everything you say and do, of course, but an extra dash of sensitivity when dealing with them will definitely make your day (and theirs) go a whole lot more smoothly. Don't think that they won't notice, either. They'll return the favor and then some if you're ever in a similar situation.
Libra
extended: You're very good at giving, but it can become such an ingrained habit that you cut yourself off from your own feelings. Rather than disconnecting by convincing yourself that others' needs are more important than yours, find a way to get back in touch with that lively, fun part of yourself that has the capacity to just enjoy what's going on in the now. The stars guarantee a good time if you put yourself first right now.

2005-08-13T10:50:00.000-04:00

"Look What You've Done" - Jet
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

I thought that I made a good choice - with intelligence and intellect...now, I'm thinkin' it was just the drugs.
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Don't pussyfoot your way around the issue. Be direct. Say what's on your mind.
Overview: Calculators might be exact, but you've got an even more subtle and precise instrument working for you -- your instinct. So listen up to what it's trying to tell you -- and be open-minded!
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)A partnership might be ready to proceed at full speed -- the lights are green and there's a clear stretch of road ahead. Whether it's a business or personal relationship, you're more aware than ever that there's more here than meets the eye, and that it deserves your full commitment and a willingness to explore all the fantastic possibilities that lie ahead. So talk it over with your partner. You'll find that they're willing to expand this situation as well.

Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Lately you've been reevaluating what your ideas about romance are. How much of what you need from a relationship has been dictated to you by others? Well, you're ready to toss all that aside and focus on your genuine needs and desires from that special someone in your life. It might be a formidable task to tackle, but finding someone who can keep up with you will be ultimately a very rewarding venture.

2005-08-12T11:14:00.000-04:00

Unraveling Khipu's Secrets - Researchers are moving toward understanding the communicative power of khipu, the Inca's enigmatic knotted strings...tentatively identify the first known khipu "word"; if verified, the find suggests that khipu were one of the world's oldest complex recording systems.

2005-08-12T10:59:00.000-04:00

Helen Reddy topless in some movie in the 70's...stupid male DJ making comments, laughs, "Really, Helen Reddy"?
And why not? I am Woman signified being femme and doing what One wants. I think that most males have issue of seeing a woman naked because of the hardwiring: can't help but think of sex. Thereby a femme is an object and not worthy of respect...generally speaking of course. It would do Women, both genders actually, much good if men processed women being sexual beings too, not just object and a force to be reckoned with. B- says that's how he looks at me: A super-sexy woman that one shouldn't fuck with. Heh-heh. He's pretty smart, at times...for a man. *sticks out tongue*
ambercyn's Daily Taurus Forecast
Quickie: Learn how to take your own emotional pulse. Are you dealing with your feelings?
Overview: Feel like something's on your back, but you can't quite figure out what it is? Examine the recent past for any loose ends that need to be tied into neat bows and double knots. That ought to do it.
Taurus
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Your normally placid exterior might be a wee more aware of any pricks and stings even if they're not directed at you. The stars make you able to perceive things below the surface that you might otherwise miss, but the other side of that ability is seeing slights that might not actually be there. Remember to take nothing personally and remember that you can't know everything that's going on with someone else, and your day will be a breeze.
Libra
Daily extended (by Astrology.com)Right now, your desires are right on the surface. You're like a snake shedding its skin -- you're ready to shuck off anything that inhibits or restricts you, whether that means purging your wardrobe of items that don't fit, giving a boring friend the boot or ridding yourself of bad habits that you know hold you back. You're feeling rebellious and ready to rock, but it's no pose -- these impulses come from a deep and trustworthy place.

Logophile
Logorrhoea